Critique

         A good, constructive critique should highlight and encourage the positive elements of a piece, but more importantly, provide the author with useful insight and instruction that may be utilized in improving the work at hand and in the creation of subsequent works. With that in mind, I intend to examine the elements that contribute to a strong work in the abstract and how well this story fulfills those requirements. Character, description/detail, tone, and structure are all elements that should illuminate and support the overarching theme, or meaning the author is attempting to convey.
         The primary characters within this story are Cooley, the “doomsayer”, Jason, the witness, and the Mayor. What each of these characters represent in the overall scheme of the story depends on the theme or message the author is attempting to espouse. Unfortunately, it is difficult to discern any consistent theme from the limited information we are given about each of these characters. Cooley has the potential to represent the conscience of the town, the moral compass that makes a yearly appearance to ensure the town remains on the “right” road. However, Cooley is presented and described in cliché terms, fails to bring about “the end of the world” and ends up nothing more than a laughing stock or comic buffoon. Jason is similarly presented devoid of any discernable meaning or role other than that of a pseudo-narrator, an observer of this strange, annual event. It would be much more effective to distill the overarching theme in the reactions of this character and any changes the event causes within the character. Finally, the Mayor is presented as a harsh and cruel symbol of authority that laughs at this “doomsayer” and his feeble attempt to bring about the end of the world. This could work as an interesting device if it were meant to illustrate an unattractive aspect of humanity, in our inability to learn even in the face of impending disaster, but without providing the reader with a greater context for the behavior of the Mayor we are left to interpret only what we are given.
         It could be said that the townspeople, and even the weather represent secondary characters. Unfortunately, the townspeople’s reaction or actions throughout are inconsistent and unexplained. First they are anxious for Cooley’s arrival, greeting him with shouts and waves like a “parade”, then suddenly cowering in fear and awe, then just as suddenly they switch to mocking laughter. The arrival of the “doomsayer” and the potential end of the world, especially considering this event has taken place year after year, effects no discernable change in the behavior of the people. So what’s the point?
         It could be said that description and tone are two sides of the same coin. It may help to consider tone as that intended by the author and description as the method the author employs to create that tone. Tone can be one of humor, satire, sarcasm and so on. This piece fails to maintain a consistent tone, or supply those descriptions or details relevant to, or illustrative of, the theme. Detail should never be presented for the sake of detail alone, and any description should be provided to further enhance or clarify the story.
         Some of the details in this story appear to be present for the sake of detail alone. Take for instance the description of Cooley as “disoriented”. How is this manifest? Why is he “disoriented”? How does this detail contribute to what follows in the story? Does this disorientation in someway provide the reader insight into the character and actions of the character?
         One final element to consider is the structure of the story. Structure not only encompasses the semantic elements, or rules of grammar and punctuation, but also the arch of the plotline, or action; movement of the story. While there are numerous instances in this story in which a simple comma could provide clarity, such elements may be best addressed in editing. Our main concern in this critique is the structure of the story itself. We are introduced to the main character, the town, the primary action or event and finally the conclusion. At its most basic the structure itself is fine, though it fails to contribute to the theme or meaning of the story, which remains elusive.
         It should be abundantly apparent that theme is absolutely essential; fundamental to a good story. Once a clear theme is established, all the other elements may be employed to develop and illustrate that meaning. This story has the potential to be an interesting comment on society, but that “comment” must be clear to the author first and foremost. What’s the point? What is this story about? What are you trying to say?