Who Is This Apostle, Peter?

I was born in Bethsadia. As a grown, married man, I cast my nets as a fisherman in Capernaum. My father, Jona, brother, Andrew, Zebedee, his two sons John and James and I own fishing boats and work together.

During our time together as we traveled you have known me as Levi. As we all did, I remained under this alias for safety's sake. I am Peter.

Andrew and I heard John the Baptist as he told of the time for the long awaited Messiah coming near. He spoke with words of fire that convicted Andrew and I to know he spoke the truth. Within our hearts we knew the Messiah, our Savior to save us from Rome and the crooked Pharisees would come during our lifetime.

Andrew came running to me one day shouting of the Messiah being at the Jordan River. He was here. He had arrived.

Excited beyond words, I threw down my nets and ran every step of the way to meet the man they call Jesus. And when I looked upon Him, I knew in my heart He was Holy. He was more than just a man of God. He was THE Son of God. I do not know myself how I knew this, but I knew. It was in His eyes as I gazed into them.

I have a fiery temperment, quick resolve, fearless courage and I am unreservedly outspoken. These traits often caused me to be chastized by Jesus. Through the Master's love for me and the Holy Spirit's power, these same traits were refined and glorified in such a way to show God's glory.

My brother and I were the first to follow Jesus. We were the first to be called to be fishers of men. I let my mouth override my abilities so many times. My intentions were always good, but my faith was not always strong enough. It seems when I was trying the most are the times I fell the hardest.

I was first in many, many things for my Lord. As I stated before, my brother Andrew and I were His first followers. I was always the first to respond to Jesus. When He asked "Who do men say that I am." I knew from the depth of my soul who He really was and responded, "Thou are Christ, son of the living God." (Matt.16:16) It was at this point Jesus honored me greatly by giving me the name of Peter. He says He will build His church upon me. He didn't mean literally build a building on my body. He talks in parables many times so that we may gain better understanding of the Word. He meant because I understood exactly who He was and was not afraid to voice it, not afraid to do His bidding it was that spirit and attitude the church should be built on. All people who are solid in their faith, unashamed to claim it is what the church is built upon.

Knowing this, believing this, I promised to follow Him even to death. I refused to believe Him when He told me I would deny Him three times in one night, yet I did just that. Not only that, I did it when He needed me the most. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a man of contradictions. Jesus says I am capable of great insight and great courage. But I can also be such a stupid man at times and without a backbone. How can I be both? I expected so much of myself; yet I had behaved so pathetically. I had the opportunity to stand up and be counted with the Lord. Instead I vehemently denied that he had ever known Him.

Bitter tears flow each time I think of denying my Lord as I did.

I am the leader of our group of apostles called individually and specifically by Jesus probably because of my big mouth. It does get me in trouble at times, but someone has to step up and lead. This is what the Master taught me, showed me by example daily, every minute I was with Him. Oh, and He could take my fire and spit and quench it with love. He showed me how to turn that fire into a warm, embracing, comforting love for everyone-Jew and Gentile alike.

I defended Jesus with a sword the night they came for Him in Gethsemene. Even in defending Him thus, He reprimanded me. He had been telling us all along this was His destiny. In order to have forgiveness for everyone's sins forevermore He was to be the blood sacrifice. I just could not understand that. I guess I am thick-headed too. Jesus says I am human and that is exactly why He is doing what He is doing.

My heart is so heavy knowing someone I love so much is going to die. I am an emotional man and over-react many times I suppose, but I do have a better understanding of Jesus' earthly mission for the Father since seeing Him transfigured in the Glory of God just as Moses was. You see Jesus loves me so much He allowed me to be there when He spoke with Elijah and Moses. I cannot explain the brightness of the light that shown around Him! Some things just cannot be told in words. We all have said something stupid, which after the words have come out of our mouths, we wish we hadn’t said. Even a setting this Holy I open my mouth and out tumbles, "Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us make three tabernacles; one for you, and one for Moses, and one for Elijah." And what did I say that for? Again I repeat my error of talking too quickly and thinking too little. God the Father, himself bellows, "This is my beloved Son, Hear ye Him."

Except for the times Jesus felt He must be alone with the Father, I was always at His side. I have many memories good and those filled with shame for my unbelief. One such time was as my friends and I were on the Sea of Gallilee we looked toward shore and thought we saw a ghost. It was the Master and HE WAS WALKING ON THE WATER...ON THE WATER! I couldn't believe my eyes. He held out His hand to me and called me to Him. I stepped out on the sea and was walking along just as He was. For a second, just one second I looked away from Him and a sliver of doubt entered my mind and down I went into the sea. One second, my faith floundered, and I was drowning. Jesus could have just let me drown, but He did not. Though he admonished me for such little faith, still He reached out to me and saved me.

We were all in the boat one day after a long day of preaching and teaching when a fierce storm arose. Jesus was sleeping soundly at the stern from exhaustion. The boat was tossing. The waves were huge, coming into the boat and Jesus slept soundly never hearing the loud roar of the wind or feel the tumult of the boat on the waves. I awoke Him, scared for my life and that of all the others with us. Again, He reminded me of forgetting to stay strong in my faith in Him, in the Father. Then quietly, gently, He spoke to the storm, "Peace be still." In that very instant the winds quieted, the waves calmed, all was overpowering peace. Not only the storm but my being, my soul, my heart was filled with divine peace.

I watched as Jesus reached out to touch, to heal, to comfort anyone who would allow Him to do so. The faith they showed allowed many miracles to be performed. The blind could see, the lame walked, the lepers whom no one would touch were healed. I listened as He told in parables the laws as they should be acted out. I learned. I failed. I had many moments of understanding too. I saw and felt such love as I had never known before.

I am a slow learner I suppose, but I finally caught on that I am human; God is Holy and His strength is made perfect in my weakness. See He can turn anything bad to something good. I understand now that when Jesus was transfigured that too was a picture of the Kingdom. Christ glorified, the three apostles representing the redeemed Israel, Moses representing saints who died in Christ, Elijah representing saints who were raptured and the multitudes at the foot of the mountain representing all the nations. Jesus said He would bring the Kingdom of God to us and even though I misunderstood for so long now I know that the Kingdom is in my heart not necessarily a palace with servants here on earth. Not only that but for so long as I live upon earth, believe and have a strong faith in The Son I carry the Kingdom wherever I go. When I die there is a bright, holy, joyful Kingdom awaiting me in Heaven with the Father.

Each of you has become an important part of my life and it is with all sincere hope that you will all choose as I have chosen and accept the kingdom Jesus offers to anyone who will take it. Know my brothers and sisters, if Jesus can use one such as I He can use anyone to carry the Word. Jesus promises though we must say farewell today, The Father will send the Comforter to us when the Son is no longer with us. As much as it pains me to know He will be leaving I know only the truth is in Him and it is coming close to the time for us to do as He bids and feed His sheep with the Word.

And now blessings to you all.

Peter

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