My Lenten Adventure

My Lenten Adventure
February 27, 2011 ~~ April 25, 2011

Before the Adventure—
I’ve never considered myself a Zealot, a Jesus freak, a Bible thumper. I’ve always avoided such folk. They’re embarrassing. I’m just your average, everyday Christian who grew up in an average, everyday Christian home. I went to church on Sundays and Holydays. I learned my prayers, obeyed my parents (most of the time) and respected my neighbors (most of the time). I grew up, got a job, went to work everyday, and became a responsible citizen. Life was good—life was fun (most of the time).

Then life got hard—life got ugly. You know the story. The years brought loss and grief and pain. I turned to God when my dad died. I asked for the tears to stop, for the ache in my heart to subside. But the tears kept coming and my heart was still broken. In time, I got better. I turned to God when my husband died. This time, I asked that I may die too. But I lived, and in time, things got better—never the same, but better. Life wasn’t fun anymore. During the next few years, I turned to God many times when my niece was murdered, many friends passed away, my grandnephew (a twin malformed at birth) succumbed to the impossibility of life without certain organs, and many dear pets were lost to various ailments. Last year my mom died the slow death of Alzheimer’s. Again I turned to God. I asked for understanding. Why did this good woman have to suffer so much? No answers came. I lost my job. I lost my savings. I lost my health. I still turned to God, but I began to think, He doesn’t listen. He doesn’t care. Life is hard—life is ugly. Who is this God I keep turning to?

Why I joined the Adventure—
In February of this year, I heard talk around my favorite internet site, Writing.Com, about an upcoming ‘Adventure’—The Lenten Adventure. I was familiar with these religious activities since I had participated a few months earlier in the Advent Adventure on the site. I learned a lot about the details of the birth of Jesus through my participation in this Advent Adventure, and the journey helped me renew my faith in God, or, at least, a renewal had begun. I still had a long way to go to truly understand this God and His Son, Jesus. I was eager to learn more about His ministry, His death and resurrection, and I had great respect for the leader of these Adventures, Bud Fields, from whom I had sought spiritual advice over the past year. I had plenty of time on my hands. Employers weren’t exactly beating down my door with job offers at the moment. So, why not? Sure, I’ll sign up for this Lenten Adventure. On February 27th, I posted my first “howdy” message in the forum. Thus my journey began.

My Sin—
Our first assignment was a doozy!! Bud asked us to think of the worst sin we had ever committed and to write it down on an index card and put it in a safe hiding place for future use. You want me to WHAT?!! I thought. What have I gotten myself into? Well, it was Lenten Season, a time of repentance for the forgiveness of our sins. So, okay, I thought of a sin. There were many to choose from. I picked what I thought was the worst one and wrote it down on an index card. That was hard to do, putting words to the deed, seeing it in written form. I hid the card so no one would find it, not even my nosy kitten, Lucy. But the sin kept calling me from its hiding place. “Winnie, I’m still here,” it would whisper from the bottom of my dresser drawer. I was glad when the time came to burn the card with the sin written on it. I watched the smoke rise into the sky as it burned and felt a kind of peace knowing the sin was gone…or was it? More on this later.

My Epiphany of Logos—
Early in the Adventure, I experienced a rather profound epiphany regarding the Logos of Jesus. Bud was really excited about my discovery. We were asked to study certain miracles which Jesus performed from the perspective of the three modes of persuasion: Ethos, Pathos, and Logos. You see, we had to understand the people and the political mind-set of 28 AD Israel because we were about to journey through this land in this time of Christ.

I learned that Ethos denotes the ethics, guiding beliefs, or ideals that characterize a community, nation, or ideology—the spirit which motivates the ideas and customs of a people. For instance, the Jewish people were waiting for a promised Messiah. This ‘Ethos’ motivated their actions, their way of worship, and their customs.

Pathos represents the sympathies, imaginations, and emotions of its audience by metaphors, stories, or parables. That’s why Jesus taught his lessons in parable. He knew the people of the era related to such symbolism.

Logos means word, speech, account, or reason as it applies to the logic or the principle of order and knowledge. For instance, the Bible is the Word, the Logos of Christian knowledge. My research brought me to a great find. The books of the ancient Hebrew Scripture referred to God as The Word, or Logos. They had to call Him something. He wasn’t a man. His form is unknown, so they called Him the Word. This was a good choice of word (pardon the pun) for God since He is the principle of all order and knowledge.

But what’s interesting, exciting really, is that in his Gospel, John says, “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was WITH God.” Wait a minute! Did John just say "the Word was with God?" From the beginning? Before creation? Is there another person John is talking about? There must be, because how can God be with God. There is someone else there. Then John says, “The Word became flesh; he lived among us, and we saw his glory, the glory that he has from the Father as only Son of the Father, full of grace and truth.” What??!! This "Word" that is with God became FLESH? One of us? And this "Word-Man" is the Son of the Father? I believe here, in this statement, is the birth of our Christian faith and the first mention of the Trinity. Jesus has been introduced as a second person, yet with all the attributes of God Himself. He IS God. I always knew this from my childhood Sunday school teachings, but I never really KNEW this until I understood this origin and basis in the Word. At this point in the Adventure, I was hooked. I couldn’t wait to see where the next path would lead me on my journey in discovering the identity of God.

The Characters of the Adventure—
Upon enrollment into the Adventure, we were asked to choose a Biblical character who would allow us to play a believable role in the journey to Calvary. I chose the Roman Centurion’s servant who was healed by the word of Jesus. Little is written about the servant from his point of view, so I had much freedom with the development of my character. I named him Antonius and I named his master, the Roman Centurion, Marcus. I had great fun with Antonius. Before Jesus cured his paralysis, he was a gentile of Greek origin, well learned in history and philosophy. He was a non-believer of any gods, either from Mount Olympus or from Heaven. Throughout the journey and after his encounter with Jesus in the dark abyss near death's door, Antonius grew in his faith and became a follower of Jesus. He liked wine and so did his companion, Rufus, the arrogant, opinionated camel. As the journey proceeded, Rufus was caught on numerous occasions, even in the presence of Jesus, sneaking sips of wine from unattended cups around their various camps. Rufus grew to love his fellow travelers, especially Martha, the sister of Mary and Lazarus. I thought Bud’s idea of characterization and role playing was genius. This made the journey from Jesus’ baptism at the River Jordan to His death and resurrection in Jerusalem, and all the sermons and miracles in between, come to life right before my eyes. Bud was our guide, and he played a perfect Joseph of Arimathea. There was Martha, Mary Magdalene, Pontius Pilate and his wife Claudia, Jonathan the Scribe, the Apostles Peter and John, Phoebe deaconess to Paul. Even Jesus appeared on the journey. And of course, me, Antonius and Rufus, the wine-drinking camel.

The Messages Under the Stone—
As the group of travelers rested during the night in whatever location they found themselves, they would awake to find a “message under the stone” left by a mysterious associate of Joseph, our guide. The message usually contained information as to Jesus’ whereabouts and activities which led us daily to the forum to discuss matters concerning miracles and lessons taught by Jesus.

The Journey—
The journey led us through many aspects of Jesus’ ministry. We witnessed the baptism by John the Baptist, Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness, the miracles of turning water into wine at Cana, the raising of the dead, and the healing of lepers, the blind, the deaf, the possessed. Many discussions arose of such activities. We researched maps of Israel, the meaning of sin and temptation and angels and holiness. We learned of the political mind-set of the Romans and the twisted teachings of the Jewish Law by the corrupt and hypocritical religious leaders of the era. Finally, our Adventure led us to Jerusalem’s High Counsel and the trial and sentencing of an innocent man. We witnessed His scourging, His journey with a heavy cross on His back, and the nailing of His hands and feet to a cross. Jesus suffered ridicule and mockery, the helpless look from His mother, the utter loneliness as His followers fled into hiding. His final words, “It is finished” pierced our hearts as He took His last breath.

Where We Are Now—
The day is silent. It is Holy Saturday. Jesus, our friend, is no longer with us. His message lingers in our minds, but was it all a lie, a cruel hoax? We are afraid. We are in hiding. Our own fate may follow that of Jesus. The soldiers and the temple guards are hunting those who followed and believed in Him. Do we still believe? Do we dare speak His name? All the miracles, were they a sorcerer's trick to deceive us? What do we do now? Where do we go? There is no hope. There is no ministry. We are not 'fishers of men' only fools with a shattered dream.

I can imagine these words were said by the disciples in dark locked rooms all over Jerusalem. Imagine the complete hopelessness they carried inside them. Why didn't they believe Jesus' words? Even though He told them time and time again that He would die and rise again, this was beyond their comprehension. They just didn't 'get it'. But God did not abandon them or punish them in their despair. This fact is amazing to me. God could have struck them all blind for their lack of faith, but He didn't. Instead, soon, He will send the Spirit to strengthen them to carry out the most fantastic ministry the world has ever known. Two thousand years later their words of testimony will be read and believed. God certainly had a plan, didn't He?

What the Adventure Means to Me—
My relationship with Jesus has deepened. I understand now that my sin written on that index card and burned at the beginning of my journey is gone. It does not exist. It has been forgotten by God through the blood of Jesus Christ. It is as far from me as the East is from the West. I actually do ‘get it’. I felt the grit in my eyes on the journey, the stench of the cave we camped in for months, the pressing mobs of hate and fear in the orchard outside of Capernaum where we waited to see Jesus, the presence of Jesus sitting next to Rufus and talking to me. I WAS Antonius. I witnessed the betrayal, the trial, the flesh torn from His entire body at the scourging, the jeers of the soldiers and the Temple guards, the weight of the heavy solid-wooden cross. I WAS Simon from Cyrene carrying the cross for Him. I WAS His mother, Mary, watching helplessly as my little boy stumbled on the hard rough cobblestone road, bleeding from every surface of His body. I WAS Peter denying my friend out of fear for my life. I WAS even Pilate and Judas and the Roman soldier driving the nails into his hands and feet as I laughed at His agony.

And yes, I WAS Jesus looking down from the cross, my body writhing in unbearable pain from the thorns dug deep into my forehead and scalp to the nails driven completely through both feet. I was thirsty. I was hot. I was naked. I labored to force air into my lungs with each breath. But the worst agony imposed on me was not physical. My soul was crushed, my heart had been pierced. Where were my friends, my disciples, the throngs who sang ‘Hosanna’ in the streets of Jerusalem? I was alone. Even my Father was silent. Would no one defend me—help me—love me?

Would I take a turn on the cross? Would I give my Jesus, who is suffering unspeakable torture, a break? Had it been possible to take Him down, let Him rest, and put me on the cross, I would have done it. But I’m not sinless. I’m not the one who must die for all of mankind. I am not the Son of God. Instead, I am the one who put Him up there.

What I can do is offer my own sufferings (and they are many) for a turn at the cross. Without complaint, without self-pity, without a demand of help from others, I can suffer quietly in the hopes that my acceptance of God’s Will would somehow give tiny comfort for the One who bore my sin and secured my salvation. Perhaps my own grief and loss in my life would allow a gentle breeze to cool His body. Maybe my constant arthritis pain grinding my joints could provide numbness in His limbs so the nails wouldn’t hurt anymore.

This Adventure has allowed me to experience the Lenten Season in a way I have never experienced it before. I was actually there.