Them Dirty Words

Them Dirty Words

      "Mr. Pimplenickel, you look at me when I’m speaking to you," Mrs. Henderson says.
      Swicker Pimplenickel got his name because his face is full of pimples and and he ain't never had two nickels to rub together. He looked up from his desk in Math class, when a ray of sunshine cast through the window and blanketed the room in light like a lamp does to a living room at about noontime on a Tuesday afternoon At the bulging belly of Mrs. Henderson. It was rounder than a bowling ball and thicker than the curly-tipped mustache growing on her upperest lip. Swicker tried not to snicker and lifted his eyes to look at Mrs. Henderson's round little head.
      She won’t happy.
      "I'm not happy with you, Mr. Pimplenickel,” she stated.
      Swicker gets hit in the back of the head with a paper ball and he shouted.
      "Mr. Pimplenickel, you watch you're tone in my classroom"
      "I sorry Mizus Henderson; I got hit in the head with a paper ball."
      Ms. Henderson still won’t happy with Swicker.
      "Tell me why you think its funny writing dirty words on the chalkboard while I’m outside, monitoring recess--which! You were supposed to be at..."
      "I ain't thought its funny." He said Triffer made me do it".
      Triffer is scared. He scoot down in his seat and
      "Don't drag Triffer Thompson into this, Mr. Pimplenickel!"
      Swicker picked a pimple on his face and makes it bleed. "Can I go to the nurse?"
      "No, Mr. Pimplenickel. You haven't answered my question."
      "What was your question?"
      "You know what my question was."
      "No I don't, Mrs. Henderson. I'm bleeding!"
      "Mrs. Henderson's bulging belly popped into his face.
      "Where were you when everybody else was at recess?" she asked Snicker, who was now doodling on his desktop with a felt-tip pen that kinda leaked, and his elbow slid in the puddle of ink beside his doodle and smeared his doodle too, and Snicker wiped his elbow on his pants. Then he cried because he was bleeding on his leg too, because the ink was red and it looked like blood when it seeped into his britches. "I'm bleeding, Mrs. Henderson! Cain't I go to the nurse?"
      "No!" Her big belly slapped his cheek.
      The pimple on his chin was dripping blood on the desk, making the puddle spread wider and now his whole desk looks like it got blood all over it
      Mrs. Henderson makes him come up to the chalkboard and she ask him to write what it was he wrote while everybody else was at recess.
      Snicker can't do that because he's scared he's gonna get blood on the floor. But really he isn't bleeding, except for a tiny speck of blood on his chin where he popped his pimple, but he think's he's bleeding because of red stains on his britches and smeared on his elbow is a big mess of redness. "I cain't do that, Mrs. Henderson." Snicker said.
      Mrs. Henderson wanna know why.
      "Them was dirty words I wrote on the board...oh, and I'm bleeding! Cain't I go to the nurse?"
      Mrs. Henderson won't let him go. "No. Go ahead and write on the board those dirty words."
      Mrs. Henderson sits in Snicker Pimplenickel's seat and its hard for her to fit because she's got that big belly. Something makes a cracking noise when she finally squeezed inside of it.
      "Mrs. Henderson! You squished my army man!" Snicker Pimplenickel.
      "Nevermind that! Go ahead and write them dirty words on the board. We wanna see what you wrote."
      Triffer is still squat down in his seat and he ain't coming up.
      Snicker look like a horror show, with his redness stains on his arm and britches. He wipe his face and got the ink across his forehead. "I don't wanna write them dirty words, Mrs. Henderson."
      "You did it before. Do it again."
      Something else cracks in Snicker Pimplenickel's seat, in which Mrs. Henderson is sat.
      Snicker takes the chalk and he moves his bloody arm into the curly motions of writing on the chalkboard to form them dirty words he wrote there before, but to be perfectly honest, he didn't really write them dirty words because Triffer wrote ‘em when Mrs. Henderson was outside monitoring recess and Snicker Pimplenickel, he won't even in the classroom, or the school. He was outside on the jungle gym with his army men he keep in his back pocket, though one of them slipped out and that's what Mrs. Henderson crushed when she sitted in his seat.
      Snicker writes them dirty words on the board.
      Mrs. Henderson is not happy. She wiggles in her seat. Something else makes a crack, groan in Snickers chair.
      "Cain't I go to the nurse, Mrs. Henderson?"
      "No! Now you tell us why you wrote them there dirty words on the board."
      "Because you told me two, Mrs. Henderson."
      "No, before. Why'd you write them during recess?
      "He looks at Triffer.
      Triffer ain't gonna say nothin.
      "I got a confession to make, Mrs. Henderson," says Snicker.
      Mrs. Henderson is waiting. Crack! Pop! Groan! Goes his chairs.
      "I has a problem with dirty words. I just love to write them dirty words on walls and chalkboards, sidewalks and notebooks and mirrors that get all foggy in the bathroom when I take a really hot shower. I just cain't control myself, Mrs. Henderson."
      Crack!
      Pop!
      Groan...
      "Is that all you have to say for yourself?"
      "Can I go to the nur--"
      "Yes, go! Go to the nurse, Mr. Pimplenickel." Mrs. Henderson is tryin to stand up outta Snicker's desk but she can't get her bulging belly to pop out. She pulls as hard as she can. Crack! Pop! Snicker Pimpernickel's desk cracks down the side and into four pieces underneath Mrs. Henderson. Her big belly jiggles in a wave produced from the pull of gravity!
      "Mr. Pimpernickel!"
      "I cain't help you, Mrs. Henderson. I got to go to the nurse. I'm bleeding!"

   

  The End!