MY STORY - I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE

Having read 'What's YOUR story - I choose to believe' I was challenged to write something myself. To write your life story in a few words is difficult - it's like choosing a favourite song; you're bound to forget some others that are special to you. Life is made up of many incidents which influence the path you take - too many to recall. You have many choices and you make many mistakes. And life throws unexpected things at you, which also have a bearing on the road you take. People come into your life - sometimes in a big way, sometimes in a small way.

As for coming to faith in God, as a child I was sent to Sunday School like many others. It didn't mean a lot, but seeds of faith must have been planted. I had problems in my childhood which left me scarred, and I cried out to God for help, if he was there. I would have conversations with him when there was no one else to talk to. I felt different from others, I seemed to live in my own world.

As a teenager I 'accidentally' tuned in to Trans World Radio and found out what it meant to be a real Christian. It opened up new horizons for me when I trusted in Jesus for the forgiveness of my sins. But I was still living in my own private world and my progress as a new Christian was slow. I wanted to be better but I was struggling with a particular sin. God led me to someone who became a dear Christian friend - looking back he was a great influence on my life although he didn't live to see my 'real' conversion.

Gradually I drifted away from God and was sucked deeper into sin. I still prayed and had plenty of 'God moments' but the Devil (or maybe it was just my old sinful nature) still had me within his grasp. Well, eventually big trouble came along; I was found out. My worst nightmare happened and I was being blackmailed. I had to go to the police and suffer the consequences of my sin. As I prayed to God to help me, he came back into my life strongly. I discovered he still loved me in spite of my failings. Amazingly, I was spared prosecution by the CPS, whereas my blackmailer was tried and went to prison.

During this time, God had led me to The Salvation Army where I came to real faith and discovered a new way of life with God at the centre of it. This is not to say that I have totally beaten the sin which 'so easily beset me' but I am in better control and ask God to help me when I am tempted. If I should fail, I ask him for forgiveness and a new start. Whilst not being a perfect 'saint' by any means, I know I am a new creation and God is working on me to be what he wants me to be. He accepts me as I am, just like he did many well known Bible characters with faults.

My faith has been my salvation. Had I not met people who helped me spiritually I could have been destined for a life of crime and punishment. I am grateful to many people who helped me at various points in my life. I firmly believe God put these people in my path. Why, I don't know. I didn't deserve God's love. But that's grace for you - God's undeserved mercy. And it's free to anyone who seeks God. My life has changed immeasurably, I have been set free from a life of selfishness and now try to serve God and others. I am so glad I chose to believe.