Exorcising Memories

Have you ever tried to capture something that you just couldn't quite define?
That's today's task ahead of me. I woke up in a state of terror again this morning, trying once again to caputre the essence of my nightmares before they fade away into the mists of forgotten memories.

I can hear the coffee percolating in the kitchen, she used to try to make me tea, but it just wasn't the same. I'm heading to the studio before breakfast, I can feel the images, maybe today is the day I can exorcise them.

It'd been a full year since that day, a full year of being alone; of wondering.

Ah, good! A fresh canvas sitting, waiting for me to open up and bleed.

Now, where to start? Eyes. The eyes were always the first, Genevive's eyes had never failed to sparkle when I was near, so I'll start with her eyes, a soft expression. I carefully dance the brush across the canvas, defining her jawline with the colour of weak tea. She had always seems incongruous, her olive skin offset by her light red hair and emerald eyes. Jonathan however, had dark hair like mine. The boy was destined to be a brawny, swarthy man like his father.

I wiped away a solitary tear at that thought. He would never be that man now. Not since that night a year ago. A man tries to do everything right, yet still there were some points at which random fate takes over and rips the world apart.

My wife and baby boy, gone in an instant as our car was hit broadside by an out of control transport truck.

I still want to scream.