Lesson 2, Assignment 2

Carolyn's POV:
I leaned over the hospital bed to give Tillman a quick kiss asking my husband how he felt today.

"Better." A look of concern remained on his face.

Fear of the worse crept into my tone. "So what is bothering you? I can see the worry in your face. Has the doctor given you some news about the back surgery I don't know about?"

I could not imagine what life would be without Tillman. We eloped when I was sixteen and carry every load of life together. What if he could no longer do the work he so loved?

Agitation showed in his voice, "No. I'm just worried about things at home. This hospital is two hundred miles from home and the dairy, the workers, cows birthing in this dreary, cold, sloppy weather and I am in this hospital bed and can't get up. It's frustrating."

"I know you worry about it, but me and the girls are taking care of it. Sandy helps with the milking as soon as she changes out of her school clothes. She gets up her homework in the feed room when the cows don't need as much attention during milking. Vicky is good at doing the housework while I take your place and Margaret does her share with chores and the bucket calves. She's too little to much else." I reassured him while not speaking of the neighbors who had convinced all the hands living on the place to move to their farm. This would cause all the labor to lie on my shoulders with help of just my three young daughters. Mr. Howard and Murray have always had visions of owning our land. That's all they want. They don't care about the workers. They think this would force me and Tillman to sell. Then they will just throw them off their land without jobs. I won't let them have what's ours!

"How about Uncle Evie? Are you checking on him and Aunt Florrie every day?"

Unexpected anger exploded from deep inside.

"Don't you think I have enough to do without taking care of them too? I love them, but they have grown children that can check on them."

Tillman spoke softly, " You know they all live a long way off and Uncle Evie depends on me to keep a check on things since he had that breakdown. I try to be there to keep him from having another one. He can't seem to make the decisions when things get rough and it seems an impossible task for him to handle. I just try to keep up with running the place so his mind is at ease."

Tillman always uses that tone to try to coddle me just like one of the kids instead of his wife!"

"I am just one human, Tillman! Your daddy is getting up at two every morning to start the milking after I get the cows to the barn and lot. I go back to the house to make sure Sandy has fed her sisters and eaten herself. She is losing weight and I have to make her eat. She makes sure her sisters are dressed and ready to catch the bus. The bus leaves and I am back at the barn to finish the milking. Gramp and I clean the barn. You know it's time for inspection by the state folks and it has to be clean enough to eat off the floors. I put out the hay and silage fighting the mud all the way. We have two cows who have breeched this last week and I had to pull both calves and now the mama's and calves are to be seen to every day. As if I didn't already have enough to keep up with, the bucket calves have scours and it's awful trying to keep the stalls cleaned out with the mud and the calves loose bowels!"

Piqued, Tillman interrupted the tirade, "Why don't you have Jim and Man doing that work? That's what I pay them for!"

My unshed tears tumbled out now, "I didn't mean to get so upset. I was trying to keep that from you."

"Keep what from me?"

Carolyn took a deep breath calming her anger. "If I tell you you will just try to get out of bed too soon and the surgery will just be money spent and you'll still be in pain."

Twinges of anger showed in Tillman's voice, "You don't have a choice now, Carolyn. I will just check myself out and come home and see if you don't tell me what you're talking about."

"Mr. Howard and Murray have come and moved all the help to their farm. It's just me, Gramp, and the girls to do everything." I closed my eyes to shut out the enevitible anger that would ensue. I didn't want you to worry. We are handling it. It's hard, but they won't ever own our land! Me and the girls will do whatever it takes to keep up."

I stopped and took another breath.

"I didn't mean to get mad. I guess I'm just tired. I am doing all I can do just now and thinking about having to take on Uncle Evie's farm was just an overload is all. You know I love them and I'll check on them as soon as I get home. The girls may just have to miss a day or two of school to help out more. You just get well so it can be you and me working. Nobody can beat us then, but you have to heal right or we'll be right back here again." Tillman gently pulled me to him. I leaned to give my life partner a real kiss this time.

Tillman's POV:

"Who's this pretty little girl peeking in my door," I greeted my wife.

"I haven't been a little girl in a long time, Tillman, and not sure I was ever pretty." Carolyn responded grinning.

"Everybody knows Hense Rosamond has the most beautiful daughters in the state and I married me one of them."

She leaned over the hospital bed to give me a quick kiss. "How are you feeling today?"

"Better."

I was trying to be upbeat to keep the worry that kept me up all last night from being detected. The farm isn't something you can take a vacation from, or be sick from. Milking on a Grade A dairy has to be done twice a day every day, seven days a week. It's January, cold, wet from two weeks of heavy rain and no job for Carolyn to be having to handle by herself.

"So what is bothering you? I can see the worry in your face. Has the doctor given you some news about the back surgery I don't know about?" she asked.

"No. I'm just worried about things at home. This hospital is two hundred miles from home, the dairy, the workers, cows birthing in this dreary, cold, sloppy weather and I am in this hospital bed and can't get up. It's frustrating."

I decided maybe I needed to change the subject to keep Carolyn from knowing just how worried I am. I don't want her to think I don't think her capable of doing a good job. I just know how hard it is this time of year.

"How are Uncle Evie and Aunt Florrie. Are you checking on them every day?"

"Don't you think I have enough to do without taking care of them too? I love them, but they have grown children that can check on them," she replied sharply.

I don't know where the anger stemmed from, but better try to soothe it. " You know they all live a long way off and Uncle Evie depends on me to keep a check on things since he had that breakdown. I try to be there to keep him from having another one. He can't seem to make the decisions when things get rough and it seems an impossible task for him to handle. I just try to keep up with running the place so his mind is at ease."

Carolyn's face began to flush and sharp words began to fall over themselves, "I am just one human, Tillman! Your daddy is getting up at two every morning to start the milking after I get the cows to the barn and lot. I go back to the house to make sure Sandy has fed her sisters and eaten herself. She is losing weight and I have to make her eat. She makes sure her sisters are dressed and ready to catch the bus. The bus leaves and I am back at the barn to finish the milking. Gramp and I clean the barn. You know it's time for inspection by the state folks and it has to be clean enough to eat off the floors. I put out the hay and silage fighting the mud all the way. We have two cows who have breeched this last week and I had to pull both calves and now the mamas and calves are to be seen to every day. As if I didn't already have enough to keep up with, the bucket calves have scours and it's awful trying to keep the stalls cleaned out with the mud and the calves loose bowels!"

I interrupted the tirade agitated that she didn't have the hired help doing these jobs. "Why don't you have Jim and Man doing that work? That's what I pay them for!"

Tears began streaming down Carolyn's face. "I didn't mean to get so upset. I was trying to keep that from you."

"Keep what from me?"

Carolyn took a deep breath calming her anger. "If I tell you you will just try to get out of bed too soon and the surgery will just be money spent and you'll still be in pain."

I was beginning to feel angry.

"You don't have a choice now, Carolyn. I will just check myself out and come home and see if you don't tell me what you're talking about."

"Mr. Howard and Murray have come and moved all the help to their farm. It's just me, Gramp, and the girls to do everything. I didn't want you to worry. We are handling it. It's hard, but they won't ever own our land! Me and the girls will do whatever it takes to keep up."

Carolyn took another deep breath.

"I didn't mean to get mad. I guess I'm just tired. I am doing all I can do just now and thinking about having to take on Uncle Evie's farm was just an overload is all. You know I love them and I'll check on them as soon as I get home. The girls may just have to miss a day or two of school to help out more. You just get well so it can be you and me working. Nobody can beat us then, but you have to heal right or we'll be right back here again."

Taking her hand and gently pulling her to me I shared a deep, soul-felt kiss with my wife.