The Invasion Solution

The Invasion Solution

I am writing to you to let you know I've moved into a new living arrangement.  I thought you might come visit, so I am sending you my address.  I'm sure you are wondering why I left my home on my beautiful land in south Texas, a place I said I'd never leave for any amount of money.  Here is the story of what happened to me.  I want to warn you; it could happen to you.

A sunny day in Texas followed by a cloudless, starry skied night, what could be better than that?  I was sleeping soundly in my bed in my own house which I had paid for when I heard heavy footsteps right outside my bedroom door.  I shook with fear.  Who could it be?  Why were they here?  Did they come to rob me or worse?

The door burst open. A man and woman entered and the man declared, "We came in the back door even though it was locked.  This seemed like a good place to live, so we're here.  Now, get up and feed us from your refrigerator.  We've traveled all night, and we are very hungry.  Oh, and in the morning, call the doctor.  One of our children is sick and needs medicine."

To say I was shocked is putting it mildly.  I didn't know these people, but I suspected where they'd come from.  Now, I had to figure out how to get them out of my house.

I sat down on a chair and thought awhile.  Here is what went through my head: I own a gun; I could shoot them.  But then the sheriff would come and arrest me for killing unarmed people.  I could simply call the sheriff and ask him to arrest them for invading my house and property.  That last idea is what I did.

"Thanks for coming, Sheriff.  I have a problem.  There are people in my house I did not invite there.  They are demanding I feed them and pay for a doctor.  I want you to arrest them and take them away.  I am sure they are breaking several of the laws of our state, including illegal entering. This should be no problem for a law enforcement officer like you."

I stood in disbelief when I heard the sheriff say as he took a look at the people, "Well, now, I don't think I can touch them.  How do I know you didn't invite them?  They look peaceful, and I can't type cast them or racially profile them out of political correctness.  I think you're stuck with them.  Good day.  I wish you well." He got back in his cruiser and drove away.

Stuck with my uninvited guests, I decided to sit on my sofa to think of a solution only to find two children asleep there.  When I stepped back into the bedroom, the adults were under the covers in my only bed.

In total frustration, I went outside and saw several people approaching my house.  When I rose to meet them, they went right on past me and into my house.  Over their shoulders, they spoke to me briefly, "Our brother told us to come on over that he'd found a nice place for us to stay.  We'll be needing breakfast."

After a few days, the house was quite crowded with no room to move around.  The last man who came took me aside and looked me in the eye and said, "You know, you need to be thinking about finding a new place to live.  We've got our food stamps and our free medical care now.  We can vote in your elections for liberal politicians who will defend rights to invade and take over your space.  We don't need your presence here anymore."

I was dumbfounded but unless I wanted to go to jail for shooting them, I didn't see any recourse.  I sat down on the ground and thought it out carefully. Maybe jail wasn't such a bad thing: I'd have my own bed, three meals a day, free medical care from the government, and I'd already gotten used to sharing my space with people I didn't know.  I went looking for my gun.