Ideas about Infidelity

A few months ago my sister's husband was training to become a truck driver. "Great!" I thought and she asked if my husband to talk to her husband about the life, the job and everything. "Can do." I replied and we went up for a visit.



While the guys are in the dining room talking about everything from log books to pee jugs my sister says to me "I don't see how you do it." Now, a few words about my sister, she's not the greatest communicator. Throw you a bone and make you beg for the rest. So I gave my opinion: communication is the key, we talk more on the phone than we do in person, etc.. Then she says something about truck drivers and infidelity.



"Huh?" I reply.



This conversation is similar to one I had with a customer when I worked at Famous/Barr; she said that she was surprised I could trust my husband out of town.



Trust. Either you've got it, or you ain't. And that got me thinking: why do some people trust their spouses (in either location) and some don't?



Is trust taught? I think in my family's case, it is. See, I think my mom was taught to not trust her husband, because her mom didn't trust her husband, and this practice goes back several generations. So maybe that's where my sister got it. If that's the case, then why do I trust my husband? Why am I not paranoid that he's out spraying seed like a fire hose?



So maybe trust is learned. You have to be secure in a relationship. Speaking from nearly twenty years experience of being married, I can say that it doesn't come easy. There's lots of fights, sleepless nights and annoyed silences that come in a relationship. (And days when you wish your spouse was beamed back to the mother ship.) So why don't some people learn to trust and others don't? Maybe I should look at the previous paragraph. Okay, I did, but at some point you have to ask yourself "Is this a sane way to live?"