Silent Sally's Mistake

         The office for mimes was a quiet place.

         The boss, Silent Sally, was a tall woman who would have been imposing if it wasn't for her masterfully done makeup job. It made her positively... well, almost approachable. She was the only woman in the entire office who wore heels, though she was probably the one who needed them the least.

         The problem with miming, is there are no visionaries in the profession! thought Silent Sally to herself one day. There needs to be improvements in miming. Something to keep it fresh and new. She thought this over for awhile.

         It took her awhile to figure out how to mime "visionaries".

         On Friday, Silent Sally held interviews, looking for someone new. Mime after mime came in, and mime after mime were thrown out. It was the very last interview of the day, and Silent Sally was frustrated. She tried not to scowl when the final interviewee walked in. At least the long day was almost over, she decided.

         The final interviewee was a tall, gangly man, probably young, but you never could tell with all that makeup on. His hair, instead of black or covered with a hat, was bright red. His clothes, instead of tight, were baggy. His shirt, instead of striped, was polka dotted!

         The name was Dumb Dave. He was all smiles and cheerful miming during his interview. Perhaps it was his smile. Perhaps it was his hair, or his polka dotted shirt, but for whatever reason, Silent Sally hired him on the spot.

         It took her awhile to mime "you're hired".

         When Dumb Dave showed up for work the next week, black and white painted faces peered from above imaginary cubicle walls, their faces expressing interested "oooh"s.

         That was when the trouble smiled. Dumb Dave, cheerful and smiling, strode to his new desk and glanced around. Suddenly, "Hey! That's funny! Where are all the cubicle walls?"

         Dumb Dave had spoken. The office froze in place. Every mime stared at him, everyone shocked. Every mouth was in a circle, every eyebrow was raised to every hairline. Noiseless Naomi fainted. Hushed Harry, who always had a crush on her, rushed to her side.

         Dumb Dave shrugged and smiled, then sat at his imaginary desk. The mimes looked at each other, shocked. Silent Sally knew what she had to do.

         It didn't take her very long to mime "you're fired".

         Once she thought Dumb Dave had got the message, she went to her desk.

         The next day, Dumb Dave had arrived promptly for work, beaming away as usual. Everyone was horrified. But it got worse. Dumb Dave had brought a briefcase with him.

         Noiseless Naomi fainted again when Dumb Dave opened the case and pulled out brightly colored props. Props!

         Silent Sally took a little longer to mime "you're fired."

         Relieved that this nightmare was finally over, Silent Sally returned to her work. She pondered the difference between miming "stuck in a cardboard box" and "stuck in a wooden crate".

         But the next day, his grin as wide as ever, Dumb Dave showed up to work again. This time, he had something different in his briefcase, which he opened with a click. Noiseless Naomi pretended to faint this time, and she waggled her eyebrows conspiratorially at Soundless Sarah as Hushed Harry hurried to Noiseless Naomi's side.

         Dumb Dave pulled out balloons. So many balloons! The sounds echoed across the room and he blew the balloons up. He huffed and puffed, the wind entering and exiting his lungs with whooshing sounds. Squeak, squeak, squeeaaaaaak, went the balloons and he twisted them, oh so loudly! into shapes.

         Silent Sally finally realized her mistake. The word "dumb" meant something completely different to Dumb Dave. He smiled his clueless smile and began passing out dogs, bunnies, swords and hats to the mimes.

         How had Silent Sally missed it? How could she have not known? Dumb Dave was no mime. Dumb Dave was a clown.

         Silent Sally was completely horrified. But she had a plan. It was a long, noisy day at the office, and Naomi had to faint many times. She did every time a balloon popped.

         When the day was finally over, and everyone left, Silent Sally gathered up all of Dumb Dave's things, each and every one of those terrible, racket-making items, and put them in a pile outside the office. She took a piece of paper and wrote words on them. It was a desperate measure, she knew, but she had to do it. "You're fired!" the piece of paper announced. Then she locked the door and went home.

         It didn't take very long at all for Silent Sally to mime a relieved sigh. It was all over.

         The next day, Silent Sally was smiling as she went to work. She locked the door behind her when she went in, and only got up to allow the other mimes in.

         When Dumb Dave showed up for work, the door stayed locked. Noiseless Naomi thought about fainting then decided it might be a bit much to do so at the sound of Dumb Dave's loud knocking. Hushed Harry looked disappointed.

         The day went on, but the loud knocking and banging at the door never stopped. The noise went from slightly irksome, to really irritating, to the point where no mime could stand it. Dumb Dave just wouldn't leave!

         Silent Sally went to the door. She made the angriest face she could, and finally opened the door. Dumb Dave beamed.

         Completely livid, unable to hold herself back, Silent Sally glared at the employee who would never leave. Then, before she could stop herself, she screeched, "You're fired! Get out of here!"

         Dumb Dave looked perplexed. "Oh. Huh. Okay." Then shrugged and smiled again. He gathered up his stuff and started walking away, but turned his head at the last moment and asked, "Why didn't you just say so?"