Muddy Water

I want you to touch me gently,
put your arms around me tight.
I need you to give back to me,
joy in this precious life.

I am so tired of seeking,
to find out what is true.
The water here’s too muddy,
I cannot make it through.

The longer I’m emerged in this,
the dirtier I begin to feel.
Open wounds in my heart, 
never get a chance to heal.

The mud has gotten watery,
it never gets a chance to dry.
Sometimes there's this awful smell,
so familiar I want to cry.

No rain or sun can wash away,
what’s buried at the bottom.
The longer it is left untouched,
the more it becomes rotten.

If by chance there was a flood,
the abuse would all resurface.
Out there for the world to see,
which just might be my purpose.

There's been too many mudslides,
to rock this old foundation.
Now that I am stuck in it,
I have nothing but frustration.

I'm forced to clean up this mess,
for this task just cannot wait.
Too much damage has been done,
with too many human mistakes.

I agreed to end this battle,
though my personal war goes on.
No matter what the weather is,
the dirt here will never be gone.

A childhood full of dirt and smut,
that could never be washed away.
Memories are there to remind me,
of the abuse encountered each day.