I am a student at the rockin review academy. I hope you don't mind if I review some of your work for my classes. I see you wrote a piece here on our cities homeless people. I hope you don't mind if I take a look at it. My name is Marcia.
Oh my goodness, I am in a little shock. You started off on a positive note talking about how you used to help the homeless as a child and ended on a very negative note where you hit a homeless man with your car so, you needed to go to the car wash. How sad.
Your story is well written and very easy to read but, you displayed much anger at the homeless people of the world. I think this is because you have a sincere fear that someday this may happen to you. I truly believe that you can prevent this from happening and you would be an awesome advocate for people who need help getting homes. I think you need to take your anger and make it work for you and others in a positive way.
Your punctuation,spelling,grammar look fine to me
Things I Like:
I want to see that strong anger for the homeless turn into homes for the poor or low income housing. I know in my heart you can do this. Become an advocate for those who need a strong person like yourself to go bat for them. Make your anger work for yourself and others. I do it. I have cerebral palsy. I was born with it. I belong to two groups. One is called ADAPT and the other is called policy posy. We fight for many things but, the main thing is to help disabled and elderly people keep their independent housing status. Take care and may God Bless! Marcia Marcia: Loves Teddy Bears!
When the reviewers are not honest with the author we are reviewing we are not being honest with ourselves either. We aren't helping them if we don't tell them the truth. They will just continue to write what they think is right because we told them it was great writing instead of taking the time to help them learn what they needed to improve on in their writing. I don't think the writer would be able to grow very much or learn very much if he or she was isolated and didn't get some kind of feedback one way or the other because how would he or she know if anyone would be interested in what he or she has written if no one has reviewed it or seen it or given some kind of an opinion on what the author has written? Marcia