nother random write

here i am again. writing on writing.com. kills me. ills me makes me wanna cry. i do these free writes because i will become a famous and wealthy writer some day. it just has to happen. that's just where i've got all my marbles. all the cards are stacked. et cetera and so on. just kills me that i'm not there yet. just kills me. makes me wonder. who the heck am i. where am i going. who is my father. is luke my father? is it ben kenobi? who knows. i'll never find the answers to these questions. they never feed me. i can only feed myself. all these things just plain shake me. make me want to quake things. i'm tired. it's 2:30 in the morning. i'm not worth it. it's not worth it. i'll never get this done. i'm just too fat. it doesnt work. it doesnt happen overnight. overnight delivery? no sir. not on this day. not this night. just plain kills me. makes me want to do things differently. makes me want to get over myself rapidly. like flash forward. how about those flash mobs? crazy right? i thought they were cool in friends with benefits but then they turned deadly. just plain wrong is what it is. just plain not cool. how to type. how to write. who am i as a person. i'll never know this. not even the first step. i'll just get caught up in my old traps. again. yet again. nothing quite like it. shew. if anyone rates this i wish them a merry christmas. and a happy new year. shew. my stomach hurts. my head hurts. i just feel like doing what i'm doing. nothing happening nothing going on. living in a rural small town little city area just isn't enough. i'm ready for big city status. i just need somewhere to roam. to invent. to feel free. more and more free. something like that. i guess. i do suppose. i dont capitalize my i's because word does it automatically. and puts apostrophes in there too. it's crazy how the world works. i'll never understand it. not even a little bit. but that's just one way of looking at it.

shew. doggie. nothing wrong with me. nothing going on over here. just plain lilacs and daffodils in the trees. laughing and playing and commiserating. just like blink 182 said. carry me home. haha. man. i really have to use the bathroom. but then again, i really have to sleep. like a ninja. nothing quite like it. makes me wanna go home. find a new home. "caesar is home" said the monkey to james franco. ha. god that movie was good. i hated it though. rise of the planet of the apes. just an overall weird vibe to it. but oh well. peace out homies. i'm done here. nothing left to do. just talking to myself. god knows how fun that is.