Just something I needed to get out

Sitting by myself

Hugging my knees to my chest

I don't want to be here,

So why am I here?



I look around and see that others are clapping

So I do the same

Going through the motions,

so no one will question me



I look around the bleachers,

And see everyone smiling and laughing.

Is it too much to ask?

That I just fit in?



Sure I talk with people,

Sure I laugh with others

Do I really feel involved?

Do they really enjoy my company?



School starts soon,

How will I handle everything?

This is the last year,

That most of the people I associate myself with are here.



How will I get through the next few years?

Should I associate myself with others?

Should I look for somebody to confide in?

I'm better then last year,

and last year was better then the year before.



I just finished a course,

and realized something,

I might have anxiety disorders,

OCD, social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder....



I know that they're common

I know that they're treatable

I don't know if I want the help though

It shapes me to become a better person



I love music,

I love art,

I love sports,

I love people



Just something to share,

Something personal, yet true.

I was majorly depressed,

Then I got better.

I'm a straight B+/A+ student,

I need to get those grades,

It makes me feel better.

This whole piece is something I had to do.

I don't care who reads it,

Just need to let it out.