|I hit the brakes on my car, praying that I didn't skid because of the ice. I took a deep breath, gulping in the oxygen and opened my door. The cold blasted me hard, as I stepped into it. I longed for the warmth of my car but I had to check on the man whose life I almost took. Damn Ryan, I blasted myself, be more considerate, you almost took a human life.
I walked over to him careful of the ice, which was hidden beneath a pile of snow. His blonde hair fell just over his ocean blue eyes. His pink lips were pursed tightly, he must have been mad. "I am so sorry. I didn't see you until it was almost too late! Are you OK?"
"I'm fine, no thanks to you," Something was off, I am pretty good at reading people and this guy was upset about something. "If you had just hit me, I could have been out of this world. I stepped in front of you hoping that I would be killed. But no you selfishly had to go and be a good person and stop your damn car."
He wanted to die? Why would someone feel that hopeless that they wouldn't want to live anymore? I have never understood that mentality. "You have everything to live for. I bet there's a nice girl waiting for you to call her, let her know that you're OK."
"Listen dude, like you, am into guys." I was shocked he knew, most people didn't or at least had the courtesy not to say anything until I did. "My mom and dad caught me fooling around with one of my teachers and kicked me out of the house. Then the man I thought loved me said I couldn't stay with him because his wife was sure to find out about us. My friends don't give a fuck about me, no one does. Now you have gone and ruined my plans to die. I was hoping to have someone else kill me so I didn't have to commit suicide but maybe that’s the only way to get the job done."
Did I try talking him out of it? Or did I leave it be? “Well sorry about that, didn’t mean to ruin your death plans. Let me just go on my merry way and let you get to, whatever it is you need to.” I walked away shaking my head. I wasn’t doing the right thing and I knew it.
Once I reached my car, I started the engine and let the warmth take over my body. Tears clung to my eyes, as I watched the young man walk away, shoulders slumped. I put my car into gear and slowly eased back onto the road, never taking my eyes off him for one second. Finally I drove past him, and into the nearest McDonalds restaurant, and I sat for a minute thinking about that to do.
“My name is Patrick and I am a world class fuck up. Don’t believe me? Just ask my dad, he’ll tell you what a disappointment I am, what a disappointment I have always been. When I was first born I angered them by being a boy instead of the girl they had prepared for, ever since then, nothing I have ever done is right.
Tonight though was stupid even by my standards. I had been dating Mr. Smith for about a semester and a half, and we had kept it really quiet, neither of us wanting to be in the center of a scandal. That is until I decided I needed more from him and asked him for a sexy picture. He sent one to me, and it made me really happy, both emotionally and physically.
I should have locked my door, I should have known better. My dad opened my door and looked away when he seen my pants on the floor by my bed. That would have been the end of it had I not said anything else. Then I told him I needed privacy and that angered him. He grabbed my phone and threw it back down when he seen what I had been looking at. He called me every name he could think of, and told me to get out of his house, and that he wished I had never been born. That makes two of us.
That same car that almost hit me a few minutes ago was driving up now. Maybe he wanted to fool around or something. Who knows what the man was thinking, I mean clearly he wasn’t that smart, he could have killed me and gotten away with it.”
“Hey!” He called to me. His frame was stocky but he looked like he was actually very fit, short but cute. “My name is Ryan and I want to help you.”
“I’m a lost cause! Just let me do what I need to do already!” I was on the bridge; I could feel my cheeks burning from the cold.
“If you jump, nothing will happen. It’s too cold and the water is frozen. I bought you a coffee from McDonalds, drink that and let’s talk about some other options,” I held up the cup and I had to admit it did sound good. I accepted it without thanks and took a big gulp. “Tell me what happened.”
I relayed the story to him as I just did to you. He listened sympathetically and I watched his face. He seemed to actually care about my plight. “So as you can see I am screwed up.”
“Well that’s could be the case or maybe you just need a night away. Why don’t you stay on my couch and tomorrow we can come up with a plan of action for you.”
I agreed, and from that night on, Ryan and I have been he best of friends.
Word Count: 991