I want to live, not just breathe and die

I want to live, not just breathe and die

The stark night looks darker than ever and a deep silence pervades all over the place. Forlorn, it craves for the blithe crowd that accompanies the day, trying to smother its solitude under the mask of vanity. It began me thinking.
Life has changed much since childhood. Days passed like flipped pages of a notebook. The spring time of life flew by with the blink of an eye. I remember an instance when I swallowed an apple seed while gobbling an apple. I had qualms of an apple tree growing in my stomach for months. I wish those unblemished thoughts could persist forever. Life was an adorable story.
Today it seems more of strife than a fascinating expedition. I stand in the midst of a crowd, bewildered where to go. Everyone here seems to be in hurry. No one has time to stop and ponder what exactly they are doing. They all are bold, brilliant and logical. For them, being emotional is as disgraceful as being a convict. You are irrational if you trust the people around you. The irony is you will never be good enough unless you strive to become something that you are not. I fail to understand why. Is it not worthwhile spending life being who you are and doing what you want rather than chasing a dream that does not belong to you and losing your essence for it?
How can you expect contentment and happiness out of such a life? Life is meant to be a blessing. Happiness is not a commodity that can be bought for some amount of money. It comes from within the soul. It comes when you start loving, begin trusting people, taking out time for your real passions, doing something selflessly for others and not traversing a boulevard which takes you away from yourself, not pretending to like someone when you actually don’t, not by being successful and friendless.
Clearly this night would have looked mesmerizing with stars sprinkled over it and the moon shining through. I believe our life is the same, clouded over by misconceptions of practicality. We have lost our true selves in the frenetic race of I don’t know what. What exactly are we running after? I don’t want to be a part of this game where at the end everybody would lose, not only the gamble of life but their souls too.
I want to be doing things that I have always wanted to. I want to believe in the magic of love, I want to live my passions, trust beyond doubts, dream despite failures, dance insanely and make tones of friends. I want to stretch out my arms in the open sky and feel the wind of freedom on my face. I want to live this life, not just breathe and die.