before

Who was I before
(I wonder
now and then).
Was I more than this
or less than most -
a trace of 'might have been'.
Were my lips the same
when spoke your name -
did you hang on every word
or close your ears
(to hide your heart) -
should e'er the truth
be heard.

(I wonder)
when you hold me -
do you feel the same (inside).
A fluttering of osprey
a deep and growing tide -
or something less
(you've lost your way).
A place to be
instead -
hands above the table -
boots beneath the bed.

When offered life -
would just enough
be more than you could bear.
Of love (the same as breathing)
shall grieve for you
(I swear).
Misguided dreams
when nights were long -
forgot the need to pray
for morning light
(returned as love) -
to wash your fears away.

Was nothing
you remember -
but a longing (best ignored).
Surrendered every memory
of who I was
before.