Twice In A Day

“Connie, you’ll be turning forty next week…”

“I know when my birthday is and I know how old I’m gonna be.”

“Well, don’t take this the wrong way, but the sands of time don’t necessarily drift upward.  You need to start thinking about how you’re going to maintain what the good Lord has given you.”

“Oh my gosh!  Did you just call me to talk about the perkiness of my breasts?”

“Your breasts and your butt, dear.  The last time we had lunch I noticed some sagging and your diet … well, it’s questionable at best.”                     
                           
“I seriously cannot believe what I’m hearing!”

“Take it from your mother, Constance.  They way men are … well, you’re gonna have to do all you can to keep Justice interested in you … in that way.”

“I am not having this conversation with you, and would you PLEASE stop using the word ‘well’ in every sentence?  Nothing is WELL with this … this crazy talk!”

“Fine!  Don’t listen to your mother.  Soon enough you’ll see the way he looks at you.  When he looks at you in that way, he’ll start looking the other way too – right at a cheap hussy who knows how to steal another woman’s man.”

“Pearls of wisdom from the great Lou-Ann Rogers!  Today, I’m not that interested.  GOOD-BYE!”

------------------

“Justice, is that you?”

“Yeah …”

“You wouldn’t believe the conversation I had with my mother today …”

“Yes, I would.  You guys have them every week and they usually end with one of you hanging up the phone.”

“You know what would make me feel better – right?”

“That usually involves us undressing each other as we walk to the bedroom.”

“Well … what are you waiting for?  Let’s go!”

“Connie, don’t take this the wrong way, but …”



Word count: 300