Last Night I Dreamed

Last night I dreamed I called in to see Freda.
She was sitting sideways on the sofa
With her feet up
And there was plenty of room for me to sit down.

Last night I dreamed she was chatting to me;
Just normal conversation
With only a few repeats.
She was talking about things which were important to her.

Last night I dreamed her friends were in the house,
Dressed and made-up for a special occasion.
They were going from room to room preparing the house
And in the kitchen they were cooking Christmas dinner.

Last night I dreamed it was strange they were having Christmas in October
And that Freda had escaped from the Care Home
Even though she can’t now walk or talk.
I wondered whether I should still go to pay her Care bill.

Last night I dreamed I didn’t like Freda’s decorations;
They were captive live birds, fluttering to be free.
I climbed up on a stool to help them escape
And Freda watched me without speaking.

Last night I dreamed I woke up crying
Because I suddenly realised my dream was a nightmare;
Freda was having “the lightening”
And soon I would visit her no more.

CPH, 23 October 2011

Author’s Note: In my nursing days, ‘the lightening’ was the name we gave to the time when a patient who was suffering from Confusion or Dementia would be suddenly and mysteriously lucid.
In my memory, the lightening happened around twenty-four hours before the patent died so, while it was a joyful phenomenon because it gave the relatives hope, it was a harbinger of sadness to follow.
During the last seven years, I have watched Freda’s personality shrink to what must be an infinitesimally small fragment inside the empty space which was once her ever-busy brain so I felt grief during this dream but also relief because it was like a foresight of a heaven, where she might once again become the centre of social activities and celebrations among her friends.