The Flush of Success

wc: 528

The Flush of Success

By Jack Rawlins

The first time I wet my pants was the day I got my first pair. Mother thought a precocious little tike like me should be ready for a new outfit by age two. She was, but I wasn't.

I don't blame her for hustling me out of diapers prematurely. I had an extraordinarily powerful stream that expressed itself eloquently whenever she changed me. Although she no doubt was not the first mother to get squirted in the face by her little guy’s geyser, she thought I, as a special child, was trying to indicate displeasure with my attire. At least that's how she rationalized swapping my diaper for itty-bitty pull-downs and a pair of short-short pants.

As I recall--and I'm sure I do so accurately--I was terribly confused by the change. I aced potty training for the big stinky, but I just couldn't grasp (figuratively and literally) the vital connection between me and when and where I should pee.

As an aside, I should add that watching my dad rub our puppy Schotzie’s nose in one of her accidents was an incentive that accelerated my learning curve. I did not want to face the same fate.

I realize now the route of the problem: A soggy diaper I could tolerate. It was far more comfortable than the less wickable combo of drawers within drawers.

I'm afraid I may have raised quite a ruckus when I sensed that my about-to-erupt little Vesuvius
was under new restraints. Mother was philosophical, understanding, and forgiving, but I sensed her frustration as she tore off my dripping new outfit, wiped me down and talc-dusted my bottom.

Again, as I recall with unflagging memory, she put me back into diapers for several more weeks until she could no longer tolerate eruptions of what she dubbed "Young Faithfull." During that same period, I noted that she spent a lot of time on the computer researching the subject of “Potty Training.”

I learned later that The Mayo Clinic’s advice had a big impact on her approach. They advised, that “Potty training success hinges on physical and emotional readiness, not a specific age. Many kids show interest in potty training by age 2, but others may not be ready until age 2 1/2 or even older. And there's no rush. If you start potty training too early, it may only take longer.”

Thus, when once more determined to give a go to my going, she approached it with her usual gusto.

Under her loving guidance, the trauma of transition left no permanent damage. I learned to cope with the new challenge better than I had the first time. Her enthusiastic "Good boy!" when my timing and aim improved speeded my learning process. So, too, did my introduction to the flush handle.

Flushing was an entitlement that gave me control over what we euphemistically called my “business.”

In retrospect, the whole episode had a lasting impact on my life and choice of a professional career. I’m a counselor who specializes in potty training. My long list of clients refer to me (affectionately, I hope) as Dr. Poo.

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