Lesson 6, First review

ID: 1822556   (Rated: E) The Pretenders  Choose your friends wisely by Alex

Review of Pretenders

         Unmistakably, this is from the heart. My impression of "Pretenders" is that each line rings true, and I like it.

         The overall tone reveals that subject has grown in wisdom that has made a dramatic effect upon him. My understanding of mood is the emotional impact of the writing. Your poem's mood is that of disappointment. The subject, by experiencing false friends and their rejection in times of need, has created disapointment in h/her.

         The first and last lines rhyme and the second and third lines rhyme. Well done; they are rhythmatic, and they flow well without using force. Your word choice does not hinder the meaning of the poem.

         The rhythm is ok, but the syllable count isn't even. The second and third lines, though creating an attractive appearance on the paper, contain more syllables than the others, but small revisions would improve the syllablic count. The second and third lines would work better if they read something as:

True friends will stick with you through thick and thin

Though the pretenders run from you to save their own skin

         Making wise changes to the second and third lines would reduce a need to slow down during reading but induce a continuous flow that would match, more closly, the pattern of the rest of your work. By making the syllable count of each line more constant the readability becomes smoother. This is termed the:meter of the poem.

         Your theme resounds loudly: Be sure you know who are with you and who aren't.

         There aren't any spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors.

chip

Great work

         Thank you for permitting me to evaluate your poem. Keep writing.