Simian the Gatekeeper

Simian the Gatekeeper – Prompt # 3 Word count: 2,628

Gatekeeper Simian was not thrilled when he heard the gate bell ringing. He was already seated by the fire with his favorite Book of the Dead which was given to him personally by the great Hades himself.

“Who by Styx can it be at this hour?” he said to the robotic cat sprawled on the soft human-skin carpet. “I’m talking to you, you lazy, no good imitation of the late Cerberus. He was a man among hounds, and you are the image of a stray feline who fell in love with a hound. Why am I wasting my time with you? Go to the gate and see who dares disturb the Gatekeeper at this time of gloom.”

Patri didn’t take offense. Accustomed to old Simian’s outbursts, he paid no mind to the insult. Simian had been infamous among all apes serving under Hades, for being hot tempered and insolent. His words were empty bubbles, especially when he’d been disturbed in mid-reading of his Book. Patri stretched his back, wiggled his tail and went out to check the uninvited visitor.

The gate was a work of art. To distinguish it from the main gate at the entrance to the Underworld, Hades had it fashioned as a shark’s open mouth and used animal bones to construct it. He managed to steal an entire shark’s carcass from a beach in the Upper world and used the open mouth, teeth and all, as the passageway of the gate. Impressive, he thought, admiring the rows of sharp teeth.

One lantern, posted on a pile of skulls scattered its yellow light in the small immediate circle. The single flame had cast long shadows on the gate, giving the shark’s jaws a sense of movement which was only an illusion, of course. A silhouette of a human person materialized all of a sudden at the gate, motionless and silent. He wore a black cape and used the hood to conceal his face.

Patri was a feline-robotic, proud in the stories spread about his heritage. They said Hades had ordered a robotic shaped to look like the famous Cerberus, but since no one had an image of him, the robotic was fashioned after one of the cats which lived at liberty in the underworld. Patri ended up looking like a giant cat, only hairless. He didn’t give a coin about what he looked like, as long as he could serve at the gate.

His non-existing fur was on his mind when he examined the stranger at the gate. Once his eyes transmitted what it was he saw, a chill went through him and his metal bearings made a screeching noise. That person at the gate was in the wrong place, at gloom time. His aura was positive which made Patri think of rich food and warm shelter.

Patri shook his head vigorously, to rid his disposition of the ancient earthly sentiments. He knew it was some sort of suggestive trick and suspected the visitor had neither a legitimate pass nor any business in the Undead region.

“By the name of Hades, state your business or forever hold your tongue!” His voice had a musical resonance to it, going up the high notes when he was excited. The stranger didn’t move, only his head turned toward Patri and one hand shoved the hood backwards.

Patri stared at him. What he saw was an impossible phenomenon. The intruder was none of those Patri knew well. He was an apparition from another dimension, perhaps an emissary sent by one of the angels from the Higher Palaces.

His head was nothing but a blob of heavy black smoke which swirled like a ball keeping the two sparkling green eyes at the front. The eyes had black irises with red pupils at their center. A frightening sight by all standards.

The systematic laws of nature didn’t work in the underworld the same way they worked in the world of the living, yet there were defined order and semblance in the depth of Hell. The Dead were ghosts, translucent figures, with no material substance to their name. They could not leave the Underworld unless so ordered by Hades, and even then, they could not physically harm anyone.

The Undead were a different story all together. They were souls who could not appease Hades for one reason or another. They were doomed to wander between the worlds until their task had been completed. Some of them were the Damned ones, those cursed by mighty wizards, and had to watch helplessly how their beloved families suffered for their misgivings. Those were the most dangerous creatures in the land of the Undead.

Patri quivered. This visitor was not someone he wanted to deal with. I must get the Gatekeeper at once, he thought . This is beyond my powers.

He lifted his head as high as it could go and emitted a loud shriek, a strange combination of a cat’s yowling and a hound’s barking. It did the trick every time - the Gatekeeper came running.

One must not miss the sight of Simian trying to move with speed. As he too was robotic, his metal joints, thousands of years old, hardly allowed him the free agile jumps of the living apes. His once flexible arms and legs were rusty and corrosive, forcing him to use the Great Key as a cane. In short, his running days were over. He walked slowly, surrounded by living cats that were his companions. He carried an extra lantern with him, for his eyesight was poor and the sole lantern at the gate did not provide enough light.

“What have we here?” he said in his thickened voice. “Not one of Gabriel’s boys, are you? I haven’t seen the likes of you in a thousand years… Hmm… As a matter of fact, not since this gate was constructed. He sniffed the air a couple of times and used his large key to poke the visitor.

The sphere of smoke which represented the person’s head stopped turning. A pair of giant eyes took over the head. They seemed to be suspended in mid-air, with nothing connecting them to the body. A long thin arm reached out towards the Gatekeeper and fine pointed claws grabbed at his coat.

Simian tried to step back but those horrifying eyes held him firmly in place. He had no choice but to look into them.

Red pupils… Red pupils… Where have I seen those pupils..? It was long ago… Before the gate was built…I wonder if Patri will remember. He’s younger, and cats remember better than apes… “I beg your pardon, what did you say? Speak up or forever hold your tongue!” said Simian.

Nervous Patri whispered, “I tried to tell him that before, Master Gatekeeper. It didn’t work.”

“Why by Hades do you whisper? You don’t want to rouse the dead?”

Simian loved a good joke and often made them up himself. But at that moment, nothing seemed to be funny. A strange creature stood at HIS gate, silent as a lantern post, not speaking or stating his intentions. And most annoying, the creature had those awful clutches driven deep into his fine leather coat.

The situation called for plan B. Paragraph 666 in the Book of Admissions to the Land of the Undead stated that he, the Gatekeeper, could use his judgment to solve a problem and/or summon for help.

Calling upon Hades was not a practical idea; Hades has booze and partying on his mind and always sends young Lucifer to stand in for him. And that was the problem. Lucifer was a dimwit who couldn’t solve his own problems, let alone public issues. Simian decided to handle the matter himself. The worst would be a complaint in case the visitor had friends in high places.

He motioned to Patri to come closer and whispered in his ear a set of rapid orders. Patri nodded and left the gate area in a hurry.

The visitor still had his claws pinned in Simian’s coat. His wild eyes blinked twice and then the other bony arm reached to the lantern posted at the gate. He tapped on its glass with his claws. In an instant, the dim light turned to an intensive blaze. The gate and everything around it glowed in a thousand colors, carried forth through the prism of the glass. Simian had to shade his eyes, so bright was the light.

A distant noise caught Simian’s attention. Listening, he knew what it was and rubbed his pointed chin. Patri has brought the cavalry; composed of small by size members, but collectively a vicious fighting machine. Simian couldn’t remember the last time these means of defense were used. The Underworld was not a place anyone would want to invade or conquer, neither was the Undead Land, unless someone wished to rescue an undead person, which was a stupid wish since the undead could not be resurrected.

The visitor seemed to be preoccupied with something other than Simian. he retracted both hands and his eyes returned to their smaller size. He stood by the lantern and waited. Simian tried once more to talk to him but to no avail.

Simian heard thousands of small running feet getting nearer every minute. He indeed loved them, those sweet, soft cuddly felines. They could live only in the Undead land and were the only living creatures in the entire complex of the Underworld. Simian never regretted asking Hades to give him the two small living kittens he had with him, and was grateful for his comic abilities which convinced him to let the cats stay with him at the Undead Land. As cats normally do, they multiplied by the thousands and became the favorable pets of prominent Undead persons.

They marched into the Gate circle, row after row of cats in all shapes, colors and sizes. Leading them was Patri, the robotic cat who kept yelling his orders as if overseeing drilling exercises.

Now, what? wondered Simian feelings already tired. He never thought it might take so long when Patri called upon his intervening. At his age, rest was mandatory. If the creature doesn’t cooperate, I’ll have him sent to the dungeons. A couple of hours with the skeletal lunatics will loosen his tongue.

Patri came to stand near him, wiggling his metal tail. With pride he looked at the cats and for the first time in years felt there was a reason why he was stationed at the gate. “Master Gatekeeper, what are your orders?”

Simian motioned him to be quiet and said to the visitor, “Now see here Mr. Big Eyes, You’ve said absolutely nothing since your arrival. I can’t let you in without a written order signed by Hades. If entering is not on your mind, what is?” I’m running out of patience and our cats will soon be bored and would want to play with you…”

“Oh, yeah, the cats… They are what I’m here for!” The visitor’s voice was rich and deep, quite pleasant to the ears.

“You can speak!” said Patri in wonder. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“I had no need to say anything until now.”

Simian said in a strict voice, “But you’ve said nothing yet, visitor; Neither who you are nor what it is you came for.”

“True, true… Why jump the horse before the cart? The subjects of my visit were not here so I waited until they were rounded up. Now I can state my business.”

Simian looked at him with suspicion. Horse before the cart? What was he talking about? Who was rounded up? He’s going to be a handful, this creature.

“Now, look here Ol’ chap, I am the personal envoy of the C.A.D.A run by the Lord Opossum. His views concerning keeping animals in the Land of the Undead had been noted down in history. Hades had broken the common laws and now is the time to pay his debts.”

“Debts? Hades owes you something? Who is Lord Opossum? And what is that C.A.D.A thing you’ve mentioned?”

“Easy, old ape. Not so fast. My organization is called The Community of All Dead Animals. As was decided when the world was created, each gender had their own underworld. Humans were not to mix with animals. As you well know, apes and felines inhabit this place. Today I’m here to collect every single cat in the land of the Undead and transfer them to their rightful place, among animals. As you can see, you made my work easy for me – they are already here, around the gate

“Easy, old ape. Not so fast. My organization is called The Community of All Dead Animals. It was decided when the world was created, each gender had their own underworld. Humans were not to mix with animals. As you well know, there are apes here and felines. Today I’m here to collect every single cat in this land and transfer them to their rightful place, among animals. As you can see, you made my work easy for me – they are already here, around the gate

Angry, Patri wiggled his tail and said, “you can’t take our cats out of here. They serve as first line of defense against any threat at the gate.” He didn’t sound like his old self and after a short pause, he added, “Does a robotic cat count as feline?”

The visitor’s eyes brightened and a strange gurgle came out of his head. This is how he laughs, the poor thing… Thought Simian, but he wanted to hear the answer nonetheless.

“Unfortunately, being a robotic is not the problem. You are of mixed ancestry and the hound thoughts implanted in you are dangerous. You see, there had never been anywhere in this world a breed of cat/dog. We know nothing about it. Sorry, you’ll have to stay here.”

Simian’s mind worked at high volumes. This is my chance to get out of here, his thoughts spun in his head. An eternity sentence at the Gate… Now is the time to escape!

Careful as not to blow this once in a million years opportunity; in the calmest voice he could muster, he said, “I can help you control these thousands of cats. They know me and obey my orders. What say you? Will your leaders be willing to employ an experienced old ape as overseer of the cats?” Simian’s eyes were on the visitor, praying silently for a positive answer.

Patri was shocked. It had never occurred to him that Simian was fed up with the Undead Land. If he goes, I might be appointed Gatekeeper. That would be awesome!

“It is fine with me to employ an old simian such as yourself,” said the visitor, weighing each word he said. “Gatekeeper, delegate authority to your second in command and let’s move out of here!”

A wide smile brightened Simian’s face. He turned to Patri and said in a solemn voice, “Do you swear to keep the laws of the Undead Land and serve as Gatekeeper?”

Patri felt an enormous wave of satisfaction and joy. His life gained meaning and the coveted title will be his, forever more! Then he tried to hug the old Gatekeeper, to thank him for taking the journey with the cats and leaving him in charge. However, there was a small issue of size difference, so he gave it up but reached for the giant key that symbolized the status of the honorable position. As soon as he held it in his mouth, dangling joyously and nearly touching the ground, he turned away from the gate and walked deliberately towards the main household.

The visitor looked at the quiet rows of cats. They stood motionless, not even blinking. It didn’t matter to them where they stayed and couldn’t care less who ordered them to be moved. Only one cat was curious enough. He stepped forward saying, “Sir, why are we being moved? Who cares about a bunch of living/Undead cats?”

“That’s a very good question, soldier,” said the visitor. “I’ll tell you the truth. Once when I was still with the living, my grandpa gave me two kittens – a male and a female. I loved them dearly and let them sleep in my bed. One night my Grandpa passed away, and the Lord of Death who came for him needed a gift for Hades. Guess what he took from my room…

Word count (without title): 2,628

Hanna 31st October 2011