The Declaration of Spin Dependence

Note: This poem was an entry for the Humorous Poetry Contest. To view the contest rules, click on Contest Rules:

The Humorous Poetry Contest

I enjoy a poem that makes me laugh!  After doing a search for the 'Comedy' newsletter, it was obvious we needed some fresh ones!  I may not write poetry, but I get a kick out of reading a funny one! So, get busy and write a humorous one and enter it here!

  Round One: 
Newsletter challenge from: "The Funny Side of Poetry"

No prompt

One newly written entry only

Any type of poetry--make sure it's humorous!

Rating up to 13+

Maximum line count: 30

Editing allowed up until the deadline.

Deadline: November 13th @ 11:59PM WdC time

"The Humorous Poetry Contest" 

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The Declaration of Spin Dependence

By Indelibleink

Political discord is such a common thing,
Making it - some nights - very hard for me to sleep. 
In my head late last night a loud bell did it ring,
Caught me off-guard; normally, I block out that... (bleep).
Convinced that sometimes it's the company you keep,
And not just how, but should I say who contemplates...
Your future, and friend, rest assured I don't come cheap:
I'm the next President of the United States.

The pachyderms and asses both fight to be king,
Yet, when they arrive there, you hear nary a peep.
But come election time man, those birds, how they sing,
Campaign promises? Wow, does it ever get deep!
But me, I'm different, and what riches we'll reap,
Choose me, and watch as I impact all of your fates...
You see, I'm not just any ordinary creep:
I'm the next President of the United States.

Many new ideas to the table I'll bring,
First and foremost - a really hot female veep.
Of course when my wife finds out my ears will then sting,
After which a court summons may cause me to weep.
What if out of the closets the rumors do seep,
And out come the slingers with mud on super-sized plates?
I'll bribe each one with fifties stacked high in a heap:
I'm the next President of the United States.

In closing my friends, like the car horn which goes beep,
Upon your ears, the Republemocrat name grates.
'Til I need your vote, go take a big flyin' leap:
I'm the next President of the United States.

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Lines: 28

Author's Note: This politically-motivated effort inspired by "The Ballade and Anapestic Tetrameter"