Headingley 1990

A schoolboy stopped me in the street.
He said: “Are you married?”
I said:  “No.”
He said:  “Do you have children?”
I said:  “No.”
He looked disappointed.
He was doing a survey for a lesson at school.
He needed some answers to share with his classmates.

I said:  “I can answer it about my Mum.  Will that do?”
He smiled.
He said:  “How many children did your mother have?”
I said:  “Seven”
And he wrote it down.
He asked questions, all sorts of questions,
They were mostly about housework.

My mother did it all:
She washed, cleaned, shopped and cooked.
She wrote letters, cards and filled in forms.
She painted, wall-papered, paid bills and made clothes,
She mended, ironed and organised.
And she supervised her children.

My dad brought in money, kept hens and grew vegetables
He made wine and wooden things, and did repairs.
My mother did the rest.
Our house was clean, dry and warm,
We always had food and our friends were always welcome.

“Your mother was very busy,” the boy said
And I agreed.
It was the first time I’d thought about it.
It was the first time I’d noticed how much work she’d had to do.
It was the first time I’d thought about the life she’d given up.

I was thirty-five years old and I’d never thanked my mother.
I had never noticed who had done the necessary deeds.
I was thirty-five years old and I’d never once said thank you
For her love and her devotion and the sacrifice that needs.

I was thirty-five years old and I’d never noticed once
That she’d given up her pleasures and her hopes and long-gone dreams.
I was thirty-five years old and I’d never thanked her once.
I’m a mother now myself and so I know what those words mean.

Mother, I wish I’d noticed how your life revolved around us.
Mother, I wish I’d helped you when you barely coped alone.
Mother, I wish I’d understood your thwarted life’s ambitions.
Mother, I wish I’d known your work in giving us a home.

But I didn’t and I couldn’t and I wish to thank you now.

I pray to God that you agree
You should have been thanked, years ago, by me.
I pray to God, yet I hesitate,
Because all these words may have come too late.