I Don't Know

I’m not dying
but I’m dying to get away from him
A brief reprieve is all I need
Is all I want
I don’t know what I want half the time
Half the time I love him
and I love to hate him

That proverbial thin line is an understatement
My patience is wearing thin
His thin body I envy; I lost my girlish figure long ago
It won’t be long before we’re laughing again
but again I yearn to cry
Crying will only intensify my migraine at the moment
It only takes a moment to die
Dying would set me free
But that freedom’s price is eternal confinement
My confinements rest wrapped around a finger
He points a finger at me; I take over when he’s through
I’m through beating myself up
Uplifted were my spirits way back when

“You’re not this way,” they say; then what am I?
I’m not dying to get away from him
I’m simply dying