Santa Claus and Saudi Arabia

        "Oh, poppa I want a brand new car. So, I can drive to the Wal-Mart.
        I am so tired of taking a cab or having a male relative escort me.
        I am a grow woman of marital age, 13 years old. Can I have a Porsche?"
        Zuleika pleaded with her father on her hands and knees.

        "Are you crazy? Do want to be raped? My daughter any woman who
        drives is a whore! She is asking for sex from strange men. You must
        never leave my home alone!" Potiphar's voice echoed through their
        apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y.

        "Ho-Ho-Ho!" Santa Claus exclaimed and popped into the little Saudi home.

        "Santi Claus! Zuleika jumped to her feet and clapped her hands and
        danced around the jolly old Saint Nick. "What the Hell are you doing here?"
        Potiphar pressed his finger into Santa Claus's chest.

        "I am everywhere! I am the spirit of Christmas present! Ho-Ho-Ho!"
        Santa laughed and his belly shook like a bowl full of jelly. "Get the Hell out
        of here we are Muslim!" Potiphar shoved Santa.

        "Now-now I've come bearing gifts! Santa handed Zuleika a key to a Porsche.
        "Oh Santa! Zuleika jumped about and hugged Santa. "Hey! That's my
        daughter! You don't tell her what she can have!" Potiphar got his base ball
        bat and threatened Santa.

        "This is a time of giving. And I must go now. There are many more children
        for me to visit. Ho-Ho-Ho!" Santa waved at the furious Potiphar and
        flew out the window to his slay pulled by eight reindeer.

        Potiphar threw the Porsche key at Santa. It fell to the street below.
        A little Philoppian family spotted the key. "Hey! Mister is this yours?
        the tiny mom bellowed. "It's my gift to you! Take the Porsche!"
        Portiphar shouted back. "Okay!" the tiny mom laughed and her tiny
        family hopped inside the Porsche and waved as she floored it.

        "Oh, poppa!" Zuleika cried into her pea soup. "Eat your soup!" her
        father growled.

        "On Nixon on Blitzen!" Santa exclaimed as his red slay flew away,
        "Merry Christmas to all! And to all a goodnight!"


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