Zoo Buddies

WC 834

Zoo Buddies

By Jack Rawlins

“What's Leonard roaring about now?' sighed Rambo the elephant.

“He' s ticked off about the snow that's coming ,” answered Adriane the giraffe.

“What snow? It doesn't snow here,” answered Rambo with an all-inclusive sweep of his trunk.

“You ...you, with the big floppy ears... you didn't hear? They're trucking in 80 tons of snow today.”

“What in the world of all that's zoological! Trucking it in for what?” asked Rambo

“The Santa Barbara Zoo's Snow Leopard Festival, dummy. A fun- time for kids, mommies and other mammals. Rambo, don't you remember last year's festival?”

“Oh, course I do. Elephants never forget!”

“Do, too. You completely forgot about last year's festival. Admit it.”

“No, Adriane, my long necked friend.... I didn't forget. I blocked it out of my mind. It was too painful to remember-- and now you've brought it all back. Oh, I do remember it well.

“First I got frost bite on the tender tip of my sensitive trunk. I had a chapped lip tip for months.Then a mouse scurried up inside my trunk to get warm; and then I got a wicked stiff neck from holding my head high all day. Had to keep my trunk curled up to keep it from getting packed with snow.

“That was a funny sight , Rambo! You looked like a big gray pretzel”

“Well, at least I only look freaky under duress. You, on the other hand, my gangly gal,.always look like a freak. But, I digress. Who told you about the snow, and why is The King of Beasts disturbing the peace with that nasty roar?”

“Our vet, Dr. Seuss,clued me it was coming when I got my flu shot. And as for Lenny, he's upset because he knows they're bringing in the snow just for Samantha and Samuel, the snow leopards. He says they're a couple of over-furred phonies.”

“That's rather unkind, don't you think, my dear?” said, Rambo.” I'm no zoologist...just a guest here like the rest. But I know snows are rather shy. They're not used to the prying eyes of people .Come from the high mountains of Asia, you know. Don't see many visitors up there, I imagine.”

“Well. Rambo, I happen to think Lenny is right. Those cats act just like those pampered pandas, we coddle here ; They never get out and mingle with the rest of us--.or one another from what I hear.

“Look,Rambo, my mighty pachyderm, “she continued.”We're in a zoo, for Godzilla’s sake. People come to gape,ape,stare,marvel,make fun-- and yeah,sometimes tease. But we are here to please.

“Really, it's a rather noble calling, don't you agree? And those two cats are always off by themselves.”

“Adriane,my long neck friend,” replied Rambo. “You've been nibbling too many fermented eucalyptus leaves. You've got your head in the clouds. And you've got a short memory about the last snow. But I don't.

“I remember, with your long legs that last big snow never even tickled your navel. And I remember why Lenny had his mane in a knot. Every time he took a step he sunk in up to his crotch and he froze his goodies all day. And what really ticked him off, those big-footed snow-leapers padded around on that fluffy stuff like 'you -know- who,' walking on water. That really hurt his pride. They were so embarrassed they snubbed him for a week..

“But , Rambo, Lenny shouldn't blame the snow leopards just because they have feet like snowshoe rabbits.”

“But there's more to it than that, Adriane. They were voted “Cutest Couple” and featured on the Zoo's calendar. It's tough to be King when you're up against cute. They get all the good publicity.”

“I can't argue with you, big guy. I just happen to---Oh, hippo poo!” snapped Adriane, who had long range vision and was always on top of things. “Three dump trucks full of snow just entered the main gate!”

“Only, three?” snorted Rambo.”I think I'll go flip them over just for the hell of it. And when the drivers jump out, I'll ask Lenny to come over, roar hello and give them a friendly eating.”

“Rambo, you're kidding, right?”

“Yeah, I'm kidding. And I really would like to see the the snows come out to socialize.

“So now ,I'm going to lumber to a high dry spot where I can watch the monkeys build a comical, anatomically correct snowman. They'll do it while the snow leopards frolic and Lenny gets frosted again. Meanwhile all who aren't endowed with stilts for legs will flounder in the fluff until it all turns to slush. Then, everybody goes home except us— because we already are home.

“And you?”

“I'll just stand tall and watch it all,” said Adriane.

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