Changes

                                 
                                                    Changes


    The cool October morning in 1965 was an early indicator of what fall had in store for Bridgeport Connecticut that year.  Ronnie was on her way to her first day of work for the Selective Service System without any idea of what to expect.  She had not met any of the office staff, and found it a bit unnerving walking into the office that morning for the first time. She took a deep breath, and opened the door.

    Standing before her, was a slender young woman with a stack of file folders in her arms.  She was about the same age as Ronnie and had a warm smile.  Her auburn hair was piled on top of her head in a knot but that did not disguise the fact that she was very attractive. Ronnie's immediate thought was this could not possibly be the one I am supposed to report to, she is too young.

    "Good morning, how may I help you?"

    " Good morning, I am Ronnie, and I have been directed to report to Suzanne to begin my new job here by Col Martinson."

    "Oh yes, I am the office manager, my name is Suzanne.  I've been expecting you."

    Ronnie extended her hand, and without being obvious, scanned her new office at the same time with a third eye.  Clearly the place was beyond dated.  The building had been around before the turn of the twentieth century.  It smelled like an old library. The desks were large and wooden and looked as if they had been there since the beginning of time.  Each had a gray Underwood typewriter sitting off to the side on a pull out shelf.  On the back wall behind the desks, were two huge windows that ran from the top of the 10-foot ceilings to the very worn wooden floor below.  Two bars went across the width of each window, to prevent anyone from falling out and down the three stories.  None of these antiquities discouraged Ronnie.  She was just so excited to have her first government job, and nothing was going to discourage her on that morning.

      An office worker was sitting off to the side at a third desk, typing away and completely ignoring Ronnie's entrance and conversation.  Sue introduced her to Ronnie as Sharon. Sharon barely lifted her eyes.  She was busy biting her lip and typing up a storm. It was as though she could not have cared less about anybody else being there.  These three girls made up the entire staff of Local Board 16.

      It was not long before Ronnie understood how someone as young as Sue could be the office manager.  Sue knew her job well and had a thorough understanding of government policy and The Selective Service System.  She was a good teacher and an excellent manager.  She taught Ronnie the ins and outs of her new job at the Draft Board and had what seemed to Ronnie a complete absence of ego. As a boss, Sue was easy to talk to and not the least bit intimidating.  Ronnie had found a home.

    That office was a hub of activity with the Viet Nam War in full swing.  There were so many different duties to perform it often felt overwhelming.  Monthly lists of men,  had to be assembled for examination and forwarded to the nearby Physical station in New Haven, for determination of their acceptability to class 1A, making them acceptable for active duty.  Also monthly, were the young men who passed their physical and were leaving for basic training.  The three girls would alternate each month going to the Railroad Station to see the boys off, and giving each of them a "ditty bag," which held shaving gear, toothbrush and paste and plastic Rosary Beads.  The local Jewish Synagogue had a representative show up for these departures to give each recruit a gift. The girls regularly commented on the poor man's breath when getting back to the office.  It became standard office fodder.

    Each month that board of six members had their monthly board meeting. The Board was made up of local businessmen who sat in judgment of the young men who came into the local draft board, in hopes of getting a deferment from active duty. One of the most popular requests for that period of time was that of a Conscientious Objector.  That was one, who because of his personal belief was unable in good conscience to serve in the military.  It was always interesting, if not amazing at times, to hear the members try to determine whether these young men were sincere or just trying to avoid serving in the military.

    Ronnie and Sue worked well together those first months.  Each was aware of their job, but not crossing the unmarked line of demarcation with regard to boss and employee.  Sue found Ronnie to be a hard worker and a quick study for all the red tape that came with the job.  Ronnie had a great deal of respect for Sue and never felt intimidated under her tutelage.  Both of these young women shared a good work ethic and recognized it in one another.

    After the first of the year, their office was scheduled for additional training.  It was offered to the office manager and one of her staff, and was to be held at Service Headquarters in Hartford, CT.  It would be a full day of classes and introductions to the hierarchy of immediate supervisors.

    Ronnie felt privileged that she was chosen to go with Sue in spite of the fact that Sharon, the other girl in the office, had been there longer than she had.  She was also anxious to meet the people who they worked directly under.  Her anxiety was the result of knowing they were all military, with big titles in front of their names, but Sue did a good job of setting her mind at ease.

    "Just remember, they are all life time military and middle aged. Their only concern is that we keep this office running like a fine tuned clock. I have always gotten along with them and I find they really know their stuff."

    Sue shared this information with Ronnie in the hopes of making her feel less anxious as the day of training approached.

    The morning of their Hartford Meeting the girls met at the train station early, and settled into their seats as the ride began.  It was a beautiful sunny winter day and both women were in a state of excitement that day.  Most of their glee was because it got them out of the office for the day.  For Sue, it was a particular thrill, because she had never been on a train ride before.  She came from a small town in Maine, and till now, never had reason to travel by train.  Ronnie was familiar with train travel, having come from New York as a youngster, so she had been riding trains all her life.

    "Sue, what is Col Martinson really like?" He seems so friendly on the phone.

    "He really is, but do not be fooled by his demeanor.  He carries a big stick and has a lot of clout.  Just be yourself and don't say too much and you will be fine.  He likes you and is looking forward to the meeting.  Don't get me wrong Ronnie.  He can be a real hard ass, but I do like him."

    Till now, these girls never really got to know much about one another's personal life.  Their office was far to busy, and chat was not part of their workday.  They were both newly married; so today they had a great deal in common to talk about.  There were sisters in law, mothers in law and all the politics of getting along with new extended families.  They also each had new apartments and furnishings, and each was on their own for the first time, leaving them no shortage of conversation.

    They chatted on with ease for a while, and then they sailed right into the rough water of discussing babies.  Both girls were of a common mind regarding their fears and apprehension about having children.  Sue talked about her very large family of brothers and sisters.  There were thirteen in total.  She knew what it was, to try to survive in a family without a great deal of money to get all the things that children needed.  Ronnie came from a family of five children and she too knew about doing without, and what difficulties her parents had to deal with in order to get all of them into adulthood.  Each girl found conversation came very easy that morning.

    "The real question is Sue, how do you know when the time is right?  How do you know when your husband is ready to take that step and be mature enough to deal with fatherhood?  For that matter, how do we know when we are ready for the big step to maturity?"

    “Damned if I know Ronnie.  I am not sure I ever want to even try to find out.  I may never have kids at all."

    "Oh my God, Sue, I thought I was the only one who felt that way."

        With that statement, a friendship, which neither of them expected, was born. They found a common thread, which they shared, and the result was an instant friendship.  They went to the meetings that morning and on return trip home that late afternoon, they talked like they had been friends for years.  When they got back to their jobs the next day, something had changed.  There was now a bond between them that did not exist before that train ride.

      Neither Ronnie nor Sue was married to men who were easy to live with.  Both of these men were strong willed and each of them having an innate love of fishing.  When they decided to get together socially for the first time, it turned out that their husbands got along as well as the girls did. This worked out for the girls.  Now spending time together would be an easy endeavor on weekends as long as there was beer for the guys they never complained. They began spending time together as friends as well as couples.

    Ronnie shared her family with Sue.  There were parties and dinners.  The parties often included Ronnie's brother Jim and his wife Sue.    One night there was a dinner party at Sue's house and she forgot to make desert.    The three couples piled into one car and went to the grocery store to buy My T Fine chocolate pudding in a box because that was what was unanimously voted on.  They cooked it up and all sat around eating it hot out of the pot with gobs of whipped cream. It was great fun and just one more memory of a special event for these two women. 

  They shared their holidays as well.  Sue’s closest family members lived four hours away by car so Ronnie's family became Sue's family and they spent this time together.  On the day before Christmas the girls would make an appointment to get their hair done then they would have a wonderful lunch after which they shopped for something to wear on Christmas Eve.  They spent Christmas Eve between both of their apartments and then the next day on to Ronnie's parent's home to culminate the day with her big Italian family and plenty of Italian food.

    They took a lunch once a week from work and would not eat but just shop Woolworth’s five and dime, which was in the same neighborhood as their office, looking for bargains and thoroughly enjoying their time away from the office.

        There was a strange tall thin man who walked through the store with his baby carriage filled with bags and a small American flag flying off an antenna attached to the stroller.  He had a constant smile on his face and walked all around town loving life. He went out of his way to avoid people in his walk.  The girls figured out that he was afraid of people. Ronnie and Sue drove this poor man crazy when they came upon him in a store.  They saw him coming.  They split up and took both sides of the aisle so he had nowhere to go to escape them and they watched as this poor guy worked himself into a state of panic. The girls would laugh so hard they cried.  It was not a nice thing to do but one was as bad as the other in not leaving this unfortunate man alone.  This was just one more way these two girls entertained one another with their antics all the time. There were two large senses of humor on the rise.

    There was a dentist’s office down the hall from their office and he would periodically get office supplies delivered and left outside his door.  Sue came in with a sleeve of paper cups one day that she picked up from the dentist's supplies and her office was out of them.  She intended paying him back for them but wanted to have some fun with the girls in the office, because their office was out of them.  Ronnie loved the idea.  The other girl in the office, Sharon, was horrified by what she thought the other two had done. 

    When there was a lull in the office and things got quiet, which was not very often, one of the girls would bring in large temple oranges.  Sue and Ronnie had the desks that backed up to those large windows without screens that were directly behind each desk.  The girls would sit there with their feet up on the windowsill and eat their oranges and spit the pits out of the window.  The street below the windows was fairly quiet and a bus stop was the only thing there. If anyone were walking by would get hit with the pits even if they looked up, they could not see these two devils sitting and creating mischief.     

    As time went by their friendship blossomed like a spring flower.  They became closer and closer.  There was not a crisis that one would go through without needing their friend to share it with.

    After two years Sue's husband had a temporary transfer to Dayton, Ohio and Ronnie took over Sue's job as manager. The girls were in constant touch by phone.    Sue came back a year later, and now Ronnie was her boss and nothing changed. There was never a bit of envy between them.  They had complete respect for each other.  Before long when Sue returned, Ronnie became pregnant.  She carried the baby for four months and then miscarried and the pregnancy ended. Ronnie's  husband called Sue, her best friend. Sue was the first and only person Ronnie wanted with her as she went through one of the worst times in her life.

    Sue sat with her for hours as Ronnie cried tears that seemed to never end.  The pain of loss was felt not by one but by two women who shared everything.  When the day winded down and Sue was leaving she had one final comment to her friend as she walked out the door.

  “I would not have done that for anyone else in this world.  I pray I never have to do it again”
    Ronnie could not have been more grateful for her friendship.

        Within the year Sue's husband was transfered once again, this time to California and they were going to be transferring their lives to the west coast.  A mutual friend told Sue and Ronnie, not to expect the friendship to survive with 3000 miles between them.  It was noble to think they could do it, but it would never happen.  There was no way they could keep it alive over the years was what they were told.

      They laughed at that possibility.  Neither of them was willing to give up on their friendship.  Each of these women was aware that what they had could not be wiped away by years or miles. So, Suzanne and her husband moved away.

    Each woman had many life experiences that they would go though without their dear friend being across town. There would be one child born to each of them.  Sue had marriage go bad and Ronnie shared the heartache over the phone.  Sue made visits back across the country numerous times.  She was Godmother for Ronnie's only daughter, and she was there for her wedding 22 years later.    Sue lost both her parents and Ronnie shared in her grief over the phone and they cried together.    Ronnie's brother Jim died and it was as though her life was over.  There was no way that Sue would ever let that happens.  Once again Sue pulled her back into life kicking and screaming but she got the job done.  Ronnie survived and their friendship only grew stronger.

    There were phone calls that went on for hours.  They talked through every crisis and cried till emotions were quelled for each of them whenever needed.  Time went on and before either of them knew it thirty-five years have passed by and a fabric has been woven which is indestructible for these two women.  Had it not been for what each of them brought to this relationship neither of them could have made their life’s journey half of what it has been.

        That morning in October turned out to be one of the key dates in both of their lives.  Neither of them has dreamed just how important they would become to each other on that fateful day  The gift was their's.  A special package that they both treated with gratitude and respect.  They both continue to hold that dream that one day they will both sit on a beach as two little old ladies and laugh about all their early life experiences and probably share a few more tears.  The definition of friendship is companionship.  Theirs' was a companionship woven by a lifetime.