Word Vomit

I fear what I can't control. Mostly, time. As in future, present, and past. I'm addicted to control. Just like the warmth heroine spreads against an addict's skin after being injected, how can you leave without it? When all you live for, sometimes can go out of your hands? Just like everything, I may as well say. You don't have control over nothing in your life. Now I am contradicting myself, aren't I? I shall welcome you then, to my - extremely narrow - scope of reality. I am intimidated by what I can't have. I live obsessed over things I will never get a hold of. I've been trying to break an addiction that has taken over what's left of my reason the last 5 years of my life. And you know what? I might have told a lie. No, I take that back- in fact, I have never told a lie. But I live one. How can you understand a sick fellow's mind when you have never been exposed to all of the aspects of life, amplified? Let me explain myself; in other words, viewing what can't be seen without being blindfolded, hearing what nobody has ever spoken? Have I still not made myself clear? Let me repeat. Thinking like what society now-a-days calls "crazy". I myself find it a rather offensive term, since humans are so very shallow... Nobody can ever set the difference from what is "sane", and what is "crazy". And whoever claims they can, is just living a lie. Just like me. Perhaps, even just like you, no?