?A NORMAL AMERICAN FAMILY?

?A NORMAL AMERICAN FAMILY?

(true story about my grandfather name John)


“Go ahead, either of you.  Even together you’re not big enough to stop me!”  Their father was raping their mother on the living room floor while daring his young sons to stop him.  He was six foot two, 200 pounds of muscle.  John Groce was a mean, malicious man.

Quinn was fourteen.  Will was fifteen. Both were skinny, malnourished and too scared to push or pull their horrible father off of the young body of their mother.  Six year old George was crying under the table watching in terrifying scene. Their sister, Eva, opened the door to come from outside; and she seemed frozen in place at the unbelievable scene before her.  Her brothers looked her way with fear screaming from their faces while their mother writhed in place trying to get away from the demon that was raping her.

John Groce had no shame.  The bully finally finished the ugly deed, stood up, kicked at their mother, stared at his sons and stormed through the kitchen and out the back door.  Moments later his 1915 Ford wheeled out of the yard and up the road.

John was the son of a widow.  Her husband had been killed in a gunfight with a neighbor shortly after she learned that she was pregnant.  He was a carpenter; and, the neighbor accused him of poor construction when he put a new shingled roof on his house.  She had an older son who had always experienced his mother’s meanness.  Apparently, she had become schizophrenic during her early adulthood and because the family lived far from town and was not active in community activities, nobody was able to intervene.  She was no kinder to young John than she had been toward his brother, Evan.  Both of the boys suffered brutality at her hand regardless of their behavior.  At least, that was the story John Groce later told his wife, daughter and sons.  Obviously, he did not recognize that he was just like the mother that he described to them.  He ran away from his Arkansas home at the age of fifteen.

John was not only a big man, but he was strong.  When he ran away from home, he ended up working in the oilfields of Texas and Oklahoma that required him to lift heavy metal pipes; thus, his muscles were like anyone might expect of a hefty weightlifter.  His sons had watched him kill a steer with his bare hands instead of using a gun on the day the boys helped their father butcher the steer as a way to provide meat for the family’s table. 

Elvira Groce was short and small at five feet and one inch tall.  As a short woman married to John Groce, she had no power or physical strength against his abuse.  The day of the rape while he yelled at his sons, Elvira could do nothing.  Besides major embarrassment at the sexual act by her mean or mentally ill husband, Elvira was filled with fear that he might kill her and, or, her sons before the afternoon ended.  Fortunately, he just drove away.  It seemed to always drive away whenever he had been so angry that he broke household items or hurt her or the children.  She was pregnant with her tenth child.

John was born in 1887, the second son of George Wilks Groce.  His older brother was the only male figure in his life and he was just five years older than John.  Neither of them went to school past the fourth grade.  By the end of fourth grade a boy in Arkansas was ten years old and capable of helping with the kinds of work that was required on a farm.  Their parents did not think it took school learning to feed the pigs, milk the cows, clean the barn and chicken house or drive the team of mules to plow the garden and fields.  Working on the farm was hard work and the two boys didn’t mind doing it. 

The worst jobs they could be called on to do were the things that needed to be done indoors because their mother was never pleased with their work.  It didn’t seem to matter to her that the floors, doors, windows, and similar areas of the house was cleaned by either of them, their mother could never be pleased,  She would yell that the cleaning was not done right and make them clean everything with a small brush, over and over.  If they stopped at all, she used the straps from horses’ harness to beat them.  Life just wasn’t worth living at the Groce place.  John left when he was fifteen and never knew what happened to his brother or mother.

Elvira worked as a maid at a rooming house in Norman, Oklahoma; and, she met John Groce when he was a roomer there.  He had a job and liked the short, quiet young woman.  They married shortly after meeting.  Elvira loved John and was happy being his wife.  In the early years of the marriage, he was kind to her and she believed he loved her.  Their first child, Eva, was born in 1914 when John was 27.  Quinn and Will were born in 1915 and 1917 followed by another baby every year until 1924 when the eighth baby was stillborn; dead at birth.  Their third son, Ira, died of influenza at the age of two.  The fourth son, George, was sickly as a child.  After Ira’s death, John’s behavior became erratic and cruel toward his family.  It was as though the boys’ death pummeled him into the same insanity that must have afflicted his mother.

Often John came home from work speaking angrily about his boss or somebody else at work.  He would rage about them while drinking moonshine whiskey.  He always seemed to become the mad man about the time the evening meal was over and the whole family was in the house.  Without warning he would turn his rage onto his family, load his shotgun and hold all of them at bay with the shotgun for hours. Those evenings of fear happened so often that it became the norm in the John Groce family.



Chapter 2

George Groce graduated from high school in 1936 at the age of seventeen.  He was the small boy hiding under the table when he saw his mother being raped on the living room floor as she cried for help.  That memory haunted him every day; even that December when he married his pregnant girlfriend, Evelyn.  She lived what some would say was “a stone’s throw” from the old house where he grew up.  The two of them and their siblings always walked to and from the school bus stop five days a week.  He and Evelyn often met on Saturday, down at the creek between their homes.  From those meetings, a baby began to grow within Evelyn and George asked his oldest sister, Eva if she would help them get married because both George and Evelyn knew that getting pregnant was unforgivable.  She knew that if she told her father that she was pregnant that he would whip her in the barn with the leather straps from the horses’ harness.

Eva and her new husband, Vin, agreed to help George and Evelyn.  They notified their employers that they would not be at work for a week.  After Eva purchased a nice bouquet for her soon-to-be sister, they picked up George and Evelyn after school and presented the bouquet to Evelyn.  Then, they drove them to town to get a marriage license and stood with them through the marriage ceremony in the home of a justice of the peace.  As a special surprise, Eva announced that they were driving the pregnant newlyweds to southern California.  George and Evelyn were overjoyed.

It was the third week of December and there was rain and snow as they drove across Texas and Arizona.  They stopped along Highway Route 66 at small motels at night.  As tourists, they visited Tombstone, Arizona and took many photographs of George and Evelyn; photos that would show that their honeymoon was a time of fun and laughter.
When they got to Whittier, California, they stopped to visit George’s uncle and aunt who were anticipating their arrival.

Uncle George and his wife welcomed the newlyweds.  “Glad you’re here, George.  It’s good to meet you, Evelyn.” After shaking hands with them, Uncle George and Aunt Oma turned to welcome Eva and her sweet husband, and thanked them for helping the young kids.  Getting pregnant before marriage wasn’t something new to families in those days; however, javing family to love and to help them seemed rare to the pregnant couple.  George and Evelyn knew that they were indeed fortunate.

Aunt Oma served coffee and pecan pie to her guests. “George and Evelyn, you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you need.  Eva and Vin, thank you for all you’ve done for them.  You’ve always taken responsibility for your younger siblings, Eva, you’re truly an angel.  I know how hard life was for you before you and Vin married.”  She patted Eva on the shoulder and smiled warmly.

Eva placed a napkin on her lap.  “Thank you, Aunt Oma.  Just to hear you say that makes my heart shudder.  It’s Mama who’s suffered.  And, she still is but there’s nothing any of us can do about Dad.”  She took a piece of the pie.  “Hmm, this is wonderful pie.  Thank you so much.”

They talked about their trip, the snow and the famous gunslingers buried in Tombstones  Old Time Cemetery.  All of them enjoyed the pie and hot coffee in the modern kitchen of their California relatives.  Rudy and Jack came home from work at the end of the day.  After hugging Eva and shaking hands with their cousins, they introduced themselves to Evelyn.

Evelyn was short as a young woman with brown eyes and dark black hair which she gave her the appearance of royalty.  Her full lips and fine facial features became more brilliant and increased her beauty when she smiled.  Mildly shy, she quietly accepted compliments from George’s cousins.

At breakfast the following morning, Uncle George announced, “George, you’re with me this morning.  I’ve talked with Rod Gordon at the can factory and he’s got a job for you.  He’s a friend from church and is foreman at a factory that makes cans for Hunt’s, Del Monte, and similar companies.  We’ll leave here as soon as breakfast is over and you’ve shaved.”  He got up and poured himself another cup of coffee.

George finished his coffee and stood up.  “Thanks, Uncle, I’m finished and I’ll shave right now.  I appreciate you’re doing that.  I won’t let you down.”  He left the room.

Evelyn poured another cup of coffee for Aunt Oma and herself, “I know George will do a good job for anyone who hires him.  Whenever he worked for my father, Daddy said he could always count on him to do any job well.  Daddy hired him often on the farm.”

Aunt Oma thanked Evelyn for the coffee.  “I’m sure he will.  Whenever we visited his home while he was growing up, he showed that he had pride in what he did.  Those poor kids and Elvira still in the home of a madman.  They’ve had it hard trying to avoid John.  I know he’s been cruel to them their whole lives; but there’s nobody who can do anything about him.  As they say, ‘a man’s home is his castle’.  That’s such a bag of garbage; there should be laws for such cruelty in homes.”

Evelyn pushed a curl from her forehead.  “George has cried often when he told me of the horror in the home.  More than once, he’s wished aloud that his father would turn his shotgun on himself.  I feel the same way.  My parents have been so good to all of us, such a contrast to Mr. Groce.  I’ve been so fortunate in that way.  In an opposite way, my parents are probably furious that I’ve married George.  Whenever they criticized George’s father, I knew they didn’t want either my sister or I to fall for a Groce boy; and, look at me.  I do love one of them.  I don’t know if they’ll ever forgive me.”

Uncle George and his nephew left the house and drove to the can factory.  Rod Gordon was across the warehouse when they went in.  He walked over and shook Uncle George’s hand.  “Good to see you this morning.” He turned to the nephew and reached out his hand.

Before his uncle could make the introduction, George chimed in, “Jack’s the name.  Jack Groce.  G.W. Jack Groce.”  In that moment, young George of Oklahoma became Jack Groce in California.

After Uncle George left, Jack accompanied Rod Gordon to the office, signed in as ‘G.W. Jack Groce, and was given an assignment packaging the cans as they came off of the assembly line.  For the next year, he was one of Rod Gordon’s best employees.





Chapter 3


The months passed quickly for Evelyn as her stomach grew as the baby grew.  Finally, in August 1937, Wayne was born.  He was a healthy seven pound baby with dark hair and eyes like his young mother.  Aunt Oma helped with his care while Evelyn regained her strength. 

When Wayne was three months old, Evelyn and George decided to return to Oklahoma.  Uncle George and Aunt Oma took time from their schedule to drive the young family and to visit with Elvira and the children who were still living at home.  Once again Eva and Vin helped the young couple.  They found a small house for them, just a stone’s throw from their own estate.  The small, two room house was shielded by a grove of tall pecan trees.  Unfortunately for Evelyn, she had to walk a long distance to the pump that served two other households along the road. 

By December, just a year after she found that she was pregnant with Wayne, Evelyn found that she was pregnant again.  She was especially sick during the first months of that pregnancy.  George couldn’t seem to find any job that he liked in the area so he was often riding the trains along with other hoboes, grabbing onto the boxcar ladders, and pulling himself on top or inside of the cattle cars or flat cars riding as far as any single train would take him.  He went north to Kansas and Nebraska where he worked for farmers who were working to redeem their land from the Dust Bowl winds of earlier years.  Occasionally, he returned home to his young, pregnant wife and son.

Evelyn was saddened when George was away.  Her unhappiness increased when he would be home because he had begun to always have whiskey on hand.  She wished that she could pour the whiskey down the drain but he kept it hidden outside the house.  The more he drank when he was home, the more like his father became.  His pregnant young wife, barely eighteen years of age, was the object of his fist and his yelling.  She began to wish that he would never return home from his travels and she found solace only with Eva who worried that her little brother was becoming like her father.

In August 1938, a baby girl was born to Evelyn while George, also known as Jack, was away from home.  Evelyn named her Beverly, after the famous home of the stars: Beverly Hills.  The tiny girl thrived at the breast of her mother and was loved by her father.  When he returned home after the birth, he seemed to settle down to enjoy the tiny baby girl he loved to hold in his arms.  Immediately, he got a job working for a construction contractor. 

After the little girl was born, Evelyn asked Eva to drive her to visit her parents.  They welcomed their first grandchildren and forgave their daughter for hurrying off to California when she was pregnant before a wedding.  They enjoyed having little Wayne and Beverly at their home.  It wasn’t long before Evelyn announced to them that she was pregnant again; something that worried them because they knew that George was spending too much of his income on whiskey and staying out the bars in town.  More than once, he and two of his brothers had been arrested for instigating barfights.  They worried that part of his anger was being mean to their daughter but she would not tell them the truth of the matter even when she had bruises on her arms as evidence to them.

George left his pregnant wife again and traveled the rails saying he was looking for work.  His absence weighed on Evelyn especially during the latter months when she had to keep up with a one and a two year old toddler.  Once again, she faced the birth of a child alone, with no husband to support her. 

On Thanksgiving Day in 1939, Lyn was born to Evelyn in the home of her parents.  No physician was present but the birthing went well and Lyn was healthy.  For the first months of her life, while her father was gone, she and her siblings lived with their mother in the home of their grandparents who also cared for two additional daughters, a mother in law and her father’s brother.  The large household did not have enough caretakers for those who needed care; but they managed.  After three months, Evelyn moved back to the little two room house that was inadequate for her little family whose father seemed not to care about them.

Baby Lyn immediately became ill when she was moved with her family out of the grandparents’ home.  She constantly cried from an aching stomach and often vomited the milk that she received.  Evelyn milked their cow every day and fed it to Lyn as well as to Wayne and Beverly.  Apparently Lyn was tormented by an allergy the milk of the cow.  When she would be taken back to her grandparents’ home, she would not be in pain and vomiting.  The milk that they gave her was from their herd of whiteface Hereford cows.

Lyn began to live with her grandparents; and, she thrived.  At no time did she become ill when at there home.  George was gone north or west supposedly looking for work.  Evelyn took care of Wayne and Beverly, carrying water from the pump, milking the cow; and, at the same time, she was pregnant for the fourth time.  When George was home, he spent his time at work and at his favorite bar.  Even so, Evelyn love George and George loved Evelyn. 

Halfway through her pregnancy, Evelyn began to have medical problems and Dr. Ray Lindsey told her that she must stay in bed or she might lose the baby.  That made it impossible for Lyn to re-enter her family; for her, the situation was wonderful even though her mother wished to have all of her babies at home.  Wayne was his mother’s little helper as he neared his fourth birthday.  Beverly was a quiet child and easy for her mother to care for from the bed. 

While his father away somewhere, baby Art was born in March 1940.  He was more like his father than his mother with his light colored hair and light complexion.  Beverly quickly became attached to her little brother as if she should be his caretaker.  Like a little mother, she held his bottle and reminded their mother when Art needed a diaper change.  Wayne was always helpful to his mother whether the task was drying the dishes or dusting the furniture.  If he had been able, he would have pumped and carried the water for her each day.

George returned home to see his new son.  For a while, he worked for a construction contractor in the area and spent a lot of time with his family.  He continued to spend his Friday and Saturday evenings at his favorite bar.  Sometimes, he returned home from the bar as an angry man.  At such times, he hit Evelyn enough to hurt her but not enough to send her to the hospitals.  She kept those incidents secret from her parents who did not have a favorable opinion or relationship with their son-in-law.  The only positive interaction with George by them was when Evelyn’s mother needed whiskey to mix with peppermint candy, her cough syrup mixture.  George always made the purchase of the whiskey for her.  By that time, they had two grandchildren in addition to Evelyn’s four.

Evelyn became pregnant again; and, again her physician required that she stay in bed.  Lyn was happily living with her grandparents and playing with Sandy, one of her cousins.  The two of them were becoming the favorite grandchildren who were granted anything they wished for by the grandparents.  Wayne, Beverly and Art often visited with their parents, the Groce grandparents who had two daughters just six and seven years older than Wayne.

John Groce continued to be mean toward his wife and daughters, often holding them at bay with his shotgun.  He never settled down through the years after their older children married and left home to have their families.  From before the last two girls were born, he drove his wife and, later, the girls as well, back and forth from Oklahoma to California, sometimes spending months in Arizona.  His wife and the girls always appeared hungry with deep hollow eyes,  George, Eva, Quinn and Will were constantly worried about them; however, there was no way to free them from their father, his meanness and his shotgun. They talked often expressing their fear that their father might kill them and himself sometime along the roads that he traveled.

Caring for three small children including a baby of less than a year, was difficult for Evelyn when George was gone.  But, once again, she prevailed and kept them healthy, played with them at her bed, read to them and loved them; at the same time, the baby within her grew.  He was born in January 1942 and named Donald Gene.  George returned from his travels after the boy’s birth and was excited about the new baby.  He spent time with Wayne, Beverly and Art for he loved them very much even though he was away most of the time.  His own restlessness confused him perhaps as much as it did Evelyn.  He could never understand why he was different from Will and Eva who never left their young families.  They were happy to settle in one place; he just couldn’t.





Chapter 4

While George was working in shipbuilding industry in California, he received word from Eva that his baby boy, Donald Gene, had died suddenly of spinal meningitis.  On a normal morning, three days earlier, Evelyn had taken the baby “who had the sniffles” for an appointment to have a photograph taken of him.  The photographer noticed that the baby couldn’t seem to hold his left side in place; instead, his left arm and leg drooped downward.  He mentioned that to Evelyn and encouraged her to go straight to the doctor.  The baby spent three days in the hospital before dying.  There was nothing that doctors could do when any patient had spinal meningitis.

George hurried home for the funeral and to realize the devastation that the death had on Evelyn.  She seemed inconsolable in her grief.  He worried that she would not recover from the grief in order to take care of the living children.  He stayed close with her until she finally recovered.  Lyn continued to live with her grandparents.

After a while, George’s restlessness took hold of him and he rode the rails back to California where he returned to the shipbuilding industry. He became lonely for his family and begged Evelyn to bring the family and live in California with him.  He made many promises to her and also told her that if she did not go to be with him, that he wanted her to get a divorce from him.

George told Evelyn something that he had said before, “I’m only half a man with you, but I’m no man at all without you.”  She decided to load the children on a train and go to California to be with her husband in spite of the shaky relationship that they shared.  Evelyn told her mother and father that she was going to California to be with George.

The question then was, “What shall we do with Lyn?  Should she now join her siblings and parents, or is it best for her to continue to be raised in the home of her grandparents?”  After discussing the future of the bouncy, happy little girl who was had just had her fourth birthday, the decision was a dismal one for Lyn.  She was to be uprooted from her grandparents who has loved her dearly, respected her individuality, and taught her right from wrong in loving ways.  They never used whippings or shouting to discipline her because they believed, and proved with her, that loving and gentle ways could easily train a child to grow.  As grandparents, they were the opposite in training grandchildren than they had been with Evelyn and her older sister.

During a major downpour a few days later, the grandfather’s pickup was backed to the back porch and, trying to keep everyone dry, he carried each of his grandchildren from the house to the enclosed pickup, let Evelyn and the grandmother climb in the front seat; and, he drove the family to the railway station.  Lyn cried and wailed and held tightly to her grandmother from whom she knew only love and kindness, until she was pulled away by Evelyn and taken on the long train ride to California.  The trauma and sadness of that day was to stay with Lyn all the years of her life in her mother’s home; and, even during the days that she would have her own children.  The loss of the loving home was terribly traumatic for Lyn.

George was glad to have his family with him and the assurance that his marriage wasn’t over.  He tried to be a better husband and attentive father.  He quit staying out late at night at the bar and he did not bring whiskey home with him.  The family thrived; that is, all of them except Lyn.  Evelyn had adjusted to the death of baby Donald Gene and enjoyed having her husband at her side more than he had ever been before.  Her only problem was that Lyn was difficult for her to handle. 

One day Lyn found two cigarette butts of her father’s.  She went to the kitchen and got some matches then whispered to Beverly to go with her.  Lyn led Beverly out to the back of the house in California and sat down.  Then she lighted a cigarette butt and handed it to her sister; and, she lit the other for herself.  The four and five year old girls did not realize that they were smoking the cigarette butts under the kitchen window.  Their mother was in the kitchen and she alerted George about the smell of cigarettes.  He walked around the house, saw the two girls, lectured them about the ills of smoking; then, he made them chew the butts and swallow them.  Then he watched them vomit the tobacco. “Now, you can see how bad smoking is.  Never do it again.”

Lyn would spend hours crying for her grandparents and the home that she had always known.  Evelyn resented that Lyn preferred them and she found it easy to become angry at the four year old and spanked her with a black leather belt often.  It seemed to her that the more she tried to control Lyn, the more Lyn fought back at her. 

George tried to deal with Lyn but he had no better luck with her so he stopped giving her any attention, positive or negative.  He preferred spending his time with Larry, Beverly and Art.  Lyn’s best times of the day were her playtimes outdoors with her siblings.  Larry, apparently in response to the negative attention Lyn received from her mother, became Lyn’s best friend and champion.  He tried to protect her from the dissatisfaction of his mother.  He learned to give an explanation that benefited Lyn whenever their mother became angry at Lyn.

George received a notice from his Oklahoma Draft Board and was drafted into the military.  He joined the U.S.Navy and was gone in a few short days after the notice was received. 



Chapter 5

Evelyn, loaded the four children onto a train and returned to Oklahoma where her parents found a small house a mile from them.  She and the children spent the years of the war just a block down the graveled road to the school which Wayne, then Beverly, then Lyn attended. 

Evelyn continued her battle with Lyn, often whipping her menacingly with the black belt.  While she sometimes whipped the other three children with the belt, she was reasonable and spatted them just a few licks with the belt.  But, when Lyn was the culprit that she punished, she seemed to lose track of the beatings.  Once while she held Lyn’s hand whipping her, Lyn ducked under the table which Evelyn then hit her hand on, and she continued to hold Lyn’s hand and beat her uncontrollably until Beverly went into the house crying and begging her mother to stop beating Lyn. 

Lyn never felt loved except when she was allowed to spend at night at her grandparents’ house.  Wayne’s attachment to his mother was strong; in fact, the child seemed to believe that his mother was in danger if he was away from her.  The one time that he said he wanted to stay with his grandparents, he changed his mind before bedtime so dramatically with tears that his grandfather had to take him home after dark.  Beverly was comfortable with or without her mother so she often spent the night at their home.  Unfortunately, the mother-in-law had died and the children had to sleep in the back bedroom which had been hers; and, it’s other occupant was the squirrelly, toothless brother of the grandfather.  His presence would later prove to be disastrous to frail little Beverly.

The years of war while George was away was difficult for Evelyn and the children.  Her income from his military stipend was small and she was unable to work outside the home with four small children to care for.  Her parents assisted by providing meat from their herds, a cow for her to milk, chickens to provide eggs for them; and, they assisted in other ways through the many months.  She and the children spent many of their non-school days with them, helping on the farm.

One day at the farm, Wayne disappeared.  All of the family was frantic and looked everywhere for him, fearing the worst that some accident had taken his life.  After hours, he was found asleep in a most unlikely place.  He had been playing in the ashes by the burn barrel and he had removed one shoe but had become tired while trying to put it back on his foot.  When that happened, Evelyn was overwrought; her fear that she could have lost him stayed with her and created a certain need for his presence with her.  The relationship was almost as if he was her partner in life more than his father in some unusual emotional way.  That relationship was to crowd adult relationships for him when his mother pressed for him to always live nearby; however, he could never change the emotional tie from his mother.

Immediately, Wayne began second grade at Scoby Elementary School and Beverly started first grade where their teacher was Mrs. Azalee Thomas.  Beverly was already reading by the time she entered first grade because her mother read with her and encouraged her to learn the words.  Mr. Aud Thomas, teacher of fifth through eighth grades, was so impressed with her that he arranged a reading exercise pitting her ability against those of older boys with the purpose of shaming them into learning to become better readers.

Evelyn played games with her children on winter days when it was too cold to be outside.  A favorite game of theirs was “I Spy” whereby one person would hide a thimble in plane sight somewhere in the room; then, each seeker, all other players, would walk quietly around the room, find the thimble; however, they did not give notice of where it was, they simply said “I Spy” and sat down until all players had spied the thimble.  The first person then went to the thimble, picked it up, and became the “It” who hid the thimble the next time.  Such games created happy moments among the family. 

Even at play times, Lyn did not feel as if she truly belonged in the family.  Her little heart was always with her beloved grandparents; and, that always made Evelyn feel too separate from her second daughter.  Nevertheless, Evelyn had to admit to herself that she just didn’t feel the “mother’s” love that she urgently desired toward her daughter.  It was easier to love the three children that had been in her company almost every day of their lives.




Chapter 6

Finally the war was over and George arrived home after a long delay.  One day Evelyn and the children were sitting with her parents and sisters on the front porch of their home.  One of the children pointed up the road to the hill beyond the creek and said, “Someone’s coming.”  When Evelyn looked in that direction, she called out, “It’s George.  I know how he walks.”  At that particular moment, George was walking their way while looking toward the old house nearest him.  It was the house where he remembered the cruelty of his father against his mother and his siblings and himself.  He remembered the day that his father raped his mother on the living room floor while yelling at Quinn and Will.  Fear swept through him.

George heard voices and soon saw his family running toward him.  He ran to them.  Evelyn, Wayne, Beverly and Art hugged their father to welcome him home.  Lyn stayed at the side of her grandparents on the front porch.  She hardly knew George Groce for she had spent very little time in his presence during her six years of life.

The family was happy to be together.  Lyn was happiest at her grandparents even though she had to live with her parents in the small house.  One day while George and the boys were rebuilding the outhouse, he lost his cigarettes.  Being a smoker who did not want his children to get the habit, he tried his best to find the lost package of Camels.  After he could not find them, he asked the boys to look for them.  They didn’t find them, so he told the girls to look as well. 

When darkness fell, the pack of Camels was still missing,  In his determination to find who had taken them, he lined the children up smallest to tallest near the dinner table.  “Before this family eats, those cigarettes will be found.  Now, I will spank each of you, starting with the youngest.  When I do find out who knows where the cigarettes are, that child will receive the total number of hits with this black belt as all the other three have felt. 

At that moment, Wayne admitted that he had taken and hidden the pack of Camels.  He was required to go and get the pack and bring it to his father.  “Now, Wayne, here’s a match.  Light a cigarette and smoke it.”  Wayne began smoking as best as he could, swallowing some of the smoke until he turned peeked and then puked all over the floor. His next assignment was to clean up the floor.  Then, the family sat down for dinner.  Wayne did not eat; he just sat still hoping he would not vomit again.

Christmas came shortly after George’s return.  He and Evelyn had fun and happiness preparing their home Christmas Eve so their children would be happily surprised.  They had purchased dozens of gifts from dolls and little farm animals to a red wagon.  They chose not to wrap the gifts but to display them across the floor.  The delight of their Christmas morning was watching the faces and reactions of the children as they entered the living room.  There were no lights on the little Christmas tree because the house had no electricity.

The excitement of the children the next morning was memorable.  George and Evelyn were excited with and for them.  Happiness filled the room.  Lyn felt happy too.  After the children enjoyed their toys and the family finished breakfast, they loaded in the car that George had purchased and went to the home of Evelyn’s parents for sharing Christmas gifts.  All of Evelyn’s family was there including her sisters and brother and their children. 

After having a lot of fun there with the cousins and grandparents, George drove them to spend the remainder of the day with his parents.  All of George’s siblings with their children were present and it was a happy day for the family.  Their father was in a decent mood and did not get angry during the holiday.  Lyn enjoyed being with all of the cousins along with her siblings. One thing that captured the children’s attention was a man’s walking cane high up in the tree, hanging on a limb.  John Groce told them that it was put there years ago by an old many who shot himself under the tree.

George and Evelyn moved to a different, older but bigger house.  It also was not painted but was of weathered wood and quite dark inside.  The children’s rooms were very small as they had previously been.  That year all four of the children went to Scoby School which was a bit longer walk that they had previously. 

George came home from the war like his brothers and many other military servicemen, as alcoholics and chain smokers.  Every Friday and Saturday night, he and three of his brothers would go to the bars to drink, and sometimes fight and end up in jail.  Other times, they drove to his house in their drunkenness where they sometimes slept in the car until daylight, or they all went into the house and went to sleep on the living room floor.  Their weekend alcohol binges were the norm for them for years.

The family moved across the county the following years and the children began school at Moore Elementary School, another two room rural schoolhouse.  They usually had to walk three miles each way, morning and evening, unless George was not working or if there was snow on the ground and he or another father would pick up the kids and drive them home. 

Those were happy days for the kids, all of them, because they had neighbors close by who were good friends with George and Evelyn.  The family had kids the same ages as their children.  Lyn found special attention that year that was to fill her need for love and physical attention.  So did Wayne.  One boy in that family became Lyn’s boyfriend and one girl in that family became Wayne’s girlfriend.  From that year, both Lyn and Wayne always found a special friend of the opposite who liked to hug and kiss and touch just as they did.  Meanwhile, Art and Beverly had many friends and neither of them had a hunger for the physical loving attention. 

George and Evelyn farmed the next year.  They planted corn and worked together on the crop and other activities.  Together they worked in the broomcorn and corn crops of other farmers to earn money.  George continued to go drinking every weekend with his brothers; even so, he and Evelyn seemed to be happily married and functioned quite effectively as parents.

One day a major event happened.  While the four children were at school on the playground during the lunch hour, their Uncle Quinn drove past as fast as his pickup would travel.  A few minutes he drove back just as fast with George’s pickup following him.

That day, their father, George Wilks Groce, had gone to the house of Quinn and Will, and just before they were to come up to the house for lunch, he shot himself dead in their kitchen.  Quinn had never married and Will’s wife had died the previous year.  His ten year old daughter lived with them.  When the two men walked in and saw the horrible mess of blood and death that their father had left in their home, they rushed to get the Sheriff and all of their brothers to help clean the ugly mess.

During the days before the funeral, all of the Groce adults and their teenage sisters gathered at the home of their mother, Elvira.  As most families do when there is a death, they brought out the picture box, looked at the old black and white family pictures and talked about the good times and the bad.  George was especially interested in one particular photograph.  He was told that the photo was “one of many pictures taken when Quinn was on leave and in his Army uniform.  All the girls in the family had their pictures taken with him.  The pictures of each of them with Quinn was  in the box.  One of the pictures was of Quinn and Evelyn.  When George saw the photo, he became very angry; however, he held his anger to himself.

Three days later the funeral was held.  The grandkids all were curious and tried to see where the bullet went into George’s head as they passed the casket.  The day was a gray, rainy dreadful day and George Wilks Groce had given his family freedom from trauma for the first day in his life.

That evening when they arrived home, George and Evelyn questioned the lights at the home of their friends who lived on the next hill.  But, they didn’t check it out; they went to their room.  Their room shared an adjacent wall with Lyn and Beverly’s room; in fact, beds in the separate rooms shared the thin wall.

When they were in bed, George suddenly hit Evelyn on her breast with his fist.  “What the hell were you doing with Quinn in that picture?  I know what you did, you and he have been having a sordid, God damned affair.  How long have you been sleeping with him, you adulterant whore!”  He hit her again and again.  “Admit it.  Admit that you’ve been a-whoring with him.  Say it.  Damnit to hell! Say it. Say that you’re an adulterous whore.” 

Little Beverly, only ten years going onto eleven, heard every word and the sound of every hit that her mother endured that night and every night after that.  She watched the next day when Uncle Quinn drove up the driveway and her father hurried to meet him at his car telling him, “And don’t you ever come back her again.  Never again you sonofabitch!”

Beverly never needed to wonder why Uncle Quinn never visited their home again.  She never needed to be told that her mother endured beatings and accusations night after night.  She knew the awful truth and she could never speak it.  She prayed that God would change everything so her parents would not stay angry; but no answer came.

Christmas Eve came approxmitely two month later and Evelyn took the children across the road to the community Christmas party to participate in the celebration.  At the end of the evening, Santa Claus made an appearance and handed out gifts and candy to all of the children. 

Just before Santa Claus appeared, Evelyn turned around and saw George walk in with two of his brothers and three whores; all of them were drunk and making noise that disturbed the situation.  The children went to get their candy and gifts while Evelyn watched, then followed George and his group out the door.  There in front of everybody, the drunk George began to berate his small seemingly helpless wife, accusing her of adultery.  She walked past them and across the road, up the pasture to their house.  He and his alcoholic sodden group drove away.

Evelyn then walked back to the church to get her children.  They and she were so emotionally disturbed when they went inside their home, that she decided to let them open their gifts that evening instead of waiting until Christmas morning.  It was a positive experience for them; but the desired happiness had been drained away at the ugly fighting that they saw of their parents. 

George’s gift to Evelyn that Christmas was a nice Bible, the first Bible that she had ever owned.  She never missed going to church and taking her children to Sunday School.  Strange that with all the damaging words and accusations and physical attacks that he had dished out to her, that he would give her a Bible as a gift.

The weekend binge drinking became a daily affair.  George came home drunk every evening and every night, little Beverly could hear him beat and accuse her mother of adultery.  She never answered him in the affirmative nor named any person.  He named Quinn and demanded that she say he was the one she had been sexual with.  She took the beatings and could not lie; she was innocent and little Beverly never doubted her truth.

The week school was out, the family moved to a tiny square, four room house with a tiny loft which served as the boys’ room.  It was in a different school district.  Then, their father, George, told them good bye and he went to California.