“ Punxsutawney Phil”s Perspective”

                                                “ Punxsutawney Phil”s Perspective”

  It is 2012, and soothsayers predict the end of humanity will come near the end of December. As I sat in my dining room eyeballing the laptop keys, my mind drifted into this day, February second. Old Phil had seen his shadow and another six weeks of a mild and strange winter were upon us. But more pressing was the predicted end of this world. I wanted very much to ask Phil his opinion.

  The drive from Delaware to Gooblers Knob took about three hours, tops. Since I left intentionally late, my arrival was well timed. It was two a.m. and all the crowds of revelers had long gone to sleep. Or they had left for back home. It was perfect for the plan I hatched not five hours prior. But this was, I thought, very important. I banged on Phil's log as loud as possible, without drawing attention. But the little rodent was not to be seen. I did not have six more weeks to wait for what I had come here for. I came here for answers from the “seer of seers, and the prognosticator of prognosticators, Punxsutawney Phil!  I banged on Phil's lodge once more.

  The sleepy eyed groundhog emerged moments later with a look in his eyes of disgust. He had just gone through an exhausting ordeal less then a day earlier. He was less then cordial.

  “Phil, I know it's late, but I do have an important question. No one else seems to be interested in asking you,” I said with as much respect one could give a celebrity rodent.

  Phil looked about to see if another annoying crowd had gathered before drawing a deep sigh to answer. I must report, one small paw rubbed each eye before he began.

  “Where do you all get off with this crap?” he retorted, in the best squeaky voice he could muster.

  “I--well, I am not sure what you mean Phil,” I shuddered, timidly, so as to not have him retreat into the log.

  “Don't all of you realize that I never wanted this acclaim?, nor all this attention?“ Phil barked, as he shuffled around some left over saw dust, wood chips and hay, surrounding the stage where his home sat.

  I thought for a minute about Phil's words before I answered.

  “Well, to tell the truth, I never looked at it that way. So what exactly do you mean?”

  Phil stared me down as if he had never heard such a stupid reply. Disgusted, he looked back at his hole in the log, then back to me. I feared the worst assuming Phil would leave, as my efforts for profound truth were waning. Once more I fumbled for words.

  “I know it's late, forgive me, but I must know your answer to my question. You see, Phil this is so much more important than just a season. It's our whole world I am wondering about; our whole existence. People all over the world believe the world will be destroyed”

  “You're not one of those end of the world guys, are you?”Phil replied, sincerely.

  I thought long and hard before I replied. “Well, Phil it's complicated!”

  “Oh that's original!” he replied. A small smirk appeared across his muzzle.

  “Just wait one minute here, Phil! I've come a long way, and since you are the original soothsayer and prognosticator, I am asking you. I mean, it's really more important then when the winter will be over. Look,you might be out of a job, and we all might be toast if it is true. I just want your opinion on this, that's all. After all, Phil everyone looks to you for answers.”

  Phil looked around once more,scratched his ears, shuffled more debris and then answered. He held back as long as he could.

  I can't say that I have seen a groundhog laugh before, but here I was. Phil was beside himself, rolling on the ground emitting a funny shrill noise that seemed like a chuckle. I might have become indignant if not for the importance of my visit. So, I regained composure and pursued further.

  “They say the world's going to end on December 21st of this year, Phil! What is your thoughts about this? That is why I came here.” I calmly asked.

  “Come on, now. Do you really believe that?” Phil sat back onto his hind quarters as if in indignation.

  “Look, let's face it. You people come here year after year and want to know if I or my ancestors have seen their shadow. Then they will go home and prepare for either more cold or an early Spring. Let's face it, who is the idiot here? I mean, when will you get your head out of you know where and look at life for what it is? I can't tell you any more about weather then your own damn weathermen, let alone what the future will hold. What is it about you people who look for some stupid answer to things rather then what is all around you? You people can't even agree on who is your maker, let alone what the future holds. Year after year, I have to go through all this dumb celebration and be humiliated!

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “How about if we drag you out of bed on February 2nd at dawn, and ask you what the weather will be for the next month? Have you all lost your minds? I mean do you not see the ridiculousness of all this?”

  “Well, I guess so, if you put it that way. But you do know things, right?” I asked; half afraid that at any time Phil would just cut me off.

  “I don't know any more then anyone else, and that's a fact! Just use your brain. That's why you have one."  Phil said. He paused for another moment, then continued.

  "If I were the Great One, you can bet I would consider ending the world. You people all deserve it. You kill each other. You ruin the Earth as if you can go get another one. You cheat each other and lie and are greedy. Should I go on?  I mean if I were Him, I wouldn't destroy the Earth like some of you people believe. I would just remove the ones who were supposed to be the caretakers of it! God made man to live here on Earth for a reason. He wanted mankind to take care of the garden. Eventually making it extended, to cover the whole Earth  Then they would live forever in that paradise. God has not changed his original plan to have a world full of good, honest, caring people; as well as all the animals living alongside. No! He has just given you time to see if you can govern yourselves. The answer to that is obvious isn't it? So to answer your question; the answer is no. God is not going to destroy the Earth. As for the people here on it, all I can say is this. Maybe you ought to dig yourself a hole in the ground like mine. That is, just in case."