still not there#1

Autumn

  Back when I was small the elders told me I would be able to live a normal life with humans. I wonder why I'm still trapped behind closed doors when the suns out, I'm not even a stupid vampire. But I wonder if I burn like one?
  I stretched I long black sleeve shirt over my head and examined my self in an old full body mirror beside my bed. "I hate you." I said quietly to myself. "Why must I look so human but still be nothing like one?" I touched my pale thigh, my skin was freezing , I slipped a pair of form fitting black jeans I wanted to wear to wear shorts because it was so warm out, but I'm not allowed to for so odd reason. There was so much I didn't know about myself, like who cam up with my name, or why I cant rember anything from before ten,and last why I cant be out in the sun!
  I sat down on my crappy retro sofa that was here from before I moved in. I lives alone all my life, well at least 17 years of it I guess. The apartment I live in is a one bedrooms one bathroom,nothing special, the special part was that it was free and abandond, so no rent.
  When I first moved in there was a homeless couple here they had a little girl whose name was Lizzy,she was always sad looking, with big doey eyes filled with liquid m, I believe those are called tears. Ive never had liquid come out of my eyes.
  Anyway, one night I had in the closet that was in the room that is mine now and late at night when the family fell asleep I lured little Lizzy outside with my. I wasn't sure if she was sleep walking or if I actually woke her up with my mythical powers and she was in trance.
  I made Lizzy fallow me for block until I found a crosswalk that was clear of night doers and then I waited for a car to come, I leaned down and whispered in her small ear to walk, and I kissed her forehead, I told little Lizzy I was sorry. I didn't have any feelings for doing what I did, but her big liquid eyes will always pierce my heart. I walked back to my soon to be home in the pitch black covering my ears.
                                                                            ***
  That poor family left an hour after they woke up. I hid in the closet 20 minutes after they left to make sure they didn't come back. God, I hope they didn't find her body.