An Executive Meets an Environmentalist

One day a successful and high flying corporate executive from a large corporation paid a visit to a strict hermit environmentalist who lived in a nearby forest. The executive wanted the approval of the environmentalist for a new product his company was creating, and he took it upon himself to make the visit in person. He even made a bet with his fellow executives that he would come back with the deal. 

The executive drove to the forest and stopped his Mercedes Benz just outside a grove of trees. He found a tent and in front of it a fire of sweet smelling wood giving off thick grey smoke. He knew that the environmentalist lived in a tent, and soon found him: a young man with tangled hair, a scraggly beard, wearing an old robe that hung down to his knees. He was barefoot, and stared at the executive in his pinstriped suit with disgust after finding out the reason for the visit. 

"I saw that big shot car of yours, mister pinstripes. Sell it right away. It uses up fuel. That's very bad" shouted the environmentalist. "It's just a status symbol!" 

"Sell my Mercedes?" said the executive laughing. "I don't think so! And my name is..." 

"Ill just call you PINSTRIPES!" He then looked at the executive’s expensive tailored Armani business suit, his polished Italian shoes, his briefcase, his silk tie and carefully combed hair and shook his head. 

The environmentalist snapped: "I guess you don’t understand me very well, pinstripes! It is my policy NEVER to harm a living this! NEVER! And you come here dressed like that!"  The sweet smell of the smoke filled the forest.

The executive was embarrassed. "I...I'm afraid don’t understand...Dressed like what?" 

“SUITS and TIES are symbols of white male capitalist oppression, And that’s just the beginning..” 

The environmentalist pointed at the executive’s polished shoes. "Just LOOK at those fancy shoes you're wearing! Don’t you understand that a COW gave its life so you could wear those shoes? Is it more important for YOU to wear nice shoes than for a cow to LIVE?! Are YOU so high and mighty, mister pinstripes?!" 

The executive said nervously "I..I think I know what you mean, but after all, what can I do? I have a VERY important job. I have to dress well. It’s part of my image, my dignity; I can’t just..."  The smoke was blowing in his direction and the young man’s words were ringing in his ears.

The environmentalist yelled "Take them off! Take those high and mighty shoes off NOW and throw them away or I won’t talk to you! It's a nice sunny day. What do you need shoes for anyway?" 

"But these are Ferragamo shoes! They cost a great deal!" gasped the stunned executive. "Perhaps just this once you would make an exception …" 

The executive finally realizes that the environmentalist would not budge, so with a sigh, he untied and stepped out of his Ferragamo shoes, which he had just had polished for that meeting. He picked them up. 

"Well, at least I can put them back on when the meeting is over..." sighed the executive. 

But the environmentalist grabbed them. "Oh no you won't, pinstripes! These shoes don't belong to you - they are part of a cow and cows belong to everyone!" 

"My own shoes don't belong to me?!" said the bewildered executive. "But I just bought them!" 

The environmentalist went on, "Does the cow belong to you? Just look at these shoes! To think a cow used to walk around wearing these! Don’t you feel guilty? APOLOGIZE NOW for wearing shoes!”

“WHAT?” cried the executive. “NEVER!” The fire had died down now but the hazy smoke continued to blow.

“Do you want this interview or not?” screamed the environmentalist. “Just THINK of the tragedy of this cow’s life! And YOU are too arrogant to even admit your are WRONG!”

“ALRIGHT!” cried the executive. “I’m sorry for wearing shoes!”

The environmentalist smiled. “You’ll be a lot closer to the average person without these shoes, anyway mister pinstripes. And what about your briefcase? And your belt? And your wallet?! Hand ‘em over! They’re all leather! ALL OF THEM!" 

The executive begged and pleaded but finally handed over his leather briefcase, his leather wallet and his leather belt.  Then the environmentalist shouted  "Do I am true vegan and do not wear ANY living things. Do YOU care? DO YOU? Those fancy socks look like silk to me. Are they?" 

The executive's mouth dropped open. He tried to avoid the question.

But the environmentalist asked him again. "Well, yes, I am - was - wearing very expensive Italian shoes and silk socks do go well with them, but..I can’t take off my..." 

The environmentalist laughed "It looks like you’ll be doing this interview in your bare feet! Those socks go well with shoes you don't even own anymore! It will be good for a big shot like you! Make you humble, pinstripes!" 

The executive's shoulders sagged. "BAREFOOT! But my DIGNITY! Look can’t we...And what do you mean I don’t own those shoes anymore…?" 

But the executive realized it was hopeless, and slowly, reluctantly peeled off his black silk socks. He stood stunned, barefoot in his Armani  business suit and tie.

He realized the environmentalist was winning one argument after another and that he had no answers, but didn't know how to stop his own transformation.  The sweet smoke, the setting sun, the yelling man all filled his thoughts.

The environmentalist continued, "And that necktie is silk...and the pocket handkerchief..." 

In a moment, the discarded necktie, the pocket square and the fancy socks had been stripped from their former owner and lay in a heap on the ground. 

The executive made one last attempt to control the situation, "Now, let’s get down to business...I am an executive after all" he said briskly. “My time is valuable.” 

“Valuable?” snapped the environmentalist. “Take off your watch. You are a slave to time. Just drop it on the ground…Another symbol of oppression!” 

“I am not an oppressor!” But the executive sighed with frustration, slipped his Cartier watch off his wrist and placed it on the ground. “NOW can we get down to business?” 

But the environmentalist said, "It is a terrible thing to force sheep to give up their warm coats just so YOU can strut around in a nice, pinstriped, expensive business suit!" 

The executive gasped and started to panic, "Not my SUIT! This is a two thousand dollar Armani suit! I had it made for me! You…you didn’t say anything about wool! And…and sheep LIKE having their wool removed. It helps them stay COOL!" he babbled.  He felt like he was drowning.

"And the lining is SILK! Isn't it?" snapped the environmentalist. "WELL?" 

"Yes" said the executive, defeated. "It is silk. Just like my socks. And my tie..." 

"And you know what THAT means! Wool suit! Silk lining!" sneered the environmentalist. "And the sheep have no say in having their wool taken away! It means say goodbye to your Armani suit! Take it off, pinstripes, and hand it over!" 

The executive cried, "NOW WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO RELPACE MY SUIT WITH!? I..I will get cold without my clothes..." he whimpered. 

The environmentalist said, "There’s no need to get upset. I have a fine pair of polyester pants a shirt for you. Tie dye! Now lose the suit, and and that nice white shirt and your silk underwear! You cannot expect me to make a deal with a man who wears the product of a COTTON plant! Your white shirt and your shorts! I guess I'll have to call you another name now! Just let your beard and your hair grow long. That will keep you warm!" 

“Polyester! Tie dye. Let my hair grow!” cried the executive. “Stop shaving. No, no…You can’t be serious..I'm becoming someone else...”

He was on a journey he couldn't stop. 

The environmentalist handed the executive the pair of ragged polyester pants and an old tie-dyed polyester shirt and the executive began to strip off his suit. In a few minutes the environmentalist was holding the executive’s Armani suit and the starched white shirt in his hands. Even his now unnecessary cufflinks were taken from him. 

There was now nothing left of the impeccably dressed, well groomed and clean-cut executive, who now looked like he belonged on the street asking for change, not sitting in an office. His designer underwear fell on top of the pile of clothes and possessions.

“That suit does NOT belong to you anymore! It never DID belong to you! No one can own what belongs to everyone! The shoes and socks. The tie. The briefcase. They do not belong to you .Ownership is an illusion!” chanted the environmentalist.  "Quit your job! Leave behind your former life! Stop wearing shoes and all animal and plants! Leave your car behind! Renounce your education!"

“But this is ridiculous!” shouted the executive. “Of course it is MY suit! I’m putting it back on when I leave here! And the tie. Everything!” He coughed as the smoke filled his lungs and the breeze picked up.

"You have found your true destiny" cried the hermit.

He  was getting very confused.  The thick grey smoke filled his head and he sat down on the damp leaves to think. He was so stunned and disoriented by his own transformation that he didn't realize that the environmentalist had piled all of his expensive business clothes together and disappeared with them. For an hour, the desperate executive searched, but could not find the environmentalist anywhere.  The sun was going down. 

The executive was furious. He had been left without any of the clothes he had arrived in, wearing only foolish rags, and realized his car keys, his watch, his credit cards and his ID had been taken as well. 

He didn’t  get the environmentalist to agree about the product. Even his Armani suit was gone!   

Then he thought: “But that Armani suit doesn’t belong to me anymore. Or those Ferragamos. Wait a minute! What am I saying! Of course they do! I bought them!...Or do they..?”

“Ownership is an illusion. I used to think those were MY Italian shoes. But they weren’t! And I suppose that means my CAR doesn’t belong to me!” 

And as he walked around the forest he started to think and think some more about all that the environmentalist said. He found all of his views changing. 

He suddenly said to himself: “He’s right! I never thought about this before! I shouldn’t abuse living things just so I can dress well! I never even considered that silk worms were enslaved to just make my socks! How ARROGANT  I was! And why should I spend $2,000 on a business suit? How could I? And why should I wear suits anyway? They are symbols of white male capitalist oppression! Why did I always wear a watch? What is time anyway? Or shoes! In fact – why am I a corporate executive? My condo doesn’t really belong to me anyway! From now on, my life will be completely different! I felt strange taking off my – I mean, those – shoes, but now I feel free going barefoot!” 

The executive was forced to walk back to the office in his bare feet but didn't mind. He didn't even think about his car. He told his stunned colleagues that he was quitting his job, leaving behind everything and would join the environmentalist in the forest where he would have his own tent.  He would learn about this new life, free from material possessions.

He had left behind his Mercedes Benz just as he was told to do. He allowed his hair to start growing long and stopped shaving in obedience.  He sold his condo and all of his assets.  He returned to the forest with a beard and shaggy hair, barefoot and wearing only polyester, but the tent was folded up. He found a sign that says: “I’ve been wrong about everything. I have left to start a new life as an executive. Enjoy the tent. P.S. Thanks for the Mercedes and the wristwatch and the credit cards and thanks for all those fancy, expensive clothes. They fit me perfectly. I was wrong. Ownership is not an illusion. Thanks for enlightening me!”