Death.

Some say that life goes on, no matter what.
Storms brew and clouds part to show the bright sun;
losses depart, despair drifts far away.

However, I support the idea that time is not linear; the past still exists and we, in the present, are entering the future at every moment, thus making the future inevitable but also nonexistent.

If life is continual, meaning that the life of a loved one is still being lived, then are they gone? If such is true, how does time truly heal what has not been harmed, how does life go on from what is still in existence? How can someone like me, who believes in a non-linear time, heal and mourn and learn to move from what I have "lost"? How does life "go on"?

Time may not be linear, but time is new and old - to an extent. Time has stopped to the extent that to those I've lost, I've lost new opportunities to laugh and cry with them, to hold and be held, and while I can still love them, can they love me? I can never touch their hands again, never see their smiles, never see them dance and hear their voice and their laugh and look for their hellos.

I can look at pictures, but these pictures only capture what I want to exist. I can look at a picture of my loved one and wish they were here just so I could hug them one more time and ask them why, and cry with them, but I am looking at the pictures from the wrong angle, from outside, and I will never be in that picture again except for in my memories.

So time may not be linear, but time still hurts. That happiness still exists, but does that mean the pain I feel will always exist too? The memories of finding out they were gone? And how do I prevent the feeling of loss from overpowering the memory of happiness, when right now, in the present, and thus in the "future", all I can feel is pain.

That happiness still exists, but the loss has yet to come, or rather pass, because I don't know how it ever will.