Tested Friendship _PART ONE_

"Do you think i care?"
"I thought you did," i mumbled.
"That's not the point," Jayme grumbled softly.
I looked up. "Yeah well i thought i could trust you. But i guess that's another thing i got wrong."
"You can still trust me zeze." he said, his voice more sincere.
I sighed and shook my head, "i dont think i can."
I knew i hurt him when i said that. but i didn't have a choice, i didn't know what to do. Jayme was my best friend, we knew each other since we were five. but all of the sudden he started acting shady.
"Zeze I-"
"No,"I got up of the rock i was sitting on and grabbed my bag. I had to leave before i could change my mind.
But as i turned to go Jayme grabbed my arm, "Zeze,please."
I gently pushed him away i kept my face down. "Jayme, i can't trust you anymore. If i can't trust you i, i don't know. i just need to go think."
"Hey, hey," he grabbed my arm again. "Zeze, please. Look at me," he gently moved hair out of my face.
I whipped my eye with my sleeve and looked up. "What, you going to tell me it's going to be fine. And and that you will tell me soon. or or that, that we can't be seen together, because it's too dangerous."
Jayme's eyes looked sad as he put his hand in mine. "Don't, leave. Just let me explain,somethings."
I quickly looked down and whipped my eys again taking my hand out of his. "Jayme, i can't. I'm sorry, goodbye."
And i took off running tears making my eyes blurry, i whipped them again. I hear Jayme yelling my name but i ignore it. It killed me to leave him but i couldn't stay with him anymore.
I stopped running once i entered the halls of our school. i quickly and quietly slipped into the janitors closet under the stairs. That secretly led into a small study den hidden by a stack of carpets. I discovered last year with Jayme before he changed. I sat on the old leather chair. I couldn't understand why he was like this.
I jumped when i hear a tap on the door. Three taps and a kick on the bottom. It was a code we made up. I sat still hoping he would leave but he entered. He gave me a 'whats up?' nod and i gave him my best 'go the hell away stare'. He sighed i knew he got the message.
He came over and sat on the arm of the chair,"you don't have to talk to me. But just hear me out Zee."
I glared at him but put my feet up on the old table letting him know i was listening. he sighed, and got up and sat next to my feet so he was facing me. O crap, i thought.
"Listen, Zeezee I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Ok, and i know you know im sorry. And im sure you know that i know that you know i know that-"
"Just skip to the end Jayme"I said interrupting him.
He laughed,"okay your right. I was going to tell you that it will be alright but i didnt cause i would've lied. I don't know if there will be a happy ending to my problem or not. And i know that i try to stay away from you because, i just don't want you in this."
Jayme was dead serious, i watched him hold his breath as he waited for my respondes. I couldn't stay mad at him, and i couldn't loose my best friend. I sighed.
"How do i know if i can really trust you?" I asked quietly.
He shrugged and looked down,"you don't."
I finally got up and started pacing. I chewed on the inside of my cheek while Jayme watched me carefully. The way he always done. He's always done it since we were kids. Everything we did he was always the one who got the blame. He always blamed himself. He took the blame for me. I stopped pacing and sat next to him.
"Remember when we were little and we went down to the lake alot. We went secretly of course because our parents would freak if they knew where we really were."
Jayme nodded slowly but his eyes were serious. "Yeah, thats all we ever did."
"Yeah, well remember that one time we were hanging out on the old dock we found. And i was afraid to go on it because it was old and pieces were missing."
Jayme nodded again, so i continued. "And you asked me if i trusted you? And i without a pause of hesitantion i grabbed your hand as you led me out on the dock.I trusted you then Jayme, there wasn't a bone in my body that didn't."
Jayme looked down, and smiled slightly.
I sighed, "but there was that one day. We went to the dock and ia bunch of older kids were there. They were teasing you about, well how you hung out with a girl and not with them. i was seven amd you were eight though, but still you stuck by my side." I stopped waiting for his reaction, i knew Jayme forgot about that day because he got hurt protecting me.
Jayme sighed, "some of that i remember yeah."
I chewed on my lip. "Those kids were alot older they were probably ten or twelve. But you stood your ground and when one of them spit on me and called me a freak you punched him before i could blink." i paused and laughed, "it was a pretty damn good punch too Jayme. Then Ronnie the twelve year old punched you in the gut while the others held you."
Jayme blinked, "i don't remember that. But i do remember you kicking Ronnie in the crotch when we went back to school the next week."
I just smiled and nodded i couldn't tell Jayme that he wasn't in school for the next month; because he got so sick with phenomia. "You fell in the lake, do you rember that? You went to get up to protect me and Ronnie shoved you and you fell off the dock. It was frozen til you hit it and it broke. Ronnie ran off cause youmust of hit you head cause when you came up out of the water you head was bleeding. Right there," i paused touching Jayme's threeinch long scar on side of his forehead. Moving his bangs outof his eyes to do so.
Jayme blinked a few times. " You never told me that."
"You were sick for a month, you were in the hospital for a little too." I answered looking down at my hands in my lap.
"Wait,"Jayme said "I remember. you helped me out of the lake and you had a gash on your knee."
I nodded,"yeah and you insisted on carrying me you thought i was hurt."
"Yeah, and i carried you anyway even though my head stung and i couldn't feel me feet."Jayme answered and he grabbed my hand."
"I thought i lost you, i thought i lost my best friend." I answered quietly.
I felt Jayme kiss my head, "It's gonna take alot more then cold water and blood for you to get rid of me ZeeZee."
I let out a long breath, "I'm afraid im going to lose you again Jayme. That's why im asking questions. And ive always trusted you wether i liked it or not. Or wether you liked it or not."
"Good, now i guess were in this together wether i like it or not. Or wether you like it or not."Jayme said standing up.
I stood up too, "I guess so."