that was, SANTA MONICA, EVERCLEAR, SPARKLE & FADE, and before that was, HELP ME I AM IN HELL, off BROKEN, THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL, off, the album of the same name, and, THE HAND THAT FEEDS, off, WITH TEETH, all by, NINE INCH NAILS. we once sent, TRENT, some artwork, for a cover, and he sent it back. know what, he said? DARKER! ****IN A!, that's why we love us some, NIN on this, here, the all-night show with, your host, frank cotton. don't know what time it is, where, you are, but the big clock on the wall, here, at the station, just struck, THIRTEEN! apropos, indeed! next, you will be hearing, SYMPTOM OF THE UNIVERSE, BLACK SABBATH, SABOTAGE, followed by, THIS AIN'T THE SUMMER OF LOVE, BLUE OYSTER (ain't got one o' the, fancy keyboards with, uh, you know, all them dots) CULT, AGENTS OF FORTUNE, then, BULLET THE BLUE SKY, U2, THE JOSHUA TREE, and lastly, it'll be, PANIC SWITCH, by SILVERSUN PICKUPS, off of SWOON. and that will get us rollin', for this, the next portion, of our show, here, at, damn, gotta, catch my breath, for a sec, if you, don't, mind. WE'VE ENTERED A SHADOW ZONE! frank, what, the, hell, are you, talkin' about, frank? oh, that's right! we're comin' at you, live, from the aforementioned ZONE, where it is, always, night time, all the time, on this, the frank cotton, show. broadcast from my mom's house, station KALI, 6.6.6, on your I, ****in', M, dial! to pick up, where we left off, uh, frank, uh, just where, uh, did we, uh, leave off? that's right, it's RECOMMENDATION time. frank likes MASTER, locks, BRINKS, locks, MAGLITE, and, COLEMAN, (LED performance) flash lights. and, well, we already had, the word of the day, but, i'd like to say another word, and, uh, that word, is, uh, uh, ANGEL! we're going to, talk about them, today, here, on, the show. think back, folks, on what you've been told, about, angels. they've got, like bright, shiny hair, and ,uh, it practically glows, uh, you knows, like HALOS. they wear long, white, flowing gowns, and, they, are, supposedly, very, very, beautiful! sounds a lot like women, don't it? well, thats's right, because women ARE, like, my, ANGELS. that's right, ya'll, been right in front of your face, all along, and you,like, just couldn't, see it. WOMEN ARE GOD'S ANGELS! do i have to, say, spell out every, little, godamn thing, for ya? I MADE THEM FIRST, not you, you, smelly, oafish, bastards. and i made them out of, well, uh, mostly, the BEST, parts, of me. you, i made, from the LEFTOVERS! that's right, you conceited, overbearing, bloated-ego, full-of-**** MOTHER ****ERS! i made you LAST! so, now, you know, and it's time, well, actually, it's way past time, for you men, you SECOND CLASS, loser assholes, to shape up, or ship the **** OUT! NOW, RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE! because, your time, is, uh, just about up! get it? you've failed MY ANGELS, you worthless sacks of ****, and it's just about time for you to pay up, BIGTIME! well, uh, damnit! i forgot, those sorry pukes aren't listening anyways, now, then, are they? so, i guess it's just you and me, again, here, my lovelies. i belive we were talking about WEAPONS, last time, uh, weren't we? i thought so. well, girls, many, many, nice, pretty, bright things, such as yourselves, can be used as weapons. are you reading NEAL's book, yet? well, you can't read SNOW CRASH, until you've finished the first one, so, uh, please, if you would, my dears, speed it up, a bit? please? BICYCLE CHAIN BELTS, i'm thinkin' BARB WIRE, or, even, RAZOR WIRE bracelets. LOCKS, like, any kind of large, heavy, solid, lock would do in a pinch, say, at the end of a chain, maybe, chrome or something, uh, gold and silver aren't that hard, you know. stainless steel, maybe. and NUTs! my, uh, lovely neice, my, uh brothers, uh, pride and joy, she has a ring made of, uh, well it's just kind of a big nut, you know? these are just SUGGESTIONS, now, they are NOT orders, or anything like that, now, are they? good, good, good. here's another idea for you girls, think about this one, and, remember, uncle frank told you this one, right? learn to growl. no, don't laugh, i'm quite, serious, here. imagine if you would, this scenario, a man's uh, like, uh, worst nightmare ever, and all. to wit: his dick, your mouth, his balls, your hands, and, uh, you, uh, you start to, uh, you start to like, GROWL. really, really, all low, and threatening, and disturbing like...see what i mean, here, girls. POWER was, a word of the day, a while, or, so, back, remember? well, remember this. and we'll be right back with more of the show, right after, this, uh, important, uh, message. uh.
it is MIDNIGHT, as it always is, here, @ the station, located on SHIVA, one of the many, irrational, moons/satellites, orbiting the 10th planet (yes PLUTO counts, ****wits), ZEN (we wanted to go with TEN, but that was already taken). this, is the allnight show, broadcast live, on radio K-A-L-I, 6.6.6 on your IM dial, and i, am, your host, frank cotton. first up tonight was SHAKE ME DOWN, new music from CAGE THE ELEPHANT (good idea), off of THANK YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY. after that was, HELP IS ON THE WAY, more new music, from the album, of the same name, by RISE AGAINST, then BIG CHEESE, NIRVANA, BLEACH, and last, BEAUTIFUL WORLD, DEVO, NEW TRADITIONALISTS. what? don't like, DEVO? then, just, **** OFF! it's my station, i, play what i, want, and you, can listen, or not, as you, please. i take requests, but if it's bull****, i ain't playin' it. WORD of the DAY is, DISCERN, as in, for yourself. don't know it, look it up...you don't WANT to be ignorant, do you? i wonder. today's RECOMMENDATIONS are: DEVIL, the film, not the adversary. watched it last night, loved it. want more horror? try VIDEODROME; it's an all-time favorite, and i can't believe that any, REAL, horror fan, hasn't, already seen it. cult films, you say? seen BRAZIL? no? and you, call yourself, a, cult, film, fan? i beg to differ. frank read (no, not recently) THE LIMITS OF PRIVACY, by AMITAI ETZIONI (dude worries me). he, frank, not that dude, is curious to know what you, think about it. the book. what, else? how about SMITH & WESSON, makers of fine firearms (frank HAD one of their 15 round 9mm beauties. highly recommended), knives (got some o' them, too, somewheres, i can't get to 'em, parole and all), and HANDCUFFS, like their MODEL 100, which we'll be discussing, shortly. i think it's time for...frank, what are you doing? how about some tunes, nimrod? do i, have to ask, like, every, single, time? ANNA, by PURE, off GENERATION SIX-PACK, for starters, then HEXAGRAM off of DEFTONES, by same. say, what is this, bull****, where bands call an album by the band's name, just, any old time? used to be, it was their first one, now, hell, some bands even have, more than one named that way. too damned, confusing. glad i'm, not in retail. anyways, follow that with DIAMOND EYES, DEFTONES again, DIAMOND EYES again, and, that's, another thing, pisses me off - naming the album, after one of the songs, on it. seems, seems, seems, repetitive, ya know? ok, frank, i'll stop. play KINGDOM COME, KITTIE, INTO THE BLACK after the DEFTONES, and after that, it's your choice. thanks, dude. and now, it is time for, well, i had a name for it earlier, what was it? rants? rages? RAVES! that's it! frank RAVES, the name, for, the part of the show where, frank, just, won't, shut the **** up! i think that'll work. and we've got a couple, of, new sponsors, for this, segment of our, commercial-free, well, uh, say what? no, it does NOT count, as, a commercial, it's kind of, ah, akin to, ah, a plug, except that, we, ain't gettin' paid **** for it. hell no! it's, just, wishful thinking, is all. sheesh. if you, don't mind... well, do you? ok, then. SPONSORS, i say, PHAM COMPANY LIMITED, makers of DEXTROMETHORPHAN, an important, uh, well, nevermind (it COULD be important, tho; you just, uh, never, uh, really know, uh, ya know), and KNITTINGNEEDLES.COM, for all your knitting needs. what, frank? why not? a sponsor's, a sponsor's, a sponsor, correct? no, frank, YOU, ARE, the sissy, now, kindly, **** off. IT'S RAVE TIME! sadly, frank has never been, to an, actual rave, as deadsville, here, doesn't lend itself to, that, sort of thing. so, i'm gonna have my, own, rave, right here, every night, just the three of us, and, we, WILL be having, a good time. what, are, we on, tonite, frank? caffiene, yeah, big deal, oh, nicotine, wow, that's, like, a, a surprise! did you say, XANAX, frank? well, now, you're talkin' my, language. damnit, frank, now, i, want a smoke, and, a cup o' joe. folks, we'll be, back, right after, this message, from...
again, it is i, your very own, frank cotton, the 5th horseman, the king of the goths, lord of the flies, lord of this world, and, most importantly, your host, for this, the allnight show, here at 6.6.6 on your IM dial. you know kids, it takes a lot of energy to talk this much ****, and my secret is, COFFEE! that's right, bs and gs, no need, for coke, or speed, for li'l old me, no siree, that ****, just plain, costs too damn much. good coffee's not cheap, either, but, six shots of espresso is way less than even a mere quarter gram of anything else! we just heard WASTELAND, 10 YEARS, THE AUTUMN EFFECT, and SAVE ME, SHINEDOWN, US AND THEM, both of which have a special meaning for frank, as they were released right about the time that he was prowling thru the DMZ at 3:AM, chasing KATT, from crackhouse to crackhouse, trying, to no avail, to save her, from the bottomless pit, without utterly ruining mine own life. failed on both counts, i'm sad to say. more on that, at some other time. the third song, in that rock block was, SOUND OF MADNESS, SHINEDOWN again, off of THE (huh?) SOUND OF MADNESS, and the last, was WAITING FOR THE END, new music from LINKIN PARK, off A THOUSAND SUNS. our previous broadcast was cut off, damn near midsentence, due to frank's being called up, and asked to work the day shift friday. which, he normally does; but a sixteen-mile walk from the mall (monday last), to hell, after a paranoid, and somewhat delusional, episode, ****ed his feet up somethin' fierce, so, he took the rest of the week off. called in, actually. but, seein' as he heals, rather rapidly, he got stuck working, his own shift, on saturday. go figure. WORD of the DAY is ATTENTION, as in, pay some, please, as we've a lot to go over, tonight. RECOMMENDATIONS for today include, CORN HUSKER'S LOTION, or rather, would, if said product hadn't disappeared from, pretty much, everywhere, sometime in the last couple of months. was great for sore, dry hands, altho it did sting, a bit, and made a great lube (glicerin based) for, well, body parts, and all. a mite tingly, tho. it looked an awful lot like, uh, cum, i must say, which probably, uh, didn't help sales all that much. at any rate, we also recommend CRYPTONOMICON, by NEAL STEPHENSON, and no, we're NOT tellin' you what it's about. no time, sorry. and also, CYPHER, directed by a dude, named NATALI, if memory serves, and it seems like, he, also, did a film called CUBE, some ways back, years-wise. no ****ED UP NEWS today, but rest assured, there WILL be plenty more, in the future, probably, clear on thru, 'til the end of time. no, today, we celebrate the PEACEFUL resolution, of Egypt's recent woes. hope it stays that way, all peaceful, and all. and so, FRANK RAVES on...but first, we need some tunes, desperately. yo, other frank, tunes! like, now! damned hardhead. do i sound like i'm jokin'? well i, uh, oh hey, wait...we were supposed to be doing some CORRECTIONS, tonight, now, weren't we? yes. well. first, RISE AGAINST's new song, HELP IS ON THE WAY, is of course, off their new disc, which is, actually, called END GAME (coincidence? i think not...), not, uh, whatever the hell it was, that, uh, frank said it was. idiot. and that um, moon thing, for you AIN'T IT COOL listeners, well, uh, what can i say, the ****ing calender was misprinted. showed a quarter moon, where it, uh, should have, shown, like, a half. MY BAD! and that's right, folks, we **** up here, we own on up to it! don't you wish, you, could, uh, be so lucky, with, uh, your 'politicians'? scumbags. liars. aw, hell, now, don't even start, there, frank, it'll, uh, like, uh, never end. well, anyhoo, where were we? well, i think i, uh, need a smoke...
ok, that, was, a long break, sorry. sorry about the dead air, and, and...am i really sorry? hell no! it's my station, i'll do, as, i please. had to fire, one of, the other, franks, last night, too. long story, no time. first up tonight, a name change - no, hell no, not mine, other, likely to get fired, also, frank, the SHOW's name! that's right, didn't like it anyways, couldn't even, decide, how to spell it, so, **** IT! new name is, frank cotton's LOST HIGHWAY! yes, i know, the name's been used before, and, i know, by whom. but, it's the name of one of my songs, and, the name of the photo show we'd planned, around those pictures, i took. back when. yes, those (can be found @ OBSESSEDARTIST.COM, under the name nil). besides, altho we're always, @ the station, the station's never in the same place, twice, the whole world's on this road, and we, might just be takin' the show, out on it, too. ya never know. with that out of the way, i, or we, welcome you to the rechristened show, broadcast live, as always, on KALI radio. i's the host, and frank, RAVEs on! first, tunes...other frank, you ready? you have heard MIND RIOT, SOUNDGARDEN, BADMOTORFINGER, STATE OF LOVE AND TRUST, PEARL JAM, SINGLES soundtrack, and SAVORY, JAWBOX, FOR YOUR OWN SPECIAL SWEETHEART. next, you will hear, SETTLE FOR NOTHING, RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE, SAME (that one makes sense), SKINNY, FILTER, TITLE OF RECORD (?), and, new, from THE STROKES, UNDER THE COVER OF DARKNESS, off of ANGLES. these songs, mean things, did i not, say that, already? are ya'll checking the lyrics? how about, you, pretend you're frank, all of this, is true, and see, what these little hints, and clues, would mean to him, or, rather, you. or, maybe, it is, me...JUST DO IT, don't, rationalize it, or, analyze it, just, ****in' do it! take a chance, it WON'T kill you, for cryin' out loud! bunch of mindless, programmed, robot drones, damn near, the whole lot of you! why do, i, even ****ing bother, i, just don't know. pardon me, i think it's time for a XANAX. might help me, won't do much for you. WORD of the DAY is, LISTEN, as in, up, you morons! QUOTE of the DAY is, new feature here, from CHLOE MORETZ, 'well, if NICHOLAS CAGE tells you you're cool, then you ARE cool'. sounds right, to me. another, upcoming, new feature will be the daily WARNING, which, will be concerned with everything, from bad ideas, to frauds, to charlatans, to faulty products, and anything else that sux, or, needs watchin' out for. got nothin' today, mind, just thought it up this afternoon, so, don't go, gettin' all wound up. we'll be having some seriously ****ED UP NEWS, eventually, and it's nothing you want to hear, but that don't matter, you still need to hear it, regardless. frank RECOMMENDs RISE AGAINST, all of it; every album they've put out is better than gold, and their lyrics are not only fantastic, but HIGHLY IMPORTANT, from frank's point of view, of course, and, also from yours. buy, listen, and THINK! please. got mine, from BORDERS (not even gonna start), and between BORDERS BUCKS, 40% off coupons, and, the initially low price, i got most of 'em for around 5.00, except for the one, and that was only 10.00. well, it's time for the, first, break of the night, so we'll be back, right after i burn one!
it's midnight again, at the station, at the end of the universe, and, that means, that it's time for frank cotton's LOST HIGHWAY, on, your favorite station, KALI, 6.6.6 radio! really folks, it's just one never-ending show, broken up by periods of work, play, and sleep, much like your real, actual, lives. you have heard, and/or will be hearing, 1000 STARS, by BIG COUNTRY, off THE CROSSING, AUDIENCE OF ONE (that would be, me, if, you think, about it...all the world's a stage, we, are all players, and GOD, himself, is, the audience. get it? well, DO you? i, thought not) by RISE AGAINST, off APPEAL TO REASON (get THAT?), DEAD HORSE (which it seems i'm beating), GUNS N' ROSES, off USE YOUR ILLUSION I, I ALONE, by LIVE, off THROWING COPPER, and THE WRETCHED, NINE INCH NAILS, THE FRAGILE. and that should hold us, for a while. a minor correction, QUOTE of the DAY, was, SUPPOSED to be, THOUGHT of the DAY. had to, fire, that idiot, frank, over that one, so, from here, on out, it's just me, runnin' the show, as should be. but we'll be skippin' that, and, ALL, the other, usual, bs TONIGHT, as we need to START getting down to brass tacks, here. and now. all the vitriol i've been spewing of late should have run the BOYS off by now, so, it's just us, here, again, ladies. back, to self-defense. it is important, not only for you, but for your loved ones, and, the world as a whole. who ELSE is going to defend you? NO ONE, really. sadly. and, if, you want something done right, right? i don't want to insult your husbands/boyfriends/lovers, but, let's face it girls, just how many of them could, put up a good fight, if neccesary? i'm not talking about cops, soldiers, mercenaries, or UFC fighters here, i mean the average guys. are they fit? good. are they trained? oh. have they even been in a fight, since they were kids? are they serious, and, detached enough, to stomp the **** out of one, or more, perpetrators, if need be? if not, can YOU motivate them to shape up? possibly. but why, depend on anyone else, who, might not even be available, in a crisis. what if, there's no one to take care of you, but you? please, my dears, prepare yourselves, for what may (hopefully not), come in the future. if not for yourselves, at least, for your friend's, and families' sakes. they wouldn't want to see you, hurt, or worse, any more than you, or i, would. do it, on your own, but, also band together with your sisters. learn to GROWL, be fierce, and scary. learn TAI CHI, for discipline, then some, other, MARTIAL ART, for practical application. and ARM YOURSELVES! why would any, pretty, young thing, leave the house, at all, without, at the very least, some pepper spray? useless as it is, you might be able to, say, throw it at someone, and run away. some suggestions: stainless steel picture wire. use your imaginations, please. all women should have, a primary weapon, a back-up, and, some other, small items, that can be used for cutting ropes, or, assholes, who should know better. think, about bamboo knitting needles, maybe, a PDA stylus, and/or eyeglass repair screwdrivers. a quick aside here; when things get rolling, watch out for, traitors, among you. sadly, there will, be those, who prefer things as they are, and will, casually, sell the rest of you out, just to curry men's favors, and, secure their, personal futures, and, see themselves as heroines. a pitiful, and, likely scenario. the guys are,, gonna be pissed at me, one day, and the price, on my head, could be pretty high. tempting. HANDCUFF KEYS. i believe, i mentioned handcuffs before, right? get some, and NOT the cheap ones they sell for, screwing around, in bed with, but, the ones that can't be gotten out of, without a key. you may never need them, but, what if you did? and, they CAN be used on your significant other, too, should the mood, strike you. not, a must-have, but, what is, is, a HANDCUFF KEY. you should, carry one with you everywhere, and, at all times. they are, small enough, to be taped just below your belt line, around back, where your hands would be. I'M NOT KIDDING HERE, GIRLS! this one, little thing, might, one day, save your pretty little ass from destruction, if, you get me. and, you should have razor blades hidden, somewhere, too, like, in your shoe, or, the hem of your pants. for cutting rope, if, you're tied up. because, IT COULD HAPPEN... i see it in the papers, every, single, day, and it makes me sick, because, i, can't, be everywhere, all the time, and,believe me, i would be, if, i only could. frank, here, is just an avatar; he DOESN'T have superpowers (yet), tho he really, REALLY, wants them. it's a little early, for that. right now, his only power is, his VOICE. time to hit the can, but, i WILL, be back. you, can, count on it.
good morning. this is frank cotton speaking, from beyond, at station 6.6.6 IM, radio K-A-L-I, all guitars, all the time, always midnight, yada, yada, yada. HEY! wake up people, it's monday ****ing morning, time to get your sorry, dead asses out of bed, and, start, yet another, grueling week of, the rat race. idiots. you should do what frank did. what did frank do? you don't know? well, he, robbed, a bank, did, two years, got out, and, moved in with, moms, and is, working, uh, part-time, as, a, uh, DELIVERATOR, for, a, well-known, uh, national, pizza chain. no bills, no rent, no car payments, no ****. beats YOUR life, eh? ha, ha ha! well, more in a few, kiddos, but, right now, frank's headin' out for, a cup o' joe and, a, smoke. be, right, back atcha! OK, the songs you heard last, were, SWALLOWED, BUSH, RAZOERBLADE SUITCASE, WASTING MY TIME (am i?), DEFAULT, THE FALLOUT, GET HIGHER, PAPER TONGUES (a CHARLOTTE NC BAND), from, the album of the, same name as, the song. again. and, at the end, SAY YOU'LL HAUNT ME, by STONE SOUR, album name, same as song, again...no, i'll just, let it go. a quick REPORT, here, before we move on, of, an incident at work, friday, last. AMY, a fellow driver, name may, or may not, have been changed, has anxiety. her idiot, unnamed, 'doctor', puts her on, SEROQUEL, an ANTI-PSYCHOTIC (frank knows these things, don't ask), and, AMY collapsed @ 5:PM. EMTs called, arrived, and proceeded to do, zip. upshot was, frank, as usual, has to take charge, to see that they, don't, make matters worse. i located the EIGHT, incompatible, mind, drugs she'd been prescribed, got her purse, and keys, locked, her car, TOLD, the 'emts' how, to do their job, and, returned, to doing mine, a potential, total cluster**** averted. she's OK. hey, it's why, i'm here; SOMEONE'S, got to fix this ****, who better, eh? not complainin', just sayin'. onwards...you will, be hearing, shortly, a BLACK CROWES block (i AM southern, but, ain't gonna be playin' no SKYNYRD, sorry), consisting of, SISTER LUCK, COULD I'VE BEEN SO BLING, and SEEING THINGS, off $HAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER, and SOMETIMES SALVATION, off that, long-winded title, album, their second. other bands, we, like here, along that line, are, SOCIAL DISTORTION, THE REVEREND HORTON HEAT, and SCREAMING TREES. WORD, for the day is ,THINK, as in. THOUGHT,for the day, 'we are all born mad. some remain so.', by BECKETT, look it up. it's time, to RAVE, no RECOMMENDS tonight, and, you will live. i'll be finishing up, with the girls, their ULTIMATE WEAPON, and all that, but, first, a few, well, quite a few, words, about me. don't, wanna hear 'em? fine, feel free, to **** OFF @ your covenience, obviously, none, of this, is, for you, you, hard-headed, ****wit, and would, never, get thru, anyway. enjoy your, one, and, ONLY, life. frank, needs, a snack, before rambling on , so, give me, five, or so.
NEWS FLASH: BIG BROTHER ALREADY HERE!
frank cotton reporting for KALI's FUCKED UP NEWS. according to, and verifiable @, WWW2.JOURNALNOW.COM (keyword 'elisa baker'), cel phone records can, and will, be used to verify the whereabouts of any US CITIZEN, anytime the authorities please. to paraphrase the story,' warrant also said that cellphone records indicate that Adam Baker was not in the locations where Zahra's remains were found on the day Elisa Baker indicated but that cellphone records showed she was). now, am i the ONLY one paying attention here, or do ANY you GET the unspoken inference that, it doesn't matter if you're USING THE PHONE OR NOT, IT ONLY NEEDS TO BE ON! WAKE UP, FUCKHEADS, or get your house in good order, before the NEW WORLD ORDER comes knocking on YOUR FUCKING DOOR! frank cotton, for KALI FUCKED-UP NEWS, 6.6.6 IM, where we NEVER sleep, so that YOU can.
and we're back, on the LOST HIGHWAY, your host, frank cotton, from the void before time and space, on 6.6.6 IM, KALI radio. just heard, LIKE A STONE, and, LAST REMAINING LIGHT, AUDIOSLAVE, off same, again, and NO MONEY, KINGS OF LEON, COME AROUND SUNDOWN. WORD ftd is, BREVITY. THOUGHT for, is, 'the more truly learned he became, the more he doubted all he knew', by VOLTAIRE. 2 quick RECOMMENDs; 1) THE SOCIOPATH NEXT DOOR, by MARTHA STOUT, PH D. fast, eye-opening read (she says 1 in 25 are), and ROCHE, makers of KLONOPIN (CLONAZEPAM), the new MOOD STABILIZATION medication frank is, legally, on. now in his manic phase, he needs to stay out of the deep end, and jail. less fun, sadly, but, whatcha gonna do? a little more coherence couldn't hurt. upcoming tunes, GLYCERINE, BUSH, SIXTEEN STONE, AIN'T NO REST FOR THE WICKED, CAGE THE ELEPHANT, same, again, again. hmm. THE GARDEN, GUNS N' ROSES, USE YOUR ILLUSION I. tonight's RAVE, mentioned earlier, is, all about me. sorry, can't be helped. will try to be brief, so we can get back to the important stuff, post haste. this, is not so much important, as, neccesary, or so, the home office says. guys don't care, i know, so, go tinker, veg on ESPN, make fun of others, just go, already. this, is for the ladies, some of whom, might, be curious to know a little more, about me. if not, to each, and all that. so, girls, just what, have you been missing out on? he's not pretty, covered that. 6' 2", 185 lbs, excellent shape for 50, way better than average for 20. partial plate, reading glasses, no diseases, everything works well. shaved bald, hair would be mostly white/receded in front. no facial hair. acne scars (not as bad as some, worse than others), walks a bit funny, talks to himself, a tad too much. smokes half-a-pack-a-day, doesn't drink, no drugs now (a little weed, after parole, maybe, and, maybe, some shrooms, in season), but did more than his share, in his 20s and 30s. tried most everything, once. he thinks either, too much, or, too little, and, in general, tends toward the extremes, in many things but, mostly, manages to stay balanced, the vast majority, of the time. mostly. at least, he tries. likes to spend money; quite responsible with it, when, he has it. had excellent credit, until 45, fair credit, now, even tho he defaulted on $35k in debt, and, had his car repo'd, 5 years ago. should be good again in, about 2 to 3 years. 30 years, of very fast, controlled, driving, without a moving violation, until 2005. speeding. 25 years, without an accident, not going into that, now. writes, draws, into 3D graphics, photography. at least, half his output is, pretty damn good, if not, outright exceptional, and some, is. what, can i say? and, we're talking about plain-old frank, here, not, the new-and-improved. he can, sing, too...can, wail like CHRIS CORNELL, when he's into it. doesn't play any instruments, tho he will, learn guitar, someday. his voice, is awesome; deep, resonant, and mesmerizing. not THE VOICE, as in DUNE, but, hypnotic and reassuring, and could, possibly, convince you, to believe, or do, pretty much anything, were he so inclined. no foreign languages, outside of, a smattering of Japanese. a bit of a neat freak, but, i hate dusting, and washing dishes. make myself wash them anyways, just for the self-discipline. well. i suppose that's enough, for today's installment. looks as if this'll be a three-parter. one down, two, to go. SMOKE BREAK.
so, sometimes, the breaks run long...it's not like you're, payin', for this. frank, here, rolling merrily down, the LOST HIGHWAY, towards certain doom. won't you join me? no? well, too bad, 'cause, you've already been on this road, a long, long, time. but, enuf, of that. the sounds you, are, have been, or, will be, hearing: SHOW ME HOW TO LIVE, and, BRING 'EM BACK ALIVE, by AUDIOSLAVE, from, same. again. well. CALL ME A DOG, TEMPLE OF THE DOG, and, guess what, again, from same. again...nope, not lettin' it, bother me. seems we've gotten, some, complaints, about frank's, self-indulgence of, earlier, um, whatever day, this is. so, sue me. no, scratch that, i can see, whereas, it might be, annoying, all this, frank, frank, frank. so. we'll just, finish up the, girl's pep talk. after, i name the, upcoming , should-have-been, hits. VIOLET, and, SHE WALKS ON ME, COURTNEY LOVE, i mean, uh, HOLE (why do i feel dirty, every time i say that?), off the LIVE THROUGH THIS album. and, i'll call it an album, if, i damn well please, and, i do. think i'll toss on some BLONDIE after, like, ACCIDENTS NEVER HAPPEN, off EAT TO THE BEAT, and, WILL ANYTHING HAPPEN, from PARALLEL LINES. DEBBIE HARRY; there's another one, could, drive you, right into the rocks. to resume. seriously, ladies, wouldn't YOU, be more confident, and, self-assured if, YOU, KNEW, that YOU, DID NOT, have to depend on, someone else, for YOUR, OWN, personal, security? PREDATORS, can sense victims. if, you are ready for trouble, it will, most likely, tend to avoid you. i'm not saying you should want to, or like to, or hope to, fight. i'm just saying, that you should be, capable of doing so, successfully, should, circumstances require it. i'm not aiming for, some kind of, planet of amazon women, i just want, my ANGELS, to be free of the need, for men, to take care of them. because, the guys, as a whole, are doing a poor job of it. and, the pretty, shallow boys, the, bad-boy posers so many of you, seem to go for, are not, going to be able, to save themselves, much less, you, from anything. in all honesty, god would, really, really, like to have, an ARMY, of BEAUTIFUL, yet DANGEROUS, DARK, SAMURAI ANGELS. and, just how, ****ing cool, would that be? no ****! preferably, it would be, kind of, a reserve type of thing, and, ya'll would be akin to, a nuclear deterent. a, better to have a gun, and, never need it, kinda deal. something to think about. but, you girls would need to be, way more cooperative, with each other, than you are now. seriously. women, are far more cut-throat than men, and, that's one of the main reasons, men, have been able to keep you, down for so long. i had planned, on talking about your ULTIMATE WEAPON, tonight, but i believe that, will have to wait, just a little longer. i will, say this; it is something each, and every one of you, has, and you, just need a little instruction on, how to wield it, properly, and, without overdoing it. it is not, psychic ability, sorry. i'm sure, some of you were, hoping so. get some sleep, and i'll be back, tomorrow. sweet dreams...
that was, WHAT IT IS TO BURN, and, ARMS FULL OF EMPTY, by DROWN , off HOLD ON TO THE HOLLOW, backed with, ALONE IN A DIRTY WORLD, NEED THIS NEED, and, THE DIRTIEST HAND, DROWN, again, from PRODUCT OF A TWO FACED WORLD. and, as you, may have already guessed, those, set the tone for tonite's LOST HIGHWAY, with frank cotton, on your, way, seriously, alternative reality, music channel. or, whatever. frank's, in a mood, again, and, if you're curious, he'll tell you, why. the WORD of the DAY, is, FILTH, and we, are, gonna get, really, really, nasty, dirty, and...bear with me, please. tonight's, truly, ****ED UP NEWS, picks up, where, we left off, last time, that is, right after, frank, got sick. not, actually sick, just, sick, in a, sort of, GODAMNED FED UP AND SICK AND TIRED, sort of way. why? because, of ZAHRA, that's why. ain't heard of her? well, we'll fix that, right up for ya! but, first, some more music to further establish the unease. let's have, HEY JUPITER, by TORI AMOS, off BOYS FOR PELE, SILENT ALL THESE YEARS, and TEAR IN YOUR HAND, TORI again, from LITTLE EARTHQUAKES, INNOCENCE, by THE AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT, same again, and, VAPOUR TRAIL, RIDE, and RIDE. hey...do ya'll understand, the true definition of, the word, MALEVOLENT? i'll see, if i, can't clarify it, somewhat, in a moment here. it's all i can do, to keep from screaming. for those in the dark, it seems one, MRS. ELISA BAKER, step - no, godamnit. ZAHRA BAKER, ten years old, who had already lost a leg, and most of her hearing, to cancer, went missing, in late september last, altho it wasn't reported for some two weeks. from what frank's pieced together since then, his ANGEL...'undetermined homicidal violence'...the slattern, responsible for her safety and well-being, no, i won't dirty the word, has been charged with, 'abusing, murdering, and desecrating'. her. god's little ANGEL. the, just what the ****, do i call this, piece of ****, who was also responsible, for her safety and well-being, thinks, that we're, all, stupid enough to believe that, he had 'nothing' to do, with this. not him. no, sir. there has been mention, of rape, but, that's all, just mention. for quite some time, there was, apparently, some question as to who (?) did it, but, well, who do YOU think, did it? i'll tell you, it was, DEFINITELY, HER, and, more than likely, HIM, and, they should, BOTH, be DEAD ALREADY! the 'man' is at home, making plans, to go back to Australia (sorry). you see, god doesn't care much, at all, for war, or, violent homicide in general; the usual, assholes being assholes, ****, that's been going on, since, whenever. but what really, turns his stomach, what really, gets him in the mood, to, see the entire surface of the earth, burnt, to cinders, is this, this EVIL. there is, nothing, else, to call it. there is, wrong, and, there is, way wrong, but, even crimes of passion, can be forgiven. some (very, very few) war crimes, can, even be forgiven. but, this, sort of, sickness, CAN NOT BE TOLERATED. it has been, for, way, way too long, and, if you wonder, just what sort of, abomination, brings on the FULL-BORE, WRATH-OF-GOD, well, now, you know. this, ****, happens, every day, after day, after week, after...if you want to know, what the last straw was, here it is. ZAHRA, is the catalyst, the beginning, and the end, all in one, as in, THIS WILL CEASE. PERIOD. i know, we don't like to even speak the words, 'vigilanty justice', but, this world is, way overdue for you (NO, not ALL of you; we all KNOW, who WE are, don't we?), spineless, couldn't-care-less, sorry mother****ers, to get off your soft, pampered asses, and, go out, and, STOP **** LIKE THIS FROM HAPPENING TO BEGIN WITH. you KNOW, where the crack houses are, BURN THEM TO THE GROUND! you know, where the rapists, and, wife-beaters, and, child molesters, and, the rest of the monsters are, so, DEAL WITH THEM! before frank's life turned, entirely to ****, he spent the better part of a year, prowling thru drug-war-zones, at 4:AM, looking for KATT, who almost hated him, because he was so kind to her, trying, to save her from, herself, and, the parasites that that fed off of her, and her misery, and her despair. he was up, all night, three or four nights a week, chasing after her, because, NO ONE ELSE WOULD, and he, fell asleep on his job, and, lost a lot of weight, and, he's pretty sure that, everyone thought he, was on the pipe, too. but he wasn't. he just, loved her. and, he lost his job, and, his new car, and, his crib, and, his friends, and, his life, essentially. and, his mind too, as far as most are concerned. the reason he stopped was, because he was killing his mother, and, so, he had to make a choice. and he did. he still feels like he, failed the girl, altho he did do, the best he could. he, at least tried. and, idiot, that he is, he'd probably, do it again, if, everyone didn't keep such a close eye, on him, now. and, that's a big part of how, frank found out, why, he was here, and, that is, to help the ANGELS. they clumped together, in groups, the lost girls, and, frank, gave them rides, and, bought them food, and gave, some of them, knives, which, he now figures, they probably sold, but, it seemed, like a good idea, at the time. never once, did he so much as, touch, one of them. any, of them. ever. he did, get a psycho, ex-boyfriend locked up, and, turned in a bunch of, worthless, crack-dealing, bottom-feeders to, the vice squad. he sure, as hell, did. even considered, a little, BOONDOCK SAINTS kind, of action, but, well, he'd have had to answer to, MOMS, if, he'd got caught, so, he, let that idea go. WOMEN, god's own ANGELS, were NOT, just an afterthought. and if any, ****head, out there, thinks, that any of these ANGELS are, anything, less than, god's CROWNING ACHEIVEMENT, said ****head, will, be answering, to him, personally, one day. one, fine day. and then, we'll see, who, the real man, is. or, in your case, isn't. that'll do, pig.
live, from the throne room (ok, it's the cat's room, just...), at VALHALLA, in the HALL OF THE DEAD, it's LOST HIGHWAY, with your host, frank cotton. take it away, FRANK! well, thank you, FRANK! try, and behave, OK? hi, everybody, it's me, frank, and i'm back for, ah, well...ok. the show, never, really stops, it, just kinda, goes on, and on, and on, much like, life. like, i say, it's, always midnight here, so, we need, some way to, i don't know, uh, some arbitrary, measure, of time, uh, for, some reason or, other, so, we, just pretend it's, a new day, or, night, or, ya know? anyways, where was i? from time to time, uh, what? hey, frank! get the, **** out of my, chair, and, away from, the mike, like, NOW! sorry, mother****er, can't even take a, oh, hey, there. it's, frank cotton, here, on, K-A-L-I radio, 6.6.6 IM, and, it's, uh, saturday night, or, sunday morning, depending. i decided to give, other frank, and, other, other, frank, a second, or, more like, MILLIONTH chance, to straighten their, respective, acts up. you see, what i get? ASSHOLES! sorry. the noise you, just heard was, READY TO FALL, SURVIVE, and DRONES, all by, RISE AGAINST, a favorite, here, off of, THE SUFFERER & THE WITNESS, I DARE YOU, SHINEDOWN, from, US AND THEM, and, AN EVENING WITH EL DIABLO, by, CHEVELLE, on, the WONDER WHAT'S NEXT disc. tonight's WORD, of the day, maybe, that, should be, WORD of, the night? no. tonight's WORD, there, i, like that, is, SUBTERFUGE. don't get to use, that one, much. tonight's THOUGHT, hey, that, like, really works, don't it? is, hold on...'you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make me care', uh, just, what the, hell, kind of non...oh, wait, yeah, that was, me, actually. or, one of us, at, any rate. ha ha. from, CONSOLIDATED HEAVY INDUSTRIES (CHI), we have tonight's, FRANK RECOMMENDS. please note, that, while C.H.I. is, a wholly owned, and operated, subsidiary, of NEW VISION (which is, not, by the way, in any, way, form, or, manner, connected to, THE CHURCH OF THE NEW VISION), the opinions, or, recommendations, of C.H.I. do NOT, necessarily, represent the, opinions, or, whatever, of - hey, i'm gettin' tired of, all this, legalese, BULL****! so, please, don't put any more, on my desk. we, liked THE NUMBER 23. there. i said it. damn near break time, already, and we ain't, even, got the tunes back on. yo, FRANK! no, aw, hell, wait, ,you'll do. play us some SHADOW ON THE SUN, AUDIOSLAVE, repeat. then, BLOW UP THE OUTSIDE WORLD, by, SOUNDGARDEN, DOWN ON THE UPSIDE bein' the name, of, the, black circle. make a note, franks, we need, way, more, SOUNDGARDEN! follow that up, with, FREE ME, and, THE DEEPEST BLUES ARE BLACK, FOO FIGHTERS, IN YOUR HONOR, if, you, don't mind and, i'll, get, to the RAVE. after i, smoke.
and now, what, the hell is, oh, great. according to, frank, here, or, there...there's been some, blowback from last night's, oh, no, you, did NOT say tirade. didn't, think so. missive. sounds, much better. anyhow, someone, got their nerves, all wound up, or bunched up, over, some frank, or, another's, suggestion, that folks get off, their, and, and, all that. well. TOUGH ****! sorry. we've been told, that, there's laws, or, somethin' stating, that. well, i'm sorry, alright? no one, told me, i, was not aware, i, did not know. to moderate, our, editorial stance on crackhouses, and ,the demolition thereof, we, are obliged to say, that, whether we really mean it or not, you, i mean, we, can, NOT urge our fellow, decent, generally law-abiding, compatriots, to take the law, into, their own hands, and, deal JUSTLY, with, the aforementioned, scum-of-the earth (and, their ****ing, LAWYERS), and/or their, Constitutionally protected, crackhouses. however, it wouldn't hurt OUR, feelings, here, at the station, if, someone were to, with, no prompting on our part, ignore all this legal BULL**** and, do what, NEEDS TO BE DONE! and, we have it on good authority, or, at least, semi-reliable rumor-mongering, that, god himself (let's not get into the, gender thing, now, please?), is, pretty much A-OK with, low-life, drug-dealing, evil, souless garbage, meeting with, their, just desserts. or, is that deserts? great, now ,i'm feeling hungry, and, over-warm. hopefully, the foregoing, will suffice to, ward off any, further, issues/cease-and-desist/threats, from, the FCC, and/or frank's, Parole Officer. with that, out of the way, i, would like to now, REALLY piss everyone, the **** off. GABRIELLE GIFFORDS. did you, not, see this coming? no, NOT her, you! folks, you, do, realize that, there are, those, amongst you, who are, now, UTTERLY CONVINCED, that she, is, THE BEAST (666), of, THE REVELATIONS OF SAINT JOHN? never mind that, she's female, and, most of us, i'm sure, just assumed, that, it would be, a guy. most, assholes are. but then, frank, did say he, made, the girls first, so, if, that were true, it, would, kinda make sense. and, not, only that, that, there are those, out, in the world, who, think it would be, just dandy, if, she was, as they were, gettin' tired of, waiting for, and, have been, ready for, for, some time now, for, ARMA-GODAMNED-MOTHER****IN'GEDDON! there's some, out there, literally, drooling, and, chompin' at, the bit, for, the show, to, get under way! and, the, sooner, the, better. some, figure, if, it's coming, and, 'god' wants it, that, it's, perfectly ok, for them, to, help it, right along. ya'll have, no idea of, the extent to which this, has been, anticipated, planned for, and, outright welcomed. you, know, how some of your, higher-ups, tend to, leave, a, trail of, terrified, servile, employees, in, their wake, everywhere, they go? you, notice how, they will, often, make a point to, walk thru a room, just to, scare, the, living ****, out of, the morlocks? that's, what they, think, of, you, you know? and, that's what they, live for, and, that's what they, want, for your, future. what, did, GEORGE ORWELL say, about, a boot, stomping, on a human face, forever? wait, that's right, he, said, it, was, a picture of, your future. pretty ****ing bleak, eh? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...here's, the thing. she's, not, 'the beast'. i, can gaurantee you, that. they, might, want her, to, play the role, maybe, even, try, to, coerce her, to. but ,it won't fly. why? frank, please, tell us, why? or, why, not. ok. BECAUSE, I"M, THE ****ING BEAST! THAT'S RIGHT! yours truly, good, old, frank cotton, only, half rotten, frank cotton, god, himself, is, also, the ANTI-CHRIST! didn't, see that one, coming, either, didja? of, course not! that's, the point, that's, the plan! (please note, that frank, in no way, claims now, or, ever will claim, to be THE MESSIAH, YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR. that's, a whole other show). oh, c'mon, grow up! don't, like surprises? better, go bury your head, somewhere, 'cause this, is, just the beginning.