A Painful Love

I thought you loved me
But your fist told me different.
I thought you cared for me
But apparently I was ignorant.
My vision was like the night sky
Because all I saw were stars.
Your words hurt me deeply
Leaving permanent emotional scars.
My white shirt sprinkled with crimson,
Blood released by the weight of your hand.
I cannot move and I cannot breathe
While over me you apologetically stand,
Wishing you can take back the moment
But the damage has been done.
Happiness is replaced by hurt
And our downward spiral has begun.
You ask me to put on “that” lingerie
As your way of making it up to me.
I’m supposed to be happy and content
While you have your way with my body.
You refuse to leave unless I give in to you;
My mind refuses to clear until you do.
I allow you to take advantage of me;
An unwanted yet unforceful rape ensues.
I look at the clock and the calendar as well
Wondering how much time has passed.
It seems as if time has stood still
Allowing my torture to painfully last.
His kisses burned into my skin…
His touches corrupted my soul…
My value has been diminished,
My worth he apathetically stole.
Who was I before that first hit?
Where is that missing person?
I don’t know who I am anymore…
My memory continues to worsen.
The love you say you have for me?
You can keep that to yourself.
I need to start taking care of myself
Because you are bad for my health.