In Disguises That No One Knows

-In Disguises That No One Knows-
by
Keaton Foster



Here I sit
The world spins
The sky begins
Never does it end
The sun burns bright
Children of life
Run and play
They look my way
Stranger they scream
Easily I agree
Eager adults coddle them tight
Protecting them from me
Such a wasteful endeavor
Nonetheless, I understand
I would not hurt them
I am only interested in hurting myself
But for now, this self-deprecating being
Has found a way to continue on
Observing them is the only way
My life is unlike theirs
It can and will never change
I am acutely aware of my place
In disguises that no one knows
I sit in plain sight
Under the same sun and sky
Under the same weight applied
They are much stronger than me
They can handle such a heavy load
Whereas I cannot
I would say that I am jealous
I would say that I wish
I were more like them
Free to live as life should be
But it would be a lie
It is bad enough that they
My children don't know
Who I am or what I have become
Their mother, the one loved
Does not see me because she
Like them, has moved on
She holds another close
A man not doomed by his actions
A man of reasonable expectations
He is good to her and good to them
Through predictable circumstance
I know that each day after school
They come to this park
To play out the frustrations faced
They are sure that I am dead
Or so they have been told
Death, such an ever-evolving state
I am certainly not, just absent
Just not part of their life
My no longer wife has done
What she was sure is right
I don't blame her, how could I ever
I will sit here, under the sun and sky
In disguises that no one knows
Because it is the only way
That I can see them grow
Beyond the time together
That we use to know…


In Disguises That No one Knows
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2012.