|There she stood at the crossroad in front of her. She always knew she would come to this point in life. She had her heart set on anywhere but this spot she was currently at. She looked back. The road was filled with people. It was full of books, papers, bags, expectations, cheering, booing, hissing and howling. The road was full of hardships, good times, love and hate.
Her heart sank. Her knees buckled. She fell.
The weight was all too much. She put her face into her hands. The tears came streaming down. She could still hear them.
They were all telling her which way to turn, which way to go.
“We need you.”
“Don’t leave us. The group needs your heart. We need your help.”
That’s all they could say on one side of the road. That’s all they had been saying up until now. Every time she wanted to quit.
Every time she had the inkling of walking away, off their path, they urged her on with their need for her.
“You should have never quit the first dream. They brainwashed you.”
This was all she could hear on the other side. She hadn’t been brainwashed, she had walked away because she thought she could do something else to revolutionize the world, and failed.
Her knees were starting to hurt under the weight of the entire world pushing down on her shoulders. This wasn’t getting any easier.
She lifter her head up to look at the sign describing the roads she could choose.
The Same. The Different.
That’s all she could read. Her choices were to stay on the same path with the whole world on her shoulders as she went along or to totally blow off everything going wherever her heart desired leaving EVERYTHING behind. She could lose everything or keep everything.
“Choose us. Keep us all,” they chanted, both sides in unison.
She closed her eyes. She couldn’t make this decision with them all over her shoulder. She put her face back into her hands.
How could she choose to give everything up, her family, her good friends? But how could she not choose to give up all the stress and hardship she’d been secretly hurting from for so long also?
The tears kept coming. She wasn’t who she once aspired to be. This was never suppose to happen. She thought meeting Him would change her for good, and it had, but now when she needed Him here to make this decision she no longer could feel His presence. Her tears became a raging force she couldn’t control and she laid her head down on the ground.
“Get up,” He called out.
“I can’t,” She whispered. The voices behind her were still pulsating together saying to choose them, growing louder and louder.
“Get up,” He called out again.
“I can’t,” she said again.
“Get up and find me,” His voice called out again.
She opened her eyes, looking up at the sign. Which way could He be calling from? She looked around her and then back to the crowd of the past and present. Through the mist of her eyes she could see all of their faces, their every crease and every emotion.
Suddenly a courage filled her heart. He wasn’t calling from ahead but from behind.
“STOP,” She screamed at the voices.
They didn’t cease but got louder.
“STOP,” She screamed again.
They just got louder.
The courage was building up more and more. She looked back at the sign. Things didn’t have to stay the same and they
didn’t have to be entirely different.
“Find me,” she heard Him call out again.
This time it was clear. He was lost in the mess of people behind her. He was lost in all the books, papers and items of her past and present. She turned around to face the crowds and stuff she was trying to decide whether to keep or give up. In one swift movement she started to run. The voices looked at her confused, for a moment the voices stopped yelling but whispered among each other pointing at her.
One step after another, her feet barely touching the group as she ran, she kept going. She didn’t pay attention to the faces of people gossiping about her, talking about how she was wrong to run back towards the past and away from the future they needed her in.
She kept running.
Their faces became a blur.
Faster, Faster, Faster.
She kept running through all the memories that broke her heart. She kept running through all the moments she felt a piece of her leaving. She kept running through all the moments that brought tears to her eyes. She kept running through everything that had weighed her down for the past year or so. She kept running.
“Almost here,” He called out.
Her heart kept beating.
Her breathing was getting harder. In. Out. In. Out. She knew she couldn’t keep going much longer. She could see the trees ahead. She could see the snow on the ground. She could feel the temperature dropping. Soon the dust filled sky started to darken and her feet kept running towards it. Faster and faster.
“STOP,” He called out.
Startled she tripped hitting the ground hard. Her mind and body still racing. Her lungs were gasping for air. Her heart was pounding in her ears.
“Get up,” He said. “Get up and come sit with me a while.”
She looked up and there He was. She smiled. She recognized where they were. She could remember the driveway covered in snow right outside the cabin. This is where they met. This is where He sent a sign saying He would take the world off of her shoulders. This is where she needed to get back to.
“This is where you need to be. This is where you need to stay. Here in this moment.” He spoke as a father would speak to his daughter.
“But if I stay here what will happen?” she asked looking at her feet.
“The world will go on. People won’t understand. But as long as you are here with me, walking with me, remembering not only this night, but who I programmed you to be, nothing else will matter.”
There she knew…
Nothing else would matter but that moment right there.