Hindsight Transparency

I saw you yesterday
Not really you
Your smile and laughter
in the whisper of a breeze

There is no "you" anymore
Not really you
Still there was something.....
in the murmur of the night

I heard your voice
Not really you
Saying my name, with a question
in the lyric of a song

I felt your presence
Not really you
With your hand on my shoulder
in the center of a storm

I walked with you then
Not really you
Where were we going?
in the bright light of May?

You were by my side
Not really you
Offering up promises
in the fullness of time

You said your vows Saturday evening
Not really you
At the end of September
in a Sunday night eternity

He told me you were dead
Not really you
Self-inflicted gunshot
in a New York hotel room

Buried the next Friday
Not really you
Dressed in your uniform
in a lonely cemetery as Summer turned to Fall

I dream of you now
Not really you
Phone call never comes
in the days of wind and rain

You are buried up North
Not really you
Your spirit endures
in the beauty of your children....

And all of us who loved and miss you

Your beauty survives
And yes,
at last
it is really you.....

.......

dedicated to you. You know who you are and what I mean by this. I will always love you.