‘The Prince and Princess fell in love; they got married and lived happily ever after...’ she said as the two wide eyed gorgeous children lay in bed listening to the story.
‘Mamma what is love?’ asked the young boy
‘Ummm love is when you care for someone so much, all you want to do is hold them and take care of them and make sure that nothing harms them!’
‘Like when daddy hugs you when you’re sad and you cry mamma?’
‘Yes sweetheart that’s exactly what love is...’ she smiles as she stares at the picture on the wall. A man holding a gorgeous baby girl in his arms, his arms so strong; yet so loving around her; like no one in the world could harm his little girl. The larger than life smile on his face could only explain his happiness at holding the beautiful baby girl.
‘My angel!’ he said ‘my beautiful angel, daddy loves you more than you can imagine sweetheart!’
‘Mamma’ whispered the little girl ‘why are you crying?’ she asked with a little crease on her forehead.
She hugged the children like they were her world ‘nothing baby, it’s time for both of you to go to bed’ she ever so softly kissed their foreheads ‘good night my babies, sleep tight, Mamma loves you’ as she pulled the covers over them and walked out of the room.
She walked back to her room, and quietly slipped under the covers as she noticed her husband was already asleep. Minutes later he wrapped his arm around her... “Good night sweetheart”. A loving smile blossomed on her face as she held his hand and closed her eyes... ‘I found it, I found the purpose of my life’ she looked so happy and content like a princess from a fairytale with her happily ever after ending.
Yet no one knew of those days where the only question that pondered her day and night was – ‘Who am I and what the purpose of my life is?’
With eyes tightly closed, in the darkness she remembered those days...
Dalia lay awake in the darkness of her room. Thinking, as she always did, about anything and everything. Mostly about her; who was she? She thought a lot but could never find her answer. How can someone answer a question like that? What makes a person who they are? What is it that really makes a human being a person?
‘I’m not sure what I make of my life, sometimes I feel like it’s a dream and I’m going to wake up and I won’t be me? Some days I wish all this was a dream but then I think if I wasn’t me who would I be? I stare in the mirror looking at my reflection, those deep brown eyes staring back at me, questioning me, asking me something but I don’t know what that something is. At times I question my existence, my purpose in life. What am I here for? What am I meant to do? Is there a reason for my existence?’ she thought as she lay in bed and quietly fell asleep with a million thoughts going round and round in her head like a tornado.
A quick knock on the door woke her up, ‘must be mom’ she thought; another sharp knock before the door was quickly pushed open ‘its 7’ her mom said
‘Yes, I’m awake; just give me five minutes’ Dalia said as she shut her eyes trying to fall asleep again. Without realising she fell asleep and only woke up when there was banging on the door, her little brother came in; pulled the covers off her and opened the curtains ‘wakey wakey sunshine!’ he grinned at her
‘Get out of my room!’ she screamed back at him ‘go away let me sleep!’ – She suddenly woke up, hoping to find her brother grinning down at her; but he wasn’t there.
She lay there with her eyes open, staring at the white ceiling of her bedroom; thinking ‘today you’re going to fly! Spread those wings and fly high in the sky. The day has come for you to fly away from this place, towards your destiny’
With a sad yet content smile she woke up and started her daily morning routine, but today it was different, everything was different. Her usually messy room was clean and shining; and bags and packed boxes were all over her floor. ‘My life packed away in boxes and bags!’ she thought and let out a sigh.
Walking out of the room she saw her parents and brother waiting at the dining table.
‘Good morning’ they said as she replied ‘morning’ with a smile.
‘Some one looks happy today! I wonder why’ taunted her little brother Aaron as her chucked a piece of his toast at Dalia
‘Don’t throw your food around, do you know how lucky you are to have all this food in front of you! Not everyone is as lucky ass....’
‘Yes mom! I’m sorry I know’ Aaron said rolling his eyes at his mom while Dalia and her dad chuckled.
I’m going to miss these days, this place, this house, and my friends! Oh I’m going to miss everything about it – yet on the other hand I can’t wait to go to Albany, Dalia thought as she ate her breakfast.
‘Stop playing with your food, hurry up and finish eating you have to put all those boxes in the car you know’ her mom yelled as she started clearing the table. Somehow today Dalia didn’t get angry or even upset at her mom’s comments, if it were any other day this would be the start of something big! Dalia just smiled and gave her full attention to the milk and cornflakes.
As she finished eating, she washed her plate and placed it on the kitchen bench and walked outside to see if her dad and brother needed any help with loading the boxes.
‘About time you came and helped princess’ Aaron yelled with a heavy box in his hand which he would have dropped if Dalia hadn’t come and helped him with it.
‘I know, you can’t seem to be able to do anything without me can you little bro’ she stuck her tongue out at him while pushing the box inside the car.
‘You wish!’ he slammed the door and pushed past her.
It was 10 am by the time they finished packing all the boxes in the car and walked back into the house to check if everything that needed to be put in the car was gone.
Dalia went straight to her room and sat on her bed – ‘hell I’m going to miss this place’ memories of good and bad times came flying back to her and a tear rolled down her cheek - ‘in all the possible places in the world I never in my wildest of dream thought I would shed a tear for this place, my home – was my home!’ she corrected herself; smiled ‘I’m going to miss you Raven Hill I’ll be back someday just not sure when...’
‘Ready to go? Have we missed anything?’ her dad said as he walked in and stopped midway as he saw Dalia was crying ‘what are you crying for?’ his voice mellowed down as he came and sat next to her.
‘I know why, think of the positive side of this, you’re talking a step towards your future, you’re not a little girl anymore, you have grown up; grown up into a loving, caring, beautiful and responsible young lady. This is the next chapter in your life and this will always be your home no matter what but for now you have to go, you have to prove to yourself what you can do!’ he hugged her and as soon as he did Dalia’s tears started flowing.
‘Hurry up guys!’ screamed Aaron from outside
Dalia stood up and started walking but before she could go any further her dad pulled her back ‘ I want you to promise me one thing, I know your old enough and you know all this but let me say this again for my sake. Take care of yourself and make sure you never do anything that you will regret in your life. I’m proud of you and always make me proud my daughter! I love you’ he hugged her again and walked out.
Dalia had one last look at the house and walked out with the car keys in her hands. Her mom was already hugging her brother and crying. She quickly walked past them towards the car, because she didn’t want another emotional encounter with her mom- she was scared that if her mom did say something she may change her mind and she for sure did not want to risk that.
Her mom came towards her and hugged her so tight as if she would never let go, she pulled back and kissed her daughter on her forehead and said ‘take care of yourself ’
‘Stop crying like a baby! You look like such a weirdo ha-ha’ Aaron taunted Dalia then came towards her and gave her a big bear hug.
‘I’m going to miss fighting with you! But don’t you worry big sis! One year and I’m right behind you! Till then take care’ he smiled
Finally after all the emotional scenes, Dalia sat in the car while her parents and Aaron stared at her from the door – ‘I hate goodbyes! I just hate this stupid feeling... I don’t want to feel like this...’
‘What’s wrong?’ her dad asked
‘Nothing’ she whispered and slowly released the brake and watched her family as the car was reversing.
She reversed the car onto the road from the car park and waited for a moment, just staring at them and the house and remembering the first day ever when she entered this house...
‘Oohhhh this house is soooo big daddy!’ the little Dalia was smiling from ear to ear as she entered the big house while tightly clutching her dad’s hand.
‘Yes, it is sweetheart and guess what you have your own big room! And a big bed where you can put all your toys’ he smiled looking down at the little girl.
‘Awwww really daddy? Show me my room, show me my room!!’ – She jumped up and down squealing
‘Ok ok I will, just relax – I’ll show you your new room’ he assured her – then walked her towards her bedroom and said ‘see this is your room, do you like it?’ he looked down at her
‘Wow! My room is so big daddy! And I have a big bed so now Sally and Rory my other teddy’s can sleep with me too, cant they daddy?’
He just laughed at his little daughter and thought – ‘I wish you could always be this sweet little angel of mine! Never growing up and leaving us one day...’
Dalia let go of her hand and went it to the middle of the room and did a little twirl and jumped up and down on the furry carpet- ‘I love this room daddy thank you so much! And I love you too’ as she came back running and hugged her daddy...
‘You better hurry, or it might get too dark by the time you reach Albany...’
‘oh’ – Dalai realise her dad had come out on the road and was speaking to her – she only stared at him and saw the look in his eye – she wanted to hug him and say ‘daddy I wish I was still that little girl...’
‘Go, you need to reach in time, so we’re not worried about you’ he said again.
‘Uh yah’ she stammered ‘yes yes, I’ll... uh I’ll leave now... I love you all ‘she smiled at her dad – he leaned in from the window and kissed her forehead ‘take care my princess’ and he moved back from the car. Dalia closed the window and slowly staring at her mom, dad and Aaron and drove past them.
The journey towards the unknown yet something amazing had just begun – while Dalia wasn’t aware of this but she knew something good was definitely going to happen, offcourse with the two most beautiful girls waiting for her! How could anything bad happen?
Dalia smiled thinking of just all the things the three of them would get up to!
Dalia had been driving for about half an hour just as her phone started ringing.
‘Shit!’ – She yelled ‘scared the hell out of me’ – she quickly looked at the phone and saw who was calling ‘speaking of the devil’ she smiled; it was Alisha.
Dalia pulled the car over and quickly answered the call before it was cut ‘Heyyyyy!’ she excitedly squealed in it and just as excitedly squealing came the reply ‘ Daliaaaaaaa!! HaveyouleftRavenHillyet??I’msodamnexcitedthatyouarecomingherearghhh’
‘hahaha Aliiii relaxxx!! Calm down!! I can’t even understand a word your saying’ Dalia laughed
‘Haha sorry! I just can’t tell you how excited I am for you to be here! I just can’t wait!! Have you left Raven Hill?’
‘Yes! I have just about half an hour ago and I am so excited to see you guys too! Cannot wait! Just wish I didn’t have to drive these 500 kilometre’s by myself!’
‘Awwww I know the long drive must suck! But hey hurry up and get here because once you do that 500 kilometre drive is going to be well worth it!’
‘Hell yes! Sure is going to be worth it!! Are you with Saniya??’ Dalia asked
‘No, she isn’t here yet, think she will be here in a little while I guess’
‘Alright then; let me go now so I can come a see you soon! ‘
‘Ha-ha yah right better let you go, hurry up and get here – the fun is just about to begin! Drive slow ok? Don’t rush, take your time but get here as soon as you can!’
‘Yes, yes I know, don’t worry, I’ll drive safely and see you soon, let Saniya know too ok?’
‘Ya will do! Take care! Love you and see you soon!’
‘Love you too, see you’- she ended the call, blasted the music and started driving again.
Driving on the road in the middle of nowhere – with just desert everywhere she looked... reminding her of Raven Hill.
For a minute while talking to Alisha she had totally forgotten about Raven Hill and it seemed like a distant memory to her but now that she was alone again one by one random thoughts popped into her head. Dalia didn’t like being alone because it only led to one thing – Gavin!
He was the last thing she wanted to be thinking about, she tried her hardest not to think of him – she changed the CD – skipped songs, increased the volume; still she couldn’t get him off her mind. Everything came flowing back to her like it had just happen; pain stabbed through her heart and it almost felt like the pain was physical.
‘I have no choice Dalia, I’m sorry! I love you but there is just no way that we can be together anymore... I can’t’.... Gavin let go of her hands and turned around to leave – Dalia had tears running down her cheeks; she wanted to scream, to make him stop, to tell him how much he meant to her, how she couldn’t live without him – but nothing came out of her mouth.
She opened her mouth and tried her hardest to scream but not a word came out of her mouth as she watched him go; not once turning around to look back at her...
‘I have no choice...’
‘... there is no way we can be together...’
‘... no way...’
‘... no way we can be together...’
‘... no choice...’
‘I have no choice...’
‘... no way we can be together...’
‘Nooooo don’t go Gavin! I love you!’ she slammed her break and screamed... but Gavin was long gone and she was in the middle of nowhere...
‘Why didn’t I stop him? If only I had stopped him that day, today we would be together! If only I had told him how much I love him...’ she cried – tears flowing down her face as she screamed- ‘I love you! I love you! I love you so much it hurts to be away from you...!’ Dalia sat in her car for what seemed like a lifetime crying her eyes out... just like she had done every night in her bed since that night...
There was no other option but to cry... what could she do? There wasn’t anything to do! – She was quite when she had to chance to speak and now when she wants to speak there is no chance...
Her phone started ringing again, she didn’t even bother looking at who it was this time and ignored it. Got out of the car and washed her face with the bottle of water she had in the car... the phone was still ringing! The ringtone was annoying her so much but she didn’t have the heart to talk to talk to anyone but then she thought ... ‘maybe its mom, and if I don’t answer it they will get worried...’ she quickly went back inside the car and answered her phone...
‘What took you so long to answer?? Is everything ok? Are you ok? Did something happen??’ the worried voice of her mom came through the phone.
‘No mom, I’m fine, nothing happened. I just took a quick stop to go to the ladies room’
‘Oh alright! Take your phone with you! I was so worried for a while and you left all the food I packed for you behind.’
‘Oh really? I didn’t even notice that, its ok mom I’ll grab something from the shops when I stop and anyway I’m not really hungry...’
‘Ummm have you been crying... your voice... seems very...?’
‘No mom! Of course not, it’s probably the network anyway I’m fine and I better get going don’t want to be too late Alisha and Saniya are waiting for me. Love you take care bye’ – she disconnected the call before her mom could say another word.
Back on the road... with a million thoughts on her mind she drove... as usual...!