Highly Irregular

"This bridge is certainly cyclopean," sighed the prince as a Cyclops suddenly appeared amidst its large limestone blocks.

The monster squinted its bloodshot eye at the prince,"Who goes there?"

"Err... Over here, " replied the prince helpfully tapping his shoe.

"Prepare to be eaten, princess," cried the monster.

"What?" replied the prince.

"I said, Prepare to be..."

"Yes, I got that part," interrupted the prince. "It was the latter part that confused me. I'm a prince."

The Cyclops turned slightly red, squinted hard and then shook his head "Oh, Well all of you humans look alike. Now, where was I? Prepare to be eaten..."

"Now hold on, you can't just go and eat a man after calling him a princess, that's just unfair."

"Well, I see your point but..." started the Cyclops before bursting into tears. " I just can't seem to see quite as well as I used to. Why just the other day, in the woods, I grabbed the wrong leaf to wipe with. I've been itching ever since.

The prince carefully trotted over and patted him, "Well that's disconcerting, but maybe we can help each other out.You see, my Uncle wants me to rescue this princess who got herself trapped in an sorcerer's tower. Personally, I say nuts to that. Am I the one who went mucking about in the Sorcerer's business? 'But no,'says my Uncle, "Your a prince and princes save princesses."

"So here I am. Now, what I really want is to be like my cousin, Hershel. He's an optometrist, nice safe career. You don't die early when your an optometrist, that's for sure. I can get you in with him. How about we help each other out?"

The Cyclops sniffled and then grinned,"Well... it's highly irregular but I have always wondered what Sorcerer tastes like."