That's Not How I Remember It

"That's not how I remember it," snorted the grizzled old man to the small group of vets around him. His name was Ed Stephens, short colonel (retired USA). He wore an old style army dress uniform that seemed to sparkle above his left breast as the dim lights of the bar played off all the medals that hung there. He had been coming to the same old bar across the street from the VA center since damn near the day the Army had told him to shove off at age Sixty. He snorted again,"If it weren't for the Fifth those gull-durned Natzees would have held the beach."

"Nazis? Nazis he says, that's not how I remember it," guffawed Ed's long time friend Charles who was sitting off to Ed's right and decked out in the royal blue of the Queen's airmen, glaring back at the Colonel." Are you going soft in the head, Ed? I was there with you shooting at those Ruskies. You know full well that after his beer hall putsch failed Hitler was executed, and the National Socialists became irrelevant. Why they didn't even participate in the resistance to the Russian Occupation of France. For god's sake have you had a stroke?
I mean the Russian defeat is the whole reason we're celebrating Memorial day, after all."

"Russian Occupation of France?" surely you're drunk as well, inquired the Asian gentleman in the sharp navel whites who sat across from both of them. Why Russia's role in modern history ended when the Great Kahn had their so called Peter the Great publicly flogged in the great square in Khanbalikh. I know, I saw the very spot when I was on vacation in the forbidden city last year with my son and daughter-in-law," he took a sip of his beer before continuing. "In fact, I touched the ax myself, that's not something you forget. Why, come to think of it, I showed both you my silver star from the battle of San Francisco and my vacation pictures just last week."

"The Great Khan? Now wait just a...." started the Colonel slamming his half empty beer down on the table.

"Is there a problem, Gentlemen?" interjected the waitress, a young vivacious redhead as she rushed over to try to douse the commotion.

"Hell's bells there is, little lady. Will you please straighten out these senile old men I'm stuck with and explain to them just who in the Sam Hell really won Dub-ya Dub-ya Two," groused the old man pointing to his compatriots.

"Err... Well," she stammered.

"Well what? Just spit it out," said the old man feeling exasperated.

"Well, I think the war your talking about is, The Second Patriot's War..."she said snapping her gum before continuing, as he glared. " But I think I understand why your confused."

"I ain't confused, this whole damn place is." he replied as the old men around him began to rib him.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you. You see, It's the policy here at Kant's Pub to not to get caught up in our patron's memories and such. I mean who's to really say when what happened or who won what, anyways? As far as we're concerned what's real for you is really all that matters," she said finishing her prepared speech with another snap of her gum."

The old man put a twenty dollar bill on the table and then smiled, " Are you sure you can't humor a couple of old timers?"

The red haired waitress looked around quickly and then grabbed the bill before saying," Well okay, I hope I don't get into trouble but you see, We've been studying this in school. I think what it all comes down to is this, the trouble really started when Henry Ford patented the process to mass produce Edison's time coil, ever since then people have been mucking around with history. The experts say the past is a personal construct and you can only change your own history and not anyone else's but I honestly don't believe that. But if it helps that makes all of you technically right. So there's really no reason to fight about it," she finished snapping her gum for a final time before pulling out her order pad and smiling. "Who's ready for another round?"

"Edison's time coil? Edison's time coil? Everyone knows that time travel was invented by Tesla using Dirac's field equations. Edison's just a patent stealing fraud," growled Col. Stephens.

"That's not how I remember it..." said another old man, piping in from across the room.