Soldier

Soldier
I remember how it felt in my hand.
That little piece of paper.
Something so small, yet words were so big, had so much meaning.
I remember getting the telegram from the other soldiers, thinking you just wrote me again but I was wrong.
I remember my throat clogging up so much I couldn't swallow.
I remember not being able to breathe or think.
I remember 1949/June/17, as I went up to the door,
the guy standing in the uniform, bowed his head at me like I was royalty
and asked if I was your wife I said "Yes of course" and he handed me the telegram.
It was late when I looked at it and knew it wasn't good.
"I regret to inform you...has died in action I'm so very sorry for your loss..."
No! I wept as I fell to the floor on my knees dropped the paper and cried.
I remember 16 months ago, we first go married.
I remember you always promised you would be here for me and later for our unborn kid
and I kept telling you not to make promises you can't keep.
I remember getting dressed in black, me looking 5 months pregnant.
I remember riding in the back of the soldiers car.
I remember getting out and seeing your casket get carried off and sat down.
"We are gathered here today for the death of... he was a great man in the army..."
I remember just sitting there in front of you dead body.
Not moving, just frozen.
I remember the last pile of dirt being thrown over you
and that's when I cried, broke down and finally said
"I wont forget, I don't have any regrets. I love you honey...goodbye..."