|I am five years old. I am into Star Wars figures and Match Box Cars. Tantrums and getting my own way. For the most part, I don't wear shoes. We live in the country, in Outback W.A, but I am fascinated by the city that my mother comes from. Melbourne. It's on the other side of Australia. I know that I will live there some day. My tracksuit always has to match, top to bottom. I get quite upset if it doesn't. I get upset quite a bit. The other day, I wrote "fuk" on the cover of my brother's Invaders comic book. He knew it was me, because out of all the kids there I was the dumbest, he said. I know I am the smartest. I know that one day I will sit by the throne of God, Jesus on one side and me on the other. I think Darth Vader is my father too.
Nine years old. I live in the country. I live in the country on the other side of Australia now. Regional Victoria. I don’t like this town as much as my old one. I have lots of cousins here though. That is why we moved here. My teacher always tells me off for slouching in my seat. She tells me off for everything. We don’t get along very well. I’m confused because I thought that teachers had to like the kids they taught? My Mum just laughs when I tell her this. I also get in trouble a lot for drawing in the columns of my exercise books. I’m into Transformers toys and GI Joe action figures and M.A.S.K. My brother often gets angry with me because I won’t give him my pocket money to help him buy comic books. We get our pocket money from our Dad, who we ran away from in the middle of the night, but he found us. I use my pocket money to buy toys, why would I buy comic books when I can read his? I saw my first real life naked woman the other night. I didn’t mean to. But I did.
Seventeen years old. I'm into smoking cigarettes, drinking southern comfort straight, smoking marajuana, taking acid, having sex with my girlfriend, cutting school and reading comic books. I like grunge music and I have a fringe that reaches past my chin. I have the longest fringe amongst all my long fringe friends. I've been kicked out of home, I live in a townhouse in a retirement village with 2 guys from Melbourne who moved here to escape the big city guns-and-drugs scene. My friends come around, not to see me, but to use my housemates giant bong. I write and draw my own comic books now, as well as reading other peoples. I plan on moving to the city when my girlfriend finishes school and becoming a comic book publisher by night and a printer by day. I do not live with my head up my arse. That is for mid-thirties bald guys who sit at the kitchen table completing exercises from writing books about their youth.
Author's Note: originally produced in my blog as a writing exercise from the book "Starting to Write" by Dr Rennie Cooper.
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