Secret Shame

-Secret Shame-
by
Keaton Foster



Inside this heart
A secret shame
Aching to escape
Something
I've willingly done
Something
Yet to be confessed
The curse of its source
Can never be truly undone
These hands
Stained
Blood red
Not of death
But of violence shared
As well as inflicted
With and upon
One and another
Two victims
Doing what they must
Survival
Has been the only way
I'm am alive
He is not
No longer
Does he face
Any form of a livable life
Something else
A betrayal of ideals
I can assure you
And I know that he
Would absolutely agree
That breathing, beating
Feeling, screaming
Does not constitute living
Thoughts of such clarity
In a wilderness of causality
Mean nothing
I know him all too well
Far better than most
Much of who he is
Is a complete secret
Just like the shame
Of all that it has meant
To be connected to him
Our soul only knows
One home
One absolute truth
That we have both done
All that we can to avoid
The secret shame
Faced
It is unlike any other weight
Carried by him and I
A burden that keeps life
From moving beyond
Our time as one unified front
Within the presence of another
That should have loved us
But certainly did not
Into a den of wolves
Him and I were thrown
He was ripped from my being
Devoured at the scene
He was stomached
While I was chewed up
And then spit out
Disgusting to such beast
I appeared to be
Quickly I moved on
Never did I try to save him
I looked into deep his eyes
Into the reflection of our lives
I assured him that he
The only one that they desired
Must remain behind
As I, the one they refused
Must move on
Into an existence without him
Our separation
By such forceful methods
Is a secret shame
That I keep to myself
Because if anyone close to me
Was to know of the connection
Between him and I
Then the chances for survival
Both his, and certainly mine
Would be lessened to a degree
That either one of us
Could find a way to deal with
The secret shame
Will always be
Mine to embrace
And ours to face…





Secret Shame
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2012.