Summer writing program entry

If you think it bothers me that you lock me out of your door at night?
It doesn’t.
If you think it bothers me that you let me nearly OD on meds the doctor prescribed and called your Mother to watch to make me look bad.
It didn’t.
Do you think it hurt me when you told me you had a girlfriend 36 years ago that plays in a gospel group now and all the ungodly positions you got to play on her and how good it felt?
It did but it didn’t hurt that I marked all over everything with soap her name on the TV and antique mirror.
It did.
Did it matter to you that I nearly lost my life?
No, you could care less.
Did it matter you that you were high on prescription drugs, had a wreck, lost my dog, lost my job to take care if you because I thought it the right thing to do?
It hurt me but didn’t hurt you as I stayed at the hospital to do my wifely duties.
The accident happened in May and I had a trip planned to go see my friend who I hadn’t seen in 30 years. Your family called and this was in the July. Finally, her Mother said, “These people are sucking the life out of you. Go to Disney Land and forget all of this before you have a nervous breakdown.”
You could have used a wonderful nurse while I was gone but your Stepfather took it upon himself to have an affair with her so your Mother wouldn’t have her take care of you. She blamed everything on her niece. Her niece who was abused by your Mother’s sister’s husbands and had shock treatments on her brain trying and forget the molestations of the past. What a dysfunctional family I married into! Well, I don’t have to put up with it anymore for you are nothing but a male whore.
The legal system is giving me a chance and I can’t wait to see the look on your face when I say I don’t care anymore. You can keep cutting me but I don’t bleed. There isn’t anything left!
Do you think it hurt because I called the ambulance myself?
No it didn’t.
Does it hurt to know in two months I will be divorced from you forever?
No, because my heart’s been broken enough.