In the Eyes

         Zach brushed his hair away to look into his eyes. Those deep blue gems glared back at him and glistened with tears. Just seeing his own reflection made his heart ache and pull. He hurt so badly inside... He quickly brushed his hair back down in his face to cover those eyes. Zach always kept his eyes covered. Absolutely everyday he brushed his hair flat over his face so no one could see them. Why? Someone had once told him that eyes were a window to the soul. He spent everyday of his life terrified that someone would see his eyes and know the truth about him... Why did he have to be this way?! It wasn't fair... he tried to push it aside and hide it, but there is no use in hiding something so big. Zach sat down on the rug and leaned against the cabinet. He sat in remembrance of the day he discovered the truth about himself...

*****

         "So, I have decided to wear a light blue dress, you know to match your eyes. So you should get a tie to match it! I'll send you the color swatch, okay?", Alice, Zach's girlfriend blabbed on and on about how she was going to do her hair for prom and... blah blah blah, he had absolutely no clue what she was saying. Besides, what did he care. He wasn't attracted to her. He knew, that, as a guy, he should. She was the definition of pretty: a young blonde-blue-eyed-beauty. Her hair fell right below her breasts which swelled out the front of her chest. All the boy's eyes were drawn to her perfect curves, and yet Zach didn't care for them. But, Alice was obviously attracted to him, so in an attempt to belong, he asked her out.

         "Zach, are you even listening to me?" Alice glared at him, but his eyes were glared over. She growled then in an attempt to regain his attention, pulled him into a hot passionate kiss. Zach was shocked back into reality. He knew what he should do; close his eyes and kiss her back. But that just didn't feel right to him, so instead he looked around for something to focus on, until Alice had finished shoving her tongue around and inside his mouth.

         That's when it happened. Zach saw Alex walk out of the boy's locker room and into the hallway. His hair was slightly darker from the sweat from his workout, and his tight white shirt clung to his body and showed off each and every one of his perfectly defined muscles. God... he looked so hot. Wait. What had he just thought? Alex, the football team quarter back looked hot to Zach?! It was so wrong! And yet... so right... His dark hair slightly curled... his emerald green eyes... those muscular arms... Zach couldn't help but wonder how they would feel wrapped around his body. Zach closed his eyes, and imagined, instead of Alice, he was kissing Alex... That felt so much more right... He twisted his fingers up into her hair, and imagined the dampness of Alex's hair reaching his fingers. That was the most passionately he had ever kissed his girlfriend... And in his mind, it wasn't even her...

*****

         Zach snapped back to reality, and cried harder. It was so wrong... So so so wrong... His tears flooded down his cheeks as he tried to form the words in his own mind for the first time. I'm gay, he thought to himself. then he tried to say it, "I'm gay-" he choked and began to cry again. He would never be able to accept this... Why him? Why did he have to be this way?