Limericks Mk VI

DRUIDS AND PRIESTESSES



The arch druid stormed through the door,

giving vent to a furious roar.

A virgin priestess

had been forced to confess

that she wasn’t intact any more.



THE SINS OF THE RICH



Lord Fanshawe was troubled by gout,

especially when he dined out.

He drank too much port,

far more than he ought.

Which caused him to scream and to shout.



A BLAMELESS LIFE



My great aunt Samantha once said,

“I can’t get it out of my head.

I’ve lived like a nun,

and not had much fun.

Just crocheted lace doilies instead.”



HUMPTY DUMPTY



An egghead who hailed from Japan

was a truly remarkable man.

He sat on a wall

and had a great fall.

The king’s men took him off in a van.



SPOOKY



A’top of the old abbey stair

stands a door that is really not there

It’s a gateway to hell

so it IS just as well

there’s a zombie that screams out “BEWARE!!”



ANOTHER DOORWAY



Another old doorway I’ve seen,

hides a secret bizarre and obscene.

It’s been sealed by a curse,

and what makes it worse

it’s painted a bilious green.



EXISTENTIAL PHILOSOPHY (1)



I’m facing the future with fears.

I’ll be there in not many years.

My old crystal ball

isn’t working at all.

So I’m left with depression and tears.



EXISTENTIAL PHILOSOPHY (2)



I’m facing the future with hope.

I’m not going to sit here and mope.

I’ve got things to do

I’ll achieve them all, too.

For I know very well I can cope.