An Odd Collection of Quotes

                                                                    An Odd Collection of Quotes



          A repeat offender is a person who offends someone more than two times.



          Being redundant is like saying something over and over, then saying it again.



          Some say he is too smart for his own good, but who isn't?



          Paying a doctor to tell you you are sick is redundant, isn't it?



          Never trust a person who is trustworthy.



          Speeding to your destination is like cheating time, but time cheats everyone.



          A void is a place where there is nothing but nothing.



          A sheep is a four-footed furry animal that likes to stay close to his friends, otherwise they would call him anti-social.



          If half the fun in traveling is planning the trip, why not just stay at home and plan.



          All people should run into a brick wall at least once.  Then they will know what pain is.



          I like to eat. It is a good way to fill the stomach.



          If humans are so smart why do they take a bus when they could walk?



          One of the things I hate most is when people tell me I'm smart when it is so obvious.



          When humans talk to each other, it is so easy to put your foot in your mouth.  Therefore, one should use sign language.



          A loudmouth is a person who not only speaks loudly but is boring.



          It irritates me when other people are irritating.



          A judge is a person who judges people, but who is he to judge?



          I know some people who think they are so superior when it is obvious I have the highest IQ.



          Did you know that if all the cars in the country were all lined up, it would the biggest traffic jam in history?



          If every single person were to graduate from college, who would fix the toilet?



          I love going to work. The problem is when you get there you have to work.



          Sometimes you have to put your foot down and say, no, I will not go through that fence.



          I don't know why they say life is short when the mail takes so long to get here.



          People who take chances often are successful, but that's the chance you take.



          The whole point of gossip is not that it may be false, but it probably happened.



          Why do people jump to conclusions when you know it's going to happen anyway.



          If all the people in the world were put into one room, it would be very stuffy.



          I like money because you can trade it for other things.



          Nothing is worse than a person who is boring in perfect English.



          They say a hospital is a good place to get well, so why are there so many sick people there?



          If you don't like stories with a surprise ending, why did you read it?



          People who live in glass houses should be careful.